Things We Already Knew
by redunicorns01
Summary: He looks from the picture to the now empty doorway. There was no sight of the curly blonde. He’s thought it before, but this time he doesn’t think he’ll ever see Peyton Sawyer again and it tore his heart apart. He thinks he chose the wrong girl to marry.
1. Chapter 1

She was six years old when she first met Nathan Scott.

Her parents walked her to her classroom on her very first day of school. Her mother held her hand while her dad told her all she needed to know about kindergarten. She was nervous. Like really nervous. She wasn't that social of a kid and her family was pretty close knit.

It wasn't that she didn't find other kids fun. She just like spending time with her parents more. Her father worked for a dredging company and he would tell Peyton stories of all the wonders of the world he had seen. Larry was home often though, not wanting to be away from his family. Her father was like a kid trapped in a thirty-something year olds body. He could make Peyton laugh on a bad day. It's where she got her sarcastic attitude from.

Her mother, Anna, was an artist and sold pieces all along the east coast. It wasn't anything big or fantastic, but something she enjoyed. And something Peyton enjoyed. Thanks to her mom, at three Peyton could draw pretty much whatever she wanted at any given time. She would sing her daughter to sleep and, without her knowing, would watch as she peacefully slept.

She was happy with her life. She didn't really expect it to change and didn't want it to. She was happy with the way things were.

They walked into the colorful classroom as other little children ran around screaming and laughing. The teacher, Ms. Kelly, came over to talk to her parents and asked Peyton if she would like to go play with the other kids. Always a bit shy, she shook her head and coward behind her mother's leg. Anna sent an apologetic smile to the teacher and bent down to meet her daughter's eyes. "Sweetie don't you want to go play?"

Peyton shook her head no.

"Okay. Why don't you go color a picture?"

"I don't want to be here." She said quietly so only her mother heard.

"Hey," She caught her daughter's tear from falling and gently pushed her chin up to meet her eyes. "It's okay. You're only going to be here for a few hours and then I'm going to come pick you up and the three of us will go out for ice cream. How does that sound?" A small smile appeared on Peyton's face and she reluctantly smiled. "Okay. I'll see you soon. I love you so much."

"I love you too mommy."

Her father bent down and gave her a hug and told her to be good before throwing in an _I love you_. She returned the words and ran off to a nearby table.

She sat down at the tiny table just big enough for her with the crayons she always carried around in hand and a stack of papers she had found in the other. She took out her worn black crayon and began making lines that would soon become something great. At least to her it would be. The teacher came over shortly after her parents left and asked if she would like a snack.

She didn't.

Later when the teacher came asking if she wanted to do something other than draw she shook her head no. So she left her there. At the table, drawing pictures, and then throwing them on the ground beside her when she thought they weren't good enough. She didn't notice when the room got suddenly quiet.

"What are you doing?"

Peyton looked up from her recent picture to see a blue eyed, raven haired boy standing behind her. She met his eyes and he furrowed his brow when she turned back to her picture. "Drawing." He heard her mumble.

He stood there for awhile thinking she would eventually get up. "It's time to go outside." He stated, not really sure why he wasn't outside with the rest of his friends. He went to grab his basketball and saw her just sitting there. It was the first time he noticed her even in the class and couldn't help but wondering why she just sat there by herself.

She never responded to his statement and didn't care to.

"Aren't you coming?" He asked.

"Is it time to go home yet?" She asked still not looking up from her picture.

"No."

"Then no. I'm not coming." He still didn't move. Something kept his feet planted to that floor. That mess of curls she was sporting attracted him to her. And when he saw those green eyes he just became more interested.

They were just kids and nothing was wrong with them or their worlds. He, for some reason, wanted to know her. She just wanted him to leave her alone.

"I'm Nathan."

She was kind of surprised he hadn't left yet and finally she stopped in the middle of her work and turned around to him. "What do you want?"

"Your name." He smirked that boyish smirk that got him out of many troubles. If only he knew it would be his deadliest weapon when he got older.

"Peyton." She huffed and turned back to her paper. She stared at it and convinced herself that it wasn't right. The lines and the color didn't match up. The way it looked could have been better and she herself could have done better. She crumpled it into a ball and threw it to the floor.

"Why'd you do that?" He asked, noticing the multiple others around her chair.

"It wasn't good."

He nodded even though she didn't see and decided it was probably best to leave her be. He trapped the ball to his hip and made his way out the door and to the playground.

For the rest of the day he couldn't escape the image of the girl in curls and on some strange level he couldn't wait to see her the next day.

It only excited him more when he realized he'd be seeing her for five days every week.

She forgot her lunch one day and his mom always packed extra. She was sitting alone at the table she normally sat at with her notepad and pencil in hand as always. He'd known _of_ her for a few months now and wondered why she never tried to make friends. He saw how she perked up when her parents came to get her and it was really the only time she ever really smiled a genuine smile.

He tried talking to her more, but in a way that was older than who she was, always shot him down or give him a sarcastic remark. It always kind of hurt when she did it. He was trying to be her friend and normally he would have given up by now, but with her he didn't want to.

He walked over to her table with his brown paper bag in hand and sat down next to her. She didn't bother to look up at him. He smiled and began unpacking the contents of the bag. He handed her half of his sandwich and offered his mom's freshly baked cookie to her.

She took it without a word.

She didn't say thank you and he didn't expect it from her. They just sat there. They exchanged few words to the other and it wasn't awkward for either of them. She continued to draw and he watched from his side of the table.

He met her eyes once and he smiled.

When they were done, he didn't bother to move and she didn't ask him to.

She kind of enjoyed his company.

**

He was eight when his father told him to really step up his game.

Nathan came to his father one day after watching Duke play UNC on TV and told him that he wanted to play for the Blue Devils. He was signed up for a recreational league the very next day.

Dan bought him top of the line shoes and an official ball to practice with. He'd played before, but not with the seriousness and determination as Dan. He'd practice all day because it's what daddy wanted and he tried to do everything in his power to be the best.

And he was.

For an eight year old.

At such a young age he played with such grace and…sweetness. He made it look easy and he knew that.

It was November when he first noticed Peyton Sawyer. Like _really_ notice her. He ran out onto the court for the second half of his game and saw her standing there in her cheerleading uniform laughing at a joke her friend Brooke had told.

Looks like somewhere along the way she learned to make a few friends.

He was lucky to call himself one of them.

Except this time he didn't look at her like he usually did. It was longer and content. Questions he never asked himself began to form and he quickly shook them away. He was way too young for those thoughts and wouldn't be ready for those for another few years. But he couldn't help but think them.

Her curls got blonder and her eyes brighten. Her legs seemed longer and she just seemed happy.

As he played he watched from the corner of his eye as she did as little cheering as she could. He could tell she wasn't into it. He knew why she did it though. For Brooke and for her mom and he kind of liked that about her. How she was willing to put aside the things she wants to do for the things her friends want to do.

He watched as she made fun of Brooke with her mom, who was seated in the first row, about how Brooke was so into this whole scene and he couldn't help but laugh at how she just didn't care. About any of this. But she still did it because she wanted to.

Somewhere in the game he missed his first shot of the night and his father, the coach, wasn't happy. He sat on the bench as his punishment. Dan honestly thought it was a real punishment. Instead Nathan just threw winks in Peyton's direction.

"Peyton!" Brooke grabbed her focus.

"Yeah?"

"Will you quit smiling at Scott and cheer! We all know you have a crush, but please save it for later."

"Brooke!" Peyton yelled appalled by her friend's assumption. But she didn't deny it. Nathan was cute and she might have had a crush on him since he shared his lunch with her.

Nathan was soon but back in, because lets face, he was the team. He was a different person when playing the game. He was cocky and arrogant and he let everyone know he was good. He especially let his brother know. Nothing felt better than showing off in front of his brother. He hated him. For a reason that didn't make sense, but sometimes you don't need a reason to hate someone. It was something about his father and his mother and Lucas' mom and he didn't necessarily like the way he kept looking at Peyton.

Nobody, and he means nobody, looks at Peyton like that.

And that was why it was even more fun to win the game. To prove to Lucas why he was so much better.

Because he was better.

Because he had Peyton.

He was on his way out of the gym when he heard his name being called. His father had long ago left, leaving him and his mom to celebrate his win. The blonde ran up behind him and smiled when she reached him.

"Good game." She said.

"Thanks."

Her mom caught up to her and the two adults made small talk as Peyton shifted nervously on the heel of her feet. He could only stare at her trying to find something to say. But couldn't.

His mom soon told him it was time to go and he really didn't want to.

"Mom," He looked up to her, "can Peyton come with us to get ice cream?" Deb looked from her son to Peyton to Anna seeing if it was okay with her. "Do you want to?" He asked, this time to Peyton.

She looked up to her mom with pleading eyes. She really wanted to go. Anna nodded. "Sure."

Peyton hugged her mom good-bye and was soon off with Nathan and Deb. Anna knew her little girl had a crush on the boy and she knew that Nathan had one on her to.

They hopped in his mom's car and buckled their seat belts. They talked about school and friends and anything that came to mind. They were eight and they had known each other for what seemed like forever to them. They were just friends and never dreamed of becoming anything else.

But in his mind, Nathan liked to think of this as their first date.

**

Her mom died when she was nine.

She ran one red light and _poof_, she was gone.

Nathan sat next to her in the pew. He shouldn't have been there, but he didn't like the fact that she was only sitting beside her dad. She was holding in tears and he could tell she was still in shock that her mom was really gone. It hadn't hit her yet. Somewhere deep down he knew he'd be there when it did.

But for now he sat here, in a church, next to his friend, just waiting for that moment to come. She kept her eyes on the floor and he kept his everywhere but the coffin at the front of the church. He wasn't too fond of dead bodies. But he was here for Peyton and he'd probably face flesh eating zombies for her.

He looked over at her once during the preacher's speech at her watery eyes and he could tell she wanted to cry so bad but not here in front of so many people. It was expected of her to cry, but she was stubborn and didn't do things like everyone else. They both knew it'd be easier if she just let it all out now, but she just wouldn't.

For a reason he'll never be able to explain he reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers. She didn't look him in the eye, she just looked at his hand in hers. She didn't smile or clutch his hand harder. They each sat there and waited for it all to be over.

He'd never seen a coffin be buried before. And he wasn't sure he wanted to. It meant that they were really gone and wouldn't be coming back. He didn't know Anna very well, but Peyton loved her with every bone in her body and so she meant something to Nathan.

But he couldn't stand here and watch her leave this earth.

And apparently neither could Peyton.

He looked around for her and she was nowhere in sight. Her father stood alone and Brooke stood alone in her own little world and there was no head of curls in the crowd of people. He looked up to his mom, who had come to know Anna very well, and told her that he was going to find Peyton. She didn't dare fight him on it.

"Friend of yours?" He said once he found her leaning against the tombstone of a Robert Daniels far away from the rest of the people there to see someone else being buried. Her black dress was stretched over her knees and her hands gripped the grass hard. Her skin was red with frustration all except her knuckles. She was trying so hard not to cry and it made her want to cry even more.

She was really trying not to though.

She didn't answer him and didn't even bother to look up. She knew he was coming and saved him a spot beside her.

She kind of like how he always sought her out.

He sat down beside her, his back against the stone also, and he again took her hand in his. This time she tighten her grip. They sat like that for awhile, they didn't really care if anyone saw. Her head fell on his shoulder and when his back ached to move he didn't. There was no way he was leaving her.

"It's hard." She said into his suit. He's really not sure what she meant by that statement. Whether it was seeing her mother being buried or life itself. Probably both.

"I know." He said looking down into her eyes. She was broken and he might not be able to fix it. He was concerned and wanted to make sure she was going to be okay.

She saw his broken exterior and wondered if he's cried about this yet. If he would look back on this ten years from now and just cry like she knew she would. Maybe. Maybe not.

"It's okay."

Two words. Two words he said that gave her hope that it really would be. They were simple, and naked, and real. It didn't seem like it, but deep down she knew. It'd be awhile and there would be a lot of dark days. But in the end they both knew he'd be there. He was letting her know its okay to cry and be vulnerable even though he knew she hated to be. That he was going to make she was alright in the end and that he would always be there at the end of the day for that reason only.

And in that moment she let go.

She cried in front of him. Really cried. It was the first time she's ever cried in front of him. The kind she had been waiting to do for days. The kind she should have done in the hospital at her mother's bedside. But it was here with Nathan. With him holding her hand and telling her everything would be okay. She cried because it needed to be done. She cried because Nathan told her it was okay to.

In that moment she realized how much she trusted him.

**

She was twelve when he kissed her.

She came over one night to watch a movie while his parents were out for the night. She wasn't supposed to be there, but neither has ever been known to follow the rules.

They'd grown accustomed to the other. He was her rock and found that she needed him more than she liked to admit. He realized that she was the only one who knew the real Nathan Scott and that if he could, he'd spend every waking moment with her.

It was a Saturday night and they probably should have been with their other friends, but they'd either be here with each other. In his house, on his couch, with no parents in sight. There was a certain scene that just made her heart flutter. It made Nathan want to puke.

"That's gross." Nathan stated when the main actor kissed 'his' girl.

"It's romantic." She insisted. She knows he hates these kinds of movies and he's pretty sure she picks them out just for that reason. "I hope a guy kisses me like that one day."

"Make sure his breath doesn't stink." She swatted his chest, not impressed by his joke. "What? I'm just saying if you want it to be 'romantic'," He mimicked like a girl, "then you better make sure you both have nice breath. Otherwise it _will_ be gross."

"Since when did you become such an expert on kissing?" She smirked.

"Since I realized I'm a genius." He said with that smirk.

"Dude you can barely pass sixth grade math." She laughed.

"First off," he started holding up his index finger, "don't call me dude. And secondly, I thought we were to never talk about that."

She laughed. "Okay, okay I'm sorry."

"Good."

They settled back into the movie and watched quietly until it was over. It was late when it was over and she made her way to the door to leave. She reached for the knob and before she could even touch it he was pulling her back and planting his lips on her.

The only reaction she could have was to kiss back. She settled into his arms and they just felt right together. His lips were soft and great in every way imaginable. He loved the way she tasted like strawberries and smelled of coconuts.

He pulled away and for no reason at all they were both panting like they had just ran a marathon.

"Why'd you do that?" She asked.

He shrugged, not really sure himself. "I brushed my teeth this morning." He wanted to say that he wanted to be her first, but he didn't. He was glad he was though and not some jerk that didn't deserve her and he was especially happy she was his first.

She walked home that night wanting more of his minty breath.

**

He was thirteen when he first stayed the night with her.

He walked into her room and found her on her bed drawing listening to some band he'd never heard of but said he liked because it made Peyton happy. Typical Peyton. This is how he always found her. Black sweatpants with a different color tank top. He wouldn't tell her, but she looked hot in that get up. She looked amazing in anything.

"Shouldn't you lock your door?" He asked, making his presence known.

She looked up from her drawing, smiled, and shrugged. That was always her answer when he asked that question. He didn't like the idea of people being able to walk in and out of the house whenever, but he'd never fight her on it. She was Peyton. You don't fight with Peyton.

"Where's your dad?" He asked sitting down on the edge of her bed. It was about as far as he'd ever gotten on her bed.

"He had a job in the Gulf." She said, not looking up from her drawing as if it was nothing. He knew she hated when her dad left. He knew because he was the only she ever told that to. She just let everyone believe that she loved to be alone, but things got lonely. That's what Nathan was for.

They stayed like that for awhile. She continued to draw and he sat and watched like he usually did. With them they didn't need words to fill silence. They were perfectly okay with just the presence of the other.

After her mother's funeral, Nathan became the go to guy for Peyton. He was the only one that understood what she was going through even though he had no idea. She only cried in front of him and Brooke. And since her dad started working more, Nathan took that role as the protective guy in her life.

Sometimes he would come over and they would sit like this and on a good night he'd paint her toenails and listen to the music she insisted was great. He'd never admit it but it was pretty good. She'd draw and he'd watch or do homework that he should have done earlier. When she was done they'd talk.

They never talked about that kiss.

But tonight he couldn't wait for her to be done.

Nathan got up and began searching through her many albums. Peyton couldn't help but glanced over at him. She knew he was holding something in and was trying to avoid it. He never looked through her albums because he hated them. He never came over this late on a school night and he never sighed for attention.

But she didn't push him for information. Eventually he'd tell her. That was there relationship. They would sit and wait for the other as long as they needed. So she went back to her drawing and he continued to push whatever it was out of his mind.

He stopped instantly a few minutes later, not able to hold this piece of information in any longer. He turned to her and she had that knowing grin on her face and he loved how she just knew.

"My mom left." He said simply.

She looked up, not expected that kind of confession, and gently put the sketchpad on her bedside table before looking up to him with sorry eyes.

"Apparently she was having an affair. Her and my dad got into a fight this morning and…she just left." He said looking away from her to the colors on her wall.

"I'm sorry Nathan." She said even though he didn't want to hear it. But it felt nice when she said it.

He shrugged and tried not to dwell on it. "Dan thinks he can make everything better by pushing basketball on me. I'm supposed to be shooting fifty free throws right now." They chuckled because just now Peyton realized he was in basketballs shorts and a jacket. She hated how Dan was so into this game like he was the one still playing it. She hated how he lived his dream through Nathan.

She offered him the spot next to her and he didn't dare give it up. She curled up into his side and his arm stretched around her and rested on her shoulder.

"Parents suck." She said after awhile.

"Yeah." He whispered. The statement couldn't be truer. Her father was out at sea somewhere and was rarely home anymore. His mom just disgraced this family and left her only son with the devil. And his father? Well his father was the devil. Parents suck.

She soon sat up to meet his eyes and he wasn't exactly sure what she was about to do.

"Let's make a promise that we'll never be like our parents."

He sat up quickly, liking the idea. "Okay." He nodded. "We'll never be like our parents."

"Pinky promise?" She held up her tiny finger, kinking her brow.

He smiled and hooked his pinky with hers. "Pinky promise."

They rested back into the others arms and just laid there until the other moved. She fell asleep eventually and he saw it as his cue to leave. When he tried to unwrap her arms around him she just griped tighter. He laughed and settled back down beside her.

Everything he came here for disappeared when he saw the smile she had in her sleep. Soon he fell asleep and his worries of Dan and his mom and basketball slipped away when she inched closer and closer to him.

They made a promise that they wouldn't be like their parents.

He liked the idea of being a parent with her.

He wasn't sure that was what she meant.

**

They were sixteen when they realized how much time had passed. Neither had made a move on the other and neither one was sure if it was because they had no feelings for the other or if it was just nerves. Either way they stayed friends. And nothing more.

He hadn't seen his mom in three years, so he thought it was time to get out there in the dating world and find someone that could fill that void. He didn't know she was sitting in her red bedroom. He became the playboy at such a young age and he liked it. The attention and the praise he got from women. It felt great. Something he wanted to feel in the future.

But when he needed to come back to earth, Peyton was always there. He was king at school, but she didn't treat him like one. She didn't care if he was the star of the team. To her, he was just plain ol' Nathan Scott who used to embarrass himself to make her laugh on a daily bases. He became a guy that she didn't necessarily like. But with the pressure Dan put on him she kind of understood. She made him promise one night that he would never treat her the way he treats other women and the other kids at school and if he did he would regret it.

He didn't dare break that promise. He never planned to and never would.

He spent the night at her house more than his own. They'd stay up and talk about things that were way out of their limit. He would talk about life with no basketball and she'd think about life with her mom. They never told anybody about that.

"Do you ever think about getting married?" She asked one night while they sat on her front porch. They each had a mug of hot chocolate in hand and they shared a blanket as they swung back and forth on her porch swing.

His head shot to the side and the look of shock took over.

"Not like that." She laughed swatting his chest. He let out a nervous laugh to cover up. "I mean like…in the future. What she'll look like and where it will be and where you'll go on your honeymoon."

"And if you'll have a family." He finished for her.

"Yeah."

He nodded and took a sip of his mug. He'd thought about it. Who his wife would be, where they would go, where it would be, if they'll have a family. In his mind, his wife was Peyton, where they lived was together, and they had so many green eyed blonde haired kids around.

"What about you?" He asked.

"Yeah. Sometimes." She said quietly. In her mind, her husband was Nathan, where they lived was right here in Tree Hill, and she loved the idea of raven haired kids with his blue eyes. "You want to hear a secret?" She asked wondering why she was bringing this up. But he nodded. "When I was little I used to think me and you would get married."

His heart fluttered at that. Because he used to think that to. Still does. But she said when she was little, meaning she didn't feel that anymore.

Maybe they weren't meant to be together. Maybe they should just stay friends. He wanted her to be happy and she did him. Even if that meant being with someone else.

But she still thought she'd marry Nathan Scott.

He knew he'd marry Peyton Sawyer.

**

He just found he was going to Duke.

Peyton was the first person he told.

Not Dan or his mom or his coach. Just Peyton. He felt she would be more excited about it. And she was. She jumped up and down and squealed in a way he'd never seen her do.

And then she kissed his cheek.

It felt like it did all those years ago at his house. But better. Just a simple kiss on the cheek. But it wasn't _just_ a kiss. He realized he loved her in that one kiss. It meant everything to him to see her so excited for him.

A few weeks later she found out she got the internship of a lifetime at a record label.

In L.A.

Nathan was the last person she told. It meant there was no more time they could spend together. It meant they were supposed to grow up and move away and worry about money and things that weren't important to them right now. It meant they were adults and they just wanted to be kids.

He didn't like the idea of her being in L.A. all by herself, but he knew if anyone could do it Peyton could. But he was still going to miss his friend.

She left the day after graduation. He wouldn't be able to understand why. She just told him it was for the best. She didn't want to spend the entire summer counting down the days she has left with him. Though she kind of did that anyway with her last days in school.

He went with her to the airport and said his good-byes. They tried to make it short and to not cry, but they were best friends and couldn't help it. She'd never seen him cry before and wasn't sure if she could count that single tear as crying.

But it was cute.

He bought her a coffee and sat with her until her plane was called. It was silence mostly. They stayed away from talking about L.A. and Duke and the future itself.

Mostly because they wouldn't be together in it.

Her flight number was called and they both stood to do the inevitably. "Knock em' dead out there Sawyer." He said wrapping his strong arms around her.

"I will." She muttered into his black tee shirt. "And you don't go breaking too many records up at Duke, okay?"

"Deal."

She grabbed her carry-on and made her way to the gate. She turned back once and gave a small wave and he returned it with a smile. He couldn't help but notice the sway of her hips and the way her hair just bounced as she walked away from him. His face showed his every emotion watching her go.

He was losing his best friend.

Maybe something that could have been more.

"Hey Peyton!" He called after her when she was next in line. He wasn't ten feet away but still he yelled. But he wanted the world to know what he was about to say. "I love you."

She smiled and he swore there was a tear in her eye. It was the thing she had waited for him to say for years. Sure they had said it before, but only in that friend way. Only when they were hanging up the phone or going home or leaving for a vacation. Never just to say it. But she was leaving now. It wasn't a vacation. Now he didn't know when she was coming back…or if she would. And this time he said it with passion, like he really meant it and desperation (the good kind) that he didn't want her to leave.

He said it like it was supposed to solve all their problems.

She choked up and almost couldn't form the words, though she'd been trying to for years. "I love you too." He saw that single tear in her eye and it killed him that he couldn't move his damn feet over to her and wipe it away. He swears if he could have moved closer to her he would have kissed her. Really kissed. The kind he'd been dying to do for years.

But he couldn't move.

He'd spent most of his life waiting for Peyton to make the first move when he could have done it all along. Every night he went to bed promising himself tomorrow would be it, but he always chickened out the last minute.

He couldn't understand how this one girl had this spell over him that made him go haywire every time she was near. He loved Peyton, but he convinced himself it was friend love. Nothing more. Until now. Until he saw her about to get on that plane and walk out of his life. He made the first move.

Just at the wrong time.

**

She met Julian about six months after moving to L.A.

She had some sort of a breakdown and she couldn't get a hold of Nathan. It was something about missing home…and her best friend. And that announcement of love they had had in the airport. Honestly she was calling him to tell him that she loved him and that things weren't working out in L.A. If he would have answered the phone and asked her to come back she most likely would have.

But he didn't answer. And she sort of hated him for that.

Then Julian walked in and told her to open up and fix the problem. And she smiled and a few weeks later he was calling her his girlfriend.

And she was calling him her boyfriend.

He was a big time movie producer that could melt her heart with cheesy speeches and that smirk. It was probably the first time she didn't call Nathan with her exciting news. And she felt both sad and happy that she could do that.

Julian swept her off her feet and treated her like no other guy.

He was a lot like Nathan. Confident in what he did, never hid the fact that he was better than most people in his business, and that grin that couldn't keep her mad at him for long.

She fell in love with him quick and didn't dare hide it.

She might have been hiding her heart in someone else or it could really be true love. She wasn't really sure and she never questioned.

All she knew was that Julian treated her right and when he asked her to move in with him she couldn't help but say yes.

**

She came home that first Christmas. She flew in somewhere near Duke. He picked her up at the airport of course and they drove back to Tree Hill.

It felt good.

Lots of time had passed, but when she saw those blue eyes it felt like nothing had come between them. He wrapped his arms around her small frame in the middle of the airport and she couldn't help but have the biggest smile he'd ever seen.

They drove back in silence most of the way with Peyton controlling the radio and Nathan telling her her music sucked (even though he kind of liked it). They didn't talk about big things yet, especially the time that had passed since he basically told her to be with him. For this drive they were just two friends coming home for the holidays.

"So where's Julian?" He asked once over the music as he drove down the interstate. She busted out laughing when he said his name in a girly voice that he defiantly couldn't pull off. He laughed along with her, but didn't necessarily like the guy. Even though they'd never met.

"He's spending Christmas with his family."

"Jerk." She heard him mutter.

"Hey!" She swatted his chest. "We all can't have screwed up families that don't care about holidays like we do." He couldn't agree more.

After dropping Peyton off at her house he went to see his mom for the first time in God knows how long. He tried to make his visit as short as possible. They still hadn't found a common ground yet and he didn't really care if they did. It almost frightened him when the thought of him being more excited to see his father more than his mother came to mind.

Dan was typical. He told Nathan what he was doing wrong in college and how he could be better if he applied himself. Apparently running two-a-days and running till you puked wasn't good enough for the great Dan Scott.

Larry couldn't make it back in time due to some storm out at sea. But he called with his usual _'I wish I could be there'_ speech. It didn't surprise her much. He'd been missing important events in her life since she was thirteen. Why should this be any different?

Nathan was sitting on her porch when she came home from seeing her mom. She forgot how he was always there for her. It was weird to have that because in L.A. you were pretty much alone. At least she was.

"Hey," she said grabbing his attention, "how long you been out here?"

He shrugged it off. "A few minutes. You know how Dan gets." She hates how he calls his father by his first name. She understood why, but she couldn't ever imagine hating her father enough to do that to him. "Where've you been?"

"I went to see my mom." She said sitting down next to him. It was cold, but neither cared. Her arm brushed against his and she shivered at the simple touch. He wrapped his arm around her slim shoulders to keep her warm.

"I would have gone with you." He says sincerely and she believes him because she knows he would and he wouldn't lie about it. He really doesn't like her going through that alone.

"I know." Is all she needs to say.

"So." He says after awhile. He looks over with his classic Nathan Scott smirk and asks, "Tell me all about L.A."

So she does.

She tells him about her job and how much she loves it, but hates being the assistant to the assistant. But it beats working in the mail room. She tells him about how much she hates her boss and how things are so much different there. How things are about money and not music. He knew she especially hated that and could rant about that one subject for hours. But for his sake she doesn't. She even mentions Julian a few times but doesn't dwell into it. She goes on to tell him about all the work she put into decorating her apartment just so it could feel some what like home. "It never could though."

"What?" He asks. He didn't space out. He just wanted to know exactly what she meant.

"Feel like home." He smiles because she's right. "What about you? How's college, superstar?"

He tells her about his life and how much different it is from high school. How it was hard to have people look at him like a normal person and not the star of the team. She told to wait a few years and people will look at him again. He believed her. He told her about the parties and the whole social scene that he wasn't really into anymore. And the fact that he now cared more about school work than getting laid. Which, to be honest, shocked Peyton. He steered cleared of Dan and his mom because he didn't want to get her into that conversation and he didn't want to get into it either.

"Things have changed, huh?" She asked looked up to the clear black sky.

"Yeah." He said following her gaze.

They sat like that for a little bit. The cold was the last of their worries. She wondered if he could hear the rapid speed her heart was moving or felt how his arm around her raised her temperature ten degrees. She always felt safe in his arms.

When he would stay the night they always woke up in each others arms. It wasn't in an awkward way, just two friends sharing a bed is how they always put it (not that they ever told anyone).

She looked over at him once during that night and asked the one question he'd been asking himself for years. "You ever wonder why we never got together."

He shrugged like no big deal, but inside his heart was racing. "Yeah sometimes. Why?"

She shrugged too, thinking of a good enough answer that didn't sound lame. "I don't know. I just guess since we were best friends it was kind of inevitable. I think everyone thought we would get together."

"Did you…ever want to get together?" He asked nervously.

She thought long and hard on that question. She didn't want to blurt out with a yes, but didn't want to seem like she never wanted to. "I don't know. Sometimes." Most times. "I guess I used to walk among those people that thought we would."

"But…" He urged on.

He chuckled at how well he knew her. "But…I met Julian." His face fell. He never expected that answer. "And he turned my world around." She gave him small smile. To both her and Nathan it wasn't so convincing.

"Good for you Peyton." It took a lot of him to say that to her because he didn't honestly mean it. If he could go back to two, three years ago and know how things could be so much different and just be with her. That'd probably make his life.

She wasn't too convinced by his sincere words and she was positive he didn't mean them. In fact she was sure he had a thing for her. She was certain she still had one for him to.

That's why it was even harder to lie to him.

**

He hasn't seen her since Christmas and hasn't gotten a phone call in six months.

It didn't worry him. He knew she was busy with work and…Julian. And he was busy with basketball and school work. They just didn't have time for each other anymore. This was life and not a lot of people are still friends with who they were in high school.

You grow up and move away and you never see them anymore.

But he never expected that to happen with Peyton. He kind of always hoped she'd come to her senses about L.A. And come home and go to Duke with him. Sometimes he still hoped that.

But not lately.

Lately he really hasn't thought about her. One day he went the entire day without thinking about her and he didn't even realize it until he saw that picture of her on his dresser. It was weird at first, not having Peyton in his life. Then it became natural. He didn't think about her often and didn't wait by the phone for her promised call that never came.

Sometimes, late at night, in a moment of weakness, he'd Google her. Not in that weird stalker way, but just to see what she was up. He'd go to her work's website and her name would be under a band she found that her company just signed. He was happy she was doing what she had always wanted. It felt strange. Two best friends had to find out what was going on in their lives by looking them up online. It was sad and pathetic. But he couldn't pick the phone and ask her what was going on her life.

He thinks he's let go of her.

He can't help but wonder how long ago it was when she let go of him.

**

Julian became her Nathan.

He wasn't into sports or hard labor. He wasn't super strong or any kind of superman like Nathan was. But he was sweet and took his time when it came to Peyton. She thinks that's why she hasn't called him in almost eight months.

Plus she's busy and she knows he is to. She's probably the reason they haven't talked in so long, but a phone goes both ways.

Ever since she told him they could have been together, it's felt awkward. And that's never been a problem in their friendship. But with that naked truth sitting right in front of them. It got hard.

She kept up with his stats online and heard he was going to start next year and she couldn't be more proud of him. But she couldn't pick up the phone and tell him.

She wanted to go back to high school and be a kid again. She didn't want to worry about stuck-up bands and money and bills or anything grown-up for that matter.

She wanted to be on her front porch with Nathan and a cup of tea in her hand. She wanted to laugh again. Like really laugh. And go for a ride in her old comet that she left behind in the town she couldn't bring herself to face.

She was sitting in bed one night, thinking of all of these things and wondering if maybe coming here was a horrible decision. She loved L.A. But it wasn't home. She loved her job, but hated it more. She loved Julian, but he wasn't Nathan. Nothing made sense anymore. She thinks nothing ever did.

Julian came in, kicked off his pajamas, only in his boxers, and snuggled up next to her. He saw the worried look on her face and couldn't not ask.

"Where's your mind at Peyton?"

Her mind was in a different world.

Her heart was in Tree Hill.

**

They were twenty- two and were in their last year of college when he met Haley James.

Nathan got married a few months later.

As for Nathan, it came as a shock when Haley walked into his life. He just needed some help in school. He never expected to fall in love with his tutor. But he did. And he thought it was for the best. Only one other girl could bring out the best in him.

But if it wasn't for Haley, he wouldn't have gotten to know his brother or realized this whole other world that didn't involve basketball. She made him laugh and didn't put up with his bull. She was sarcastic and witty, beautiful in a way she didn't realize.

She was a lot like Peyton.

He never expected to be married right after college. People would think he was crazy and so did he. But Haley kept him sane.

It was a spur of the moment and he didn't expect her to say yes. But she did and he couldn't have been happier. It was only her parents and them on the beach as their ceremony. He hated that Peyton wasn't there to see it or that he didn't even tell her. He told her everything for years, but now it was Haley he was running to with secrets.

"Word around town that my best friend got married last night." He was unpacking boxes in his apartment when he heard her voice. Of course he smiled; he always did when he saw her walking his way. But he didn't expect to be seeing her. She hadn't been back to visit in a few years and he was beginning to think she was never coming back. "Thanks for the invitation." She walked further into the room and to the counter where he was.

"We didn't want a big ceremony." He simply said. "And you haven't exactly been in touch either." He smirked.

"If I said I've been busy would you believe me?" She questioned with a grin. "I understand. Congratulations Nathan." She said a little less enthusiastic than he wanted.

"Thanks." He said looking over at her. "What are you doing here?" He asked remembering it's been a few years since he's last seen his best friend. Yes he said best friend. So they haven't talked in a few years. No one could replace the other. They didn't try to find someone else to try.

"I'm here on business and I kind of missed my best friend." She smiled widely. He loved how she called him that.

She wasn't really here on business, well sort of, things weren't going great with Julian and she just needed to get away for awhile. She didn't understand why she was on the next flight out to Tree Hill. Being here brought back memories, mostly of Nathan.

She expected him to be here, waiting for her, but when Brooke called saying he got married her heart really did break. She _felt_ it shatter. Maybe it was her fault. For leading him on and then telling him she _used_ to want to be with him but not anymore. And then leaving for four years wasn't the greatest of ideas either.

He could always read her like a book. She didn't like this, him being married. He wasn't sure if it was because he didn't tell her or because of whom he was with. Probably the latter. Ever since she told him he was the guy she imagined marrying, the thought alone couldn't escape him. "It's good to see you." He said finally standing to give her a hug.

"You too." She hugged back. It was longer than what should have been, but he missed that coconut smell in her hair and she couldn't believe she went four years without that cologne.

"How are you?" He asked seeing the empty look in her eyes. "How's Julian?" He politely asked, without gritted his teeth. She knew it was hard for him to ask.

"Julian's fine." She lied. "I'm fine." She lied. "We're great." She lied thinking she's never lied to him so much in less than in a minute. In fact she's never lied to him. She knew he didn't buy it, but Nathan didn't push her on it. And she remembers again why she's loved him all these years. He knew if she needed to talk he'd be the first she came to. At least he hoped so. "Do you ever imagine it differently? Your life?" She asked randomly.

"Yeah. Sometimes." He nodded. He used to imagine his life with Peyton, but he wouldn't ever tell her that. "What about you?" She smiled and nodded. He always found that kind of cute.

"We've been friends for a long time haven't we?" She said looking through the box in front of him and pulling out a picture of the two of them when they were twelve. It was his birthday and at his house. They were standing in front of his pool, him in black boardshorts and her in a red two piece. Brooke could be seen in the background flirting with some guy in typical Brooke fashion. The smiles the two of them wore were childish and they had no idea about this big world that seemed so small to them at the time.

He took the picture from her and stared at it himself. "It's been forever."

"Thanks Nate."

"For what?" He asked her, throwing the picture back into the box.

"For just being there. I don't think I could have gotten through it without you. I mean with my mom and dad and living out there in L.A."

"Sure you could. You did most of it by yourself. I was just standing next to you." He said confidently. He knew she could. Peyton Sawyer was a fighter. She could and would do everything, anything. "Can I tell you a secret Peyt?"

She nodded.

"Sometimes I can't help but doubt myself. If I…if what I'm doing is right. If continuing basketball is what's right for me. If going to Duke was the best fit for me." There was a pause as he contemplated his next statement. "If marrying Haley was my best decision ever." He looked up from his box of stuff to Peyton and she did everything in her power to not look hopeful. He couldn't believe what he just said. He's not sure if marrying his wife was the best decision he's ever made. He didn't really doubt it until he saw her blonde curls walking his way.

She tried to search her mind for something to say. She wanted to tell to forget about Haley and be with her. She wanted to yell from the rooftops that she loved him. But he didn't love Peyton; he told himself he loved Haley.

"It'll all work out Nate." She shrugged. "Just follow your heart." She said so hopeful. In the end she hoped his heart led him to her. It could probably, but like he was for her over the years, she'd be there. Waiting for him.

He nodded wondering exactly where his heart was leading him.

"I better get going." She announced standing from her chair. "Leave you to unpack."

"Thanks for the help." He joked.

She threw a wave his way before disappearing behind the door and things got quiet from there.

He looked down into the box of his childhood possessions he had had for awhile now. There were things in there that meant a lot to him. His first basketball jersey. The concert ticket he and Peyton lied to their parents about going to. Pictures of him playing basketball and his first really great report card.

The picture Peyton threw away in kindergarten that he just so happened to pick up.

The one she said wasn't any good.

He stared at the assortment of different colors on the paper. He held it delicately, like gold. She said it wasn't, but he thought, and still did think, it was the greatest piece of artwork he'd ever seen.

The thoughts of them as kids came rushing back to him. Like they do every morning when he wakes up. The times spent in her bedroom and on her front porch. Basketball games when she's cheering for him. The time he kisses her and when he stays the night at her house for the first time…and all the others after that. When she's pissed off for no reason and only he can cheer her up. When she tells stupid jokes and makes snide comments about everything there could possibly be.

It's all there. Everything. In that one picture. It was drawn before a friendship even started, but he thinks that she knew, way before she even knew him, that they were going to be…something. Everything. It's there. In a picture a six year old Peyton drew and threw away.

It's kind of ironic, but he loves it and cherishes it all the same.

He loves her and it hits him now like it did years ago in the airport. He's avoided it and let her lie to herself about being happy because…he doesn't really know why. He feels like he's the only one who can make her happy. And he feels like he let her down. The day her mom died, he made a promise that he'd be there. That nothing like time, space, or romance, come between them. But it did.

All of it did.

She trusted him. And now it just hurts.

He looks from the picture to the now empty doorway. There was no sight of the curly blonde. He's thought it before, but this time he doesn't think he'll ever see Peyton Sawyer again. And it tore his heart apart. He believes she's gone for good and that this is it.

He thinks he chose the wrong girl to marry.


	2. Chapter 2

SO I know this was originally intended to be a Oneshot, but a lot of you wanted another chapter and so I figured I couldn't just let Pathan **NOT** be together. So I'm making this into a 3-chapter story (4 if you're lucky). I know it's been a while, so going back and re-reading would be a good thing to do probably. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

His marriage is crumpling. His career has vanished. He's lucky to be walking.

"_You don't get it, do you?" He said turning around in his seat. "I used to be somebody. Haley, do you understand that? Do you understand what that means? I used to be Nathan Scott and I was great. I should've walked away, OK? I know that. And I didn't do it. And now I'm nothing and I have…nothing!" He yells at her like she's just another stranger and it stabs her like knives. He doesn't think he's ever been so rude to somebody._

_And this is his wife._

_He can barely keep his eyes on her because he knows he's hit a sore spot. _

"_You have nothing?" Haley says with the saddest expression a person can wear. Nathan sees it and wishes he could get up and take it away. But then it's gone, and she's angry again. "You're friends are here. I am here. You have got to figure out who you're gonna be in this, Nathan, 'cause this version of you, does not work for us. I can not keep living like this, OK? Do you understand what I'm saying? One more night like this, Nathan, and I promise you…you will have nothing."_

Nathan watched as his wife walked away. He heard her footsteps upstairs and the door slamming. He watched as the seconds ticked away on the clock. He should have gone after her. He should have crawled up those stairs and apologized and told her he'd be better for her.

He should have, but he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. That alone should have been his first clue that maybe this wasn't what he expected their marriage would be like. He'd started to gather all these negatives about his and Haley's relationship. He couldn't help it, it just started. And there were a lot of negatives. Some positives, not many. It could be because they didn't get to enjoy that newlywed bliss for long. He had his accident and he turned into a completely different person than the one Haley married.

Or it could be that blonde head of curls.

Ever since he last saw Peyton, she's taken up everything his mind has had to offer.

He glances over to that trophy case in his living room. All the accomplishments he has sitting in front of him. Mocking him. It's all there on those shelves - his whole career. A career that was taken away because of a plate glass window. Of all the things that took his dream away from him and it was a window. He was literally seconds away from his dream and a damn window and a drunk took it all away.

It's his dream that's gone, his life, in one single breath. The doctors tell him he's lucky he has the ability to walk, but he can't force himself out of that chair and walk into that world without basketball. He can't bring himself to be happy without that.

Nathan woke up the next morning to an empty house and it all feels familiar. Haley's at work and he has a few hours until she's back. He's not really sure how to use his time nowadays. So he drinks mostly. His space is limited. It's mostly the living room, the pool, and anywhere else downstairs.

He's managed to wheel himself into the garage and is left with boxes and boxes of things that used to be. Childhood things that turned into precious memories that he can't let go. College things that he was using not too long ago. It hits him that his entire life is wrapped up in only a few boxes. Haley promised that once they got everything else settled then his things would go into his office. Then his accident happened and there was no use for an office or these things.

His mind tends to race as he's searching through those things. It surprises him more than he thought to see that Peyton is in every picture with him and everything in those boxes has something to do with that blonde. His heart beats just a little faster when he sees that old letterman jacket.

_He hated it when she heard her yell. He was a lucky guy that it wasn't him that she was directing her anger towards this time. But he didn't like that it was some jackasses causing it instead. _

"_Hey." Nathan said walking over to a flustered Peyton throwing books into her locker. He was wearing his new letterman jacket and she had to roll her eyes when she saw it. Ever since he got it he'd barely taken it off. She knew he was happy to be on varsity, but she didn't know he was this happy. "You okay?"_

"_Do I look okay?" She asked throwing another book into her locker._

"_Is that rhetorical question?" He arched his brow wearing that smirk that she hated to love. But she scowled at him and tried to find something to take her mind off jerks or guys in general. "What's wrong?"_

"_Them." She nodded over to the group of wrestlers that had been flirting with Peyton since she started her freshman year. "They think just because I'm single that I'm dying to go out with them."_

"_You want me to kick their ass." Nathan asked knowing fully well she didn't, but he really wanted to._

"_No. I just don't want to be some guy's property." She said. "Besides, I don't think Whitey would want you getting into fights before Friday." She nudged him._

_She was always Nathan's property. He'd just never tell her that._

_Nathan looked back to the group of guys that were now eyeing the two friends, and turned back to Peyton. "Here." He said taking off his jacket and handing it to her._

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Just take it." He waved it in front of her. "If they see you wearing it they'll think we're dating and they'll leave you alone."_

"_But we're not dating."_

_He shrugged, though it killed him to hear her say that. "They don't know that."_

_She smiled and took the jacket without further question and slipped it through each of her arms. He smiled too. She looked good in blue. Before he left, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. Later when she asked, he told her it was just to show off to the wrestlers._

_Really it was him pretending they were a real couple._

Peyton gave him back the jacket the next year when people started to learn that you don't mess with Nathan's friend. She told him it was because she could take care of herself. He knew better.

It still smelled like her in some old, faded way. He never put that jacket back on after she gave it back to him. It was no longer his, but hers. She just didn't know it.

Wait. What is he doing? Why is he doing this? He_ can't_ do this. He has a wife that isn't Peyton. A wife that loves him. That he loves. He can't sit here and fall for this girl all over again over a box of junk. He can't.

Can he?

--

He's been thinking a lot about their conversation last night. Or fight as most would call it. And…he's not really sure how to take it. Does he want his wife to be his wife or does he want to see her walk out that door?

All in all, he can't escape Peyton. His mind races back to her at any reminder of her. Her curly hair and striking green eyes filled with every emotion imaginable.

He wants his wife. He _wants_ Peyton. He can't have either.

Nathan hasn't heard from Peyton in almost six months. He was pretty sure the last time he saw her was the last he'd ever see her, but he didn't realize it'd be so hard to really let go of her. He had to wonder if she'd changed at all these last few months. He wondered if her hair still smelled of coconuts. Or if she still tucked a strand of hair behind her ear when she was nervous. He wondered if there was still that sarcastic side of her that went along with the sympathetic side she'd only pull out with him. The different emotions she had that he fell in love with more and more with each day.

He wondered if her number was still the same and if he should call her.

His foot trembled as it levitated only inches from the ground. He could see the phone across the room and he was determined, with those seven digits on his mind, to march (or stumble) over there and grab that phone.

As his other foot hit the ground there was no pain. He put it all to the back of his mind as he tried with every bit of strength he could muscle up to lift himself up out of that chair.

The sounds of the outside world didn't even reach him. All that was on his mind were those digits and that girl and that damn phone that seemed so far away.

"Nathan?"

His jerked up to see Haley standing in the archway of the kitchen completely shocked. It was the first time in four months that she'd seen him standing. He'd never tried until now. And seeing his wife standing there washed away all thoughts and hopes of the blonde girl he was originally standing for.

A smile appeared on her face, a real, genuine smile, before she ran over to him and planted her lips on his.

He didn't kiss back.

She was too excited to notice.

"Thank you." She said through muffled tears. He just hugged her back with no words to speak.

She thought he wasn't giving up. She thought this was a declaration of his love to her and their marriage. She thought this was their new beginning. If only she knew the truth.

He stayed put in that chair for a few more days before getting used to the cane. Every time he walked an extra step he told himself it was for Peyton.

--

She's trying to remember the exact moment she fell in love with him.

Was it when she was sixteen and she practically said she wanted to be with him or was it when she was nine at her mother's funeral and he held her hand the entire time? Or was it any other time that they had spent together? She couldn't pinpoint it. Maybe there wasn't an exact moment.

But she knew, deep down, in a way that she would never admit, that she was in love with Nathan Scott.

But it could never work. He was _married_ to Haley. And she just had a bad breakup with Julian and probably wasn't ready for a relationship. She was in L.A. and he was in Tree Hill. They couldn't be together. Not now, not ever. But, boy, did she want to be.

Even her apartment, though he's never seen it, has reminders of him. Pictures that she forced herself to hang up, letters that he'd sent that she knew was locked away in a drawer nearby. She couldn't bring herself to open it and read his words.

She just wanted him. Not his words or his pictures. He in full glory standing in front of her with his protective arms wrapped around her.

She's in this depth that can't climb out of. She finds these little things to get excited about when it needs to be the big things. Her job is too much for and she finds comfort in her artwork.

There's no trace of Julian in her apartment. All his clothes are gone and there are no pictures of him hung up or by her bedside. She thinks he never belonged on her wall or in her bed or in her life. He was just a figure that made her forget for a while. He was never supposed to be a permanent placement in her life. She fell in love with the man she wanted him to be instead of the guy he was.

She wanted him to be cocky about everything around them and sensitive when she was having a bad day. She wanted to have the ability to tell him everything. She wanted him to be her best friend.

She wanted him to be Nathan.

Los Angeles doesn't seem as appealing to her anymore as it did all those years ago. Maybe she really can't make it there. She can live with the crappy job and the fakes and busy lifestyles. But none of it has him. She needs her best friend. She needs more.

--

If it wasn't for Haley, Nathan would never consider Lucas as his brother. Now it's different.

Haley introduced them during one of their tutoring sessions. He sucked up his pride and played nice for a while. Eventually he realized that they had more in common than a deadbeat dad. He found out Lucas was a pretty good guy.

He was the only supporter of the Naley marriage even when he still thought Nathan was an ass. Lucas knew that if Haley thought he was great then he most likely was.

It should bother Nathan that Lucas is a bigger supporter of his marriage than he is.

Every since his wheelchair has been abandoned the house has been rough territory for him. Haley has been slyly and coyly asking questions about the future. _What's next? Basketball? Job? _And the truth is...Nathan knows what he wants; he just doesn't know if he can have it. Haley should know that and he can't help but think that Peyton would know. And she would never ask any other questions.

"Couldn't stay away, huh?"

The voice drags him back to reality and for a split second he hates them for that. But it's Lucas and you can't really hate this guy for long.

He's wearing jeans and one those v-neck shirts he's become attracted to lately and Nathan knows he's not staying for long. That same smirk he used to wear is the one Lucas is wearing and he doesn't want to rain on this happy parade that he's clearly on, but he can't hide the frown he's wearing.

"I guess not." Nathan gives a small smile and glances back up to the goal. The Rivercourt has never been his place. It was always Lucas'. But now he understands why he comes here. In some strange way it's magical. It doesn't hold any special powers or mystical hold, but it's the kind of place that just feels right. The concrete beneath his feet and the river to his left is comforting in some strange way.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas asks.

Nathan shrugs clutching his cane tighter. He doesn't know why he's here. It's the only place that came to mind when he wanted to get away from Haley. He can't believe how much of an ass he sounds like.

"Things not good at home?" Lucas continues to question.

"Like I'm really going to tell you." Nathan scoffs.

"Come on, man, we're brothers."

"But you've been best friends with my wife longer."

"Then I take that as a no then." Lucas smirks walking over to his brother. "What's going on?"

Nathan shakes his head, wondering where to start. "It's everything." He shakes under the pressure his brother is giving him. Nathan doesn't want to tell Lucas about his feelings against Haley. It's not really the brightest of ideas, but his best friend isn't here. "Haley's just…dying to know what's next. You know? I just got out of the chair and she's already thinking about what I'm going to do next."

"Well what are you gonna do next?"

Nathan meets his brother's matching blue eyes and he almost hates him for asking the question. "I don't know." He feels like he doesn't have to answer that question just yet. He just got out of the chair for Christ sakes. Why does he have to figure out his entire life right at this moment? "I don't know if I'll ever play again, Luke." He admits quietly.

Lucas just nods and takes a step closer to his brother. Nathan's not sure if that's a good thing or not. He wants to hear _sure you will_ or _I believe in you_, but he doesn't get any of that. All he gets is a nod and he's not sure how to take that.

He decides to ignore it and lock it away in this place where lately he's been putting a lot of his complaints. "What're you doing here, Luke?" Nathan asks because he realizes he still doesn't know why he's here.

"I came too say bye." Nathan shoots him a questioning look and Lucas has to smirk. "I'm starting my book tour today. Heading off to Chicago."

"Oh." Nathan said. He'd completely forgot about Lucas and his book and it being published. Most important, lately, he'd really hadn't cared. "When will you be back?"

Lucas shrugs. "A few weeks. I just wanted to say bye before I left."

"Well, good luck, man."

"Thanks."

They don't hug or actually say goodbye. They think they're not supposed to since their 'men'. Lucas just turns away and gets back into that old mustang he's had since high school. And Nathan just stands there, gripping his cane, watching as his brother's dreams come true as his fall apart.

--

Her name just came so easy to him. _Peyton_. It seemed to just roll off his tongue. Her number was something he just knew. He memorized it every time she got a new one. They were really the only seven numbers he's ever remembered.

With Haley, her name didn't come quite as easy to him. It seemed forced and he'd always push back that bad taste in his mouth. He's wanted more than anything to have that head over heels, long stares, romantic nights with Haley. They never came. He never had a relationship with Peyton, but it was all there. And as he looks back on them now he has to think that maybe they still should be.

"Haley?" Nathan calls out for his wife as he looks through boxes and boxes for a certain slip of paper. "Haley!"

"Yeah?" She says walking into the garage washing off her hands with a dishtowel.

"Have you seen Peyton's address? I had it written down on a piece of paper and I can't find it. I think it's in one of these boxes." He says sifting through a box with his free hand.

"Why do you need it?"

"I want to send her a thank you card. You know for the flowers she sent after the accident." He says ignoring the look his wife is shooting him.

Haley's not stupid. She knows these two friends used to have a thing for the other. She knows all about their history and how close they are or used to be. She'd be lying if she said it didn't bother her. She had never told Nathan that and he never bothered to ask. It was just something they both pushed aside.

"I…don't know." She lies. She knows exactly where it is. And it seems a bit bitchy to hide something like his best friend from him. But that friend is Peyton and she knows, along with this whole town, that it's never been just Nathan and Peyton.

"Oh well." He says moving away from the boxes and shooting his wife a smile. "I guess I'll just call her."

"Nathan." Haley says rather quickly. She needs to distract him. Have him do something other than call _her_. "I could really use your help in the kitchen. Please, like old times." She throws in that little smile she has using those big doe eyes to her advantage and Nathan can't resist. He never has been able to.

"Alright." He chuckles, leading her to the kitchen. "Hey," Nathan stops her on their way back inside the house, "you okay? You seem…weird."

"I'm just glad to have you back, Nate."

He nods and smiles this smile they're both not sure is fake or not. "Me too."

**

He's the last person she expects to run into in L.A.

She's walking out of an old coffee shop that she's declared 'her' spot when these broad shoulders knock her to the ground and her coffee all over her blouse. She's ready to throw out a few curse words except that when she looks up her furious expression softens and this twitch of a smile curves her lips. She doesn't dwell on why she's kind of excited to see him. The two never really hung out in high school and Nathan never did like the guy. She never really paid him any attention, but she knew he had a crush on her.

And somewhere deep down she was only happy to see him because he's the closest thing to Nathan she has right now.

When Lucas holds out his hand to lift her up she tries to find a whiff of Nathan in his cologne.

"Lucas, right?" She asks though they both know that she knows.

"Yeah." He nods. He scans her body and sees her hips are wider and the hair he fell in love with in high school isn't curly, but wavy now. It's darker too. She's still as perfect as he remembers her. "You've certainly have grown up Peyton Sawyer."

She blushes at his deep voice. She's never been one for compliments. It's then that the scorching coffee that was spilled all over becomes evident now and she feels like ripping the shirt off her body just to get away from it.

"Sorry about that." He says pointing to the giant brown stain on her outfit.

"It's alright. Happens all the time."

"Well then maybe you should start watching where you're going." He smirks. It's a comment she normally would have glared at him for, but it's really kind of funny to her.

She nods in the direction she was heading and he follows even though he has to go the opposite way. There's no way he's going to miss out on being with her.

"So what are doing here? You're still in Tree Hill, right?"

"Yeah." He nods. "I'm here for my book tour."

"You wrote a book?" She looks over at him with curious eyes. She never knew him in high school. She never knew if he was smart or funny or if they had anything in common. She never knew if he was capable to write a book.

He nods and opens his bag to show her the book he's been working on for the past four years. "It's basically what I think my life would have been like if I had joined the Ravens. Filled with love triangles, school shootings, stalkers, and all that good drama." He stares at her while she skims through the book and she's still as beautiful as she was in high school. Her eyes are greener and just filled with promises that he's not sure are what.

"Wow." She says handing him back the book.

"You keep it. I got others."

"Thanks." She says putting the book in her purse and staring ahead as the two walk. "So…" She draws out because she's not exactly sure what to say to this guy. They really only have one thing in common. "How's Nathan?"

He chuckles because he knew she was going to ask. "He's doing a lot better." It's all he gives and she's not sure what to take of that.

"When I heard about the accident it…it all felt so unreal. You know?"

He nods. "It all did. I'm just kind of afraid of what he's gonna do now. I mean now that basketball's gone what else is there for him? It's been his whole life."

She stops and turns to him in confusion. "Couldn't he still play? If he worked hard enough?"

Lucas shrugs. "He could, I guess, but…I don't know the kind of person that would take that risk."

She does.

Peyton looks up at the building they're standing in front of and she realizes how long and far they've walked. Lucas…he's different. A good different. And she finds herself liking his company.

"You want to…You want to come in?" She asks pointing to her apartment. "If you're not busy or anything."

He doesn't really think it over like he probably should. And Nathan doesn't even cross his mind in the process like it should. He knows his little brother has had a crush on this girl since they were little kids.

But so has he.

--

While Nathan and Haley try to rebuild something they once had, things start to heat up for Lucas and Peyton.

They started dating after that day in L.A. Peyton realized it was time to move on from Julian (and maybe Nathan?) and that night she spent with Lucas talking about everything imaginable just seemed right to her. They spent the whole night just talking and when he left the next morning he leaned down and kissed her cheek in an act of impulse. She didn't try to hide the smile she wore when watching him walk away.

That afternoon she showed up at his signing, handing him back his book with her number in it and an invitation for a date that night. He smiled and looked back up but she was gone. He thinks this girl is different. He_ knows_ she is. And he likes it. Her style, her laugh, her music. He's loved her since he was a little kid.

She showed him all around L.A. Showed him all her little spots that she's come to love over the years. She talks about her job and he's surprised that she doesn't like it as much as he thought she would. He doesn't say much. He doesn't want her voice to stop. He just watches and laughs and throws in his two cents every now and then.

They talk on the phone when he's not there. He's not there that much due to his book tour, but he always promises in one more week, two more weeks, three, they're going to see each other. She can't help but get excited and count down the days.

He calls her every night. He calls her when he's about to get on a plane. He calls her when he gets to his hotel. He doesn't go a day without hearing her voice. She doesn't think she can go a day without hearing his.

She's become dependent on the other Scott brother.

Nathan last on her mind and it doesn't bother her anymore. She remembers her best friend, but doesn't bother to call him. She just tells Lucas to say hi for her.

She's going to blame it on growing up and the distance and work and 'adult stuff'. Really, she doesn't want to hear about Haley or his accident or cry like a little girl when she hears his voice because she knows she will cry when she hears from him.

"Peyton?"

"Yeah?" She says into the phone, blocking back tears that she doesn't want to surface. She zoomed out when thinking about Nathan.

"I'll be there around three tomorrow, OK?"

"Yeah…that's great Luke. I can't wait to see you." She can hear him let out a breath and she knows he's smiling.

"I'll let you get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Luke."

"Night, Peyton."

She is excited to see him and can't wait to hold his hand and be in his arms, but there's just something else. Something that's just holding her back from being…completely happy. Lucas makes her happy, but only when he's there with her. There's only been one guy to ever make her feel happy even when he's not even there.

Her phone starts buzzing again right as she climbs into bed. It's late and she doesn't want to answer it. But it keeps ringing and she knows that whoever it is isn't going to stop.

"Hello?"

"Hi." And her heart stops at the tone of that voice. She knows who it is and there's that smile she wears only when his name comes to mind.

"Nathan?" she says letting out a relaxed breath. "How…how are you?" She asks struggling to really process this whole thing. It's been a few months since they've actually talked.

"I'm good." He says and he hopes she doesn't catch his lie, though he kind of hopes she does just so it can add more to this Haley vs. Peyton battle that's going on inside his mind. He doesn't like to admit it but Peyton's winning. "How are you?"

"Good. It's late here."

"Yeah, I know." He lets out a chuckle. "Sorry."

"It's OK. It's been a while."

"It has. I just wanted to say thanks for the flowers after my accident. It would have been nice to get a phone call, but I'll take what I can get." He says in what should probably be in a bitter tone, but it's not. He's just joking, but it's still the truth.

"I'm sorry. I was just…kind of afraid." She says quietly. She knows he's about to question what that means. "I didn't want to hear you hurt, Nate. You've always been the strong one. I didn't want to hear you any other way." She's on the brink of tears and she's really not sure why. He's fine now and there's nothing to worry about, but she still feels bad for not calling.

"I'm OK." It's all he says and those two words seem to do it for her.

There's a silence between the two. One that's comfortable, but awkward. Peyton doesn't want to bring up Haley and Nathan doesn't want to bring up Lucas. She knows things are better between the married couple. He knows his little brother makes his best friend happy.

"How's L.A.?" He asks just for the sake of keeping her on the phone.

"It's…L.A." It's all she can say about this place. It's all she wants to say to him. Truthfully, L.A.'s horrible. It's not her. She hates it. She hates her job and she's had better friends. And the people here are not who she wants in her life. Lucas has made it better, but she still can't stand this place. "How's Tree Hill?"

"Same." He answers simply. Tree Hill is the exact same. At least the atmosphere is and maybe some of the people. He recognizes old faces every now and then and a few times he'll see a few he's never seen before. He's still waiting for the day when he'll see her face walking down the street.

"I was…I was going through some old stuff and I…I found my letterman jacket from high school." He says practically hearing her smile through the phone. "You remember that?"

"Of course I do. You were my first fake boyfriend."

"I was your only fake boyfriend. All the guys were scared of me so you ran to me when you needed me to protect you."

"I did not!" She laughs.

He chuckled at her high pitched voice. "Yeah, you did."

"Like you didn't enjoy the attention." She says knowingly.

"I do miss those days." He says seriously.

"I know you do. Especially now I bet."

"No, I didn't mean basketball. I meant those days with you. Back in high school it all seemed so easy. You were always here and I never had to call you at a certain time of day just to get a word in. Everything's different now."

"Growing up is never easy, Nate." She says. He smiles at the short version of his name. He always liked it when she said it.

He doesn't say anything after that. There's really nothing else to say except everything he wants to say. He realizes he can't say those things because that means they're true. These things that he's been blocking out. Things that don't need to be said. He knows he loves her. He knows he loves Haley. But there's something that's telling him that loving Haley is completely different and not as important as loving Peyton. And he hates himself for that.

"I miss you, Peyton." He says sincerely. It's quiet and she has to double check to make sure it's really what he said. Its four simple words and they still seem to bring her to the brink of tears.

"I miss you too, Nathan." She says and he can hear the fight against tears on the other end.

"I really wish things were like the old days. When you were still here and we were best friends."

"I thought…we still were best friends."

"We are." He assured. "It's just not the same." It's not long after that that they finally call it a night. He hangs up and goes back to his wife who already went to bed and she goes back to her empty bed in her empty apartment. She wants to think about Lucas, about him being here in just a few hours, but she can't. Her best friend is still on her mind. He's really never left it.

And she can't help but think that moving back to Tree Hill isn't such a bad idea.


	3. Chapter 3

It looks like I can't make up my mind lately. I've decided to turn this into a chapter story. How many chapters? I have no clue. But thanks to some massive snow I've been out of school for the last 3 days and ideas have been rushing at me for this story. When's the next update? Still I have no idea beucase this is as much as I've written.

So I hope you enjoy this story just a bit more.

* * *

"I want you out of this house!" Her voice echoed throughout the large house. She stormed into the kitchen to be away from him, but he was right behind her limping in with his hand clutching the cane.

"Haley!"

"No, Nathan." She turned to him. "I thought this could work. I thought we could do this. I thought we loved each other enough. But after that!" She yelled pointing to the living room where they just were, "After that I know what you really want and what you really need. And it's not me."

"Look, Haley, I love you!" He said stumbling over to her, trying to embrace her in a hug. But she pushed away. "I don't…I don't want to leave you, Haley. I don't want this to be over."

"Nathan…" She stops him. She shuts her eyes tightly hoping that maybe this all just a dream, hoping that at any second she'll wake up next to her husband. But she's not sure which one she wants. To stay in this dream where the truth is finally out or wake up next to a man that might not be in love with her.

But this isn't a dream, even though he wishes it was.

"You need to go." She says quietly.

"Haley," He shakes his head taking another step towards her, but she stops him. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"No, Nathan. You're in love with someone else. We both know that."

When he hears those words it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. This sigh of relief comes and they both catch it. It's clear to both of them which girl has one the battle inside his mind. But that curly blonde is all the way across the country and he's here with who he guesses is his soon-to-be ex-wife.

He doesn't think he's won much.

Nathan nods his head, mumbling something about coming back for his things before turning away from her and stepping out the front door.

He doesn't break down and cry like Haley does when he leaves. He doesn't hit something or yell out in frustration. He just gets in his car and drives to the nearest motel.

That night when trying sleep, his wife doesn't come to mind. Or the fact he's getting divorced. Or the fact that he's probably never going to play again. It's Peyton.

It's always been Peyton.

--

Nathan was right. This small town hasn't changed a bit.

It's only been six months since she's last been here, but it feels longer. It feels like almost five years since she's really taken it all. It kind of has been.

There's still the same people mixed in with some new and this town seems livelier to her. She's starting to compare it to L.A. and she's really not sure why she left this town in the first place.

Lucas squeezes her hand tighter as they're driving down the street and she knows he's happy to have her back. It surprised him when she told him she was thinking about moving back. He'd like to think it was him that gave her that extra push to really do it.

After that night with Nathan, she told Lucas about her plan, quit her job and began the process of packing. Where she was going to live wasn't really an option for her. Her dad still had their old house that of course was still empty. It didn't feel strange moving back into that house of hers. She kind of liked the idea of staying in that old red bedroom.

"It's really good to have you back, Peyt." Lucas said when he dropped her off.

"It feels good to be back." She said watching his smile. He gave one last wave with the promise that he'd be over the next day before driving off back to his own place.

She unlocked the door and was faced with all her boxes that had arrived the day before. She really doesn't feel like unpacking so she just leaves them there. She's not staying long, only until she can find herself a place all her own.

Her bedroom is still the same. The old records she had to leave behind are still lined up against her wall as paintings describing her teenage angst are all over her red walls. Her bed still lies in the middle of the room and it brings back all the memories of the nights Nathan stayed over.

She's tired, but can't really find it in herself to sleep so she decides to paint. It's something she's become accustomed to lately. She's become more fond of it than music and she can figure out if it's because of her last suck job or not. But it's there and she's glad to have it there.

She has a few of these things she can't bring herself to call master pieces just lying around. She can't throw them out and she won't get rid of them, so they sat in her apartment taking up space and now they sit in her house doing the same thing. But to her, they're not really in the way or 'taking up space', to Julian they were, but to her, they're parts of her mind that she put on a canvas.

Each painting she does is personal, whether it's about her life or not. She'll find inspiration in tiny spaces of the world. She'll see a bird flying and think of freedom, she'll see children playing and think back to being naïve or teenagers just…having fun. Sometimes it's not her life she paints. Sometimes it's things in her life she wished she had…or had back.

Its hours before she finishes and she doesn't realize it until a yawn escapes her. She looks over to the bedside clock and sees it's almost two in the morning. She declares her painting officially done and moves towards her comfy bed.

Its minutes before she falls asleep.

--

She's loved this small town since she was a little girl. She has no idea why she ever left in the first place.

She wakes up earlier than intended and when she can't get back to sleep she decides to greet the day. Her neighbors recognize her as she leaves the house and they greet her with warm smiles you don't see often in L.A. She can remember almost every inch of this town as she's walking down the street. The smells of her favorite pizza place fill her nose and she's ecstatic the old record shop is still open.

She sees the pier her and Nathan used to walk up and down during the summer for hours. It seems everywhere she goes she sees Nathan. She's going to say it's because they grew up together.

But even she's starting not believe that.

But there's Lucas now. And he's here to do all the things her and Nathan used to do and then some.

And still she wonders if she should call him?

It's mid-afternoon and she's wandering in and out of shops trying to kill time. Those little stores her and Brooke went to are still there, but she walks right pass them all and into the record shop. A smile graces her lips when Max, the owner, still remembers her.

"Long time, no see, Sawyer." He says letting her browse through her usual collection.

She searches for what feels like hours through albums and vinyl's that she already has. This old place hasn't changed a bit (kind of like the rest of this town) and she never realized it before, but she likes knowing the comfort of this town is always here. That wherever the world or life took her, Tree Hill and that familiar setting would always be here.

L.A. has never had that for her.

She ends up buying a few albums she doesn't need and will probably only listen to once, but she feels like she's back in high school when she does it. She knows that old CD business isn't doing well and she knows it's only a matter of time before Max has to end it, so she's happy to contribute a bit.

"Peyton?"

She's walking out of the shop and down the sidewalk when she hears his voice. She knows that voice, better than she probably should, and still that old high school feeling is with her.

"Nathan!" she says turning back and running towards him for a hug. She's careful with the cane in his hand, but she still manages to knock the wind out of him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks happily. "Did you finally move back?"

She nods. "Yeah. I was gonna call you." She says unwrapping her arms from his neck.

"Well, it figures the first place you go when you get back to town is Max's." He says pointing to the store they're standing in front of. She scowls and slaps his stomach as he laughs. "You haven't changed a bit, Sawyer." She smiles when he hears the name he's always called her. The same name Max had called her. It's different when Nathan says it.

But she really has changed. Her curl blonde locks are now a wavy auburn color. Her hips are wider and she's grown into those chicken legs she used to have. And her eyes. They just seem to sparkle a bit more when he sees them. She seems more mature, or at least she dresses more mature, he's not sure which.

"Look at you." Peyton says motioning to his body. "Up and walking."

Nathan chuckles, turning away so she doesn't catch his blush. "I'm doing really well."

"So, I see."

"So, are you back for good?" Nathan asks.

Peyton turns to look out at the street and all the people out walking around. She's told herself this a million times, but telling Nathan feels more…important.

"Yeah." She says turning back to him. "I guess I am."

"Well, it's good to have you back." He says wrapping his arm around his shoulder like he used to when they were kids. It was friendly and both decided to block out the awkwardness of it.

He was divorced (or almost) and obviously in love with a girl that wasn't his wife. Everyone knew it except _that_ girl. She was taken by his little brother and she was choosing to ignore the nagging voice in her head telling her it was all wrong.

"You want to get something to eat?" Nathan asks stopping in his tracks.

She stops too and really thinks about it. And she really wants to. "I can't." She sighs. "I'm meeting Luke for lunch." She says not catching the look Nathan flashed across his face. He still can't believe his little brother got the girl of his dreams.

"Oh." He says and she can catch the disappointment on his voice.

"But hey, I'm staying in my old house, just until I find my own place. Maybe you could come over tonight. We could sit out on the porch and talk like we used to." She says shrugging a shoulder in that cute he's always loved.

"Yeah." He nods. "I'll be there around seven."

She backs away from him, leaving him standing alone on the sidewalk. "Can't wait."

Neither can he.

--

Seven can't come fast enough. Nathan rushes back to his hotel room and instantly his clothes are strewn all over the room looking for something to wear like he's a high school girl. He never expected to see her here. He hates how she didn't call and tell him when she first moved. It's another one of those things that just proves that they're not as close as they used to be.

But he is happy that's she's back. Of course he is. And he really can't wait for tonight.

Its six hundred steps to her house. Counting them is the only thing that keeps his mind at ease. Six hundred steps and it takes him almost an hour to get there. He's stopped a few times to rethink everything. He turned around once or twice convincing himself this was a bad idea. But finally he makes it.

There are a lot of memories in that house for him. On that porch and in that room. It's still the same after all these years. He's driven by it once or twice before, but he's never stopped to really look at it. The all brick house with white shutters always held that curly blonde.

It excites knowing that it still does.

It's completely dark by the time he gets there and his palms are sweating when he reaches for the doorbell. Of course it doesn't work. It hasn't since they were in middle school. So he knocks the door with this pathetic excuse of a pound. He's not sure if she heard it, but when the door swings open to reveal those green eyes he couldn't be happier.

"Hey." She says opening the door wider so he can walk in.

"Hey. You still haven't gotten that fixed?" He asks motioning to the doorbell. She just shrugs and a laugh leaves him. "It's still the same." He comments glancing around the house they both practically grew up in.

"Yeah. No one's been around to change any of it." She says walking into the kitchen with Nathan following for a drink.

"Where's your dad?"

"Somewhere in the Caribbean. He'll be back in a few weeks."

"House all to yourself, huh?" Nathan says taking a seat at the table. "Any wild parties planned?"

She chuckles throwing him a glance over her shoulder. "I think I've been living by myself since I was fourteen." She jokes handing him a glass of iced tea before taking a seat across from him.

"There's no music." He says after a while looking up at the ceiling and around the room.

"What?"

He chuckles, leaning forward in his seat. "Every time I came when we were younger here to see you, there was always music playing. Now it's just…quiet."

She chuckles too. "Maybe I enjoy the quiet now." She says kinking her brow.

"Nobody enjoys the quiet." He says shaking his head.

Her smile fades and she leans back in her chair as does he. They sit in the silence for a few short moments as Peyton takes him in. His hair has gotten a bit longer than when she last saw him. He still has those muscles she grew up loving even though she knows he hasn't been exercising lately. And he just looks good. She really shouldn't be looking at him like this. She has Lucas. He's all she needs.

"So," She says to rid the silence, "how's your leg?" She says motioning to the cane sitting up against the table.

He smiles standing up from the table. He walks to the end of the kitchen and back without his cane and he loves that smile she's wearing when he does it. She's the only person that knows he can do that. He's glad she's the first he showed.

"I can do that for about twenty minutes and then that's it." He chuckles.

"Well congratulations." She says watching him sit back down. "Was it hard to lose it?" She asks silently.

He sighs, bowing his head. "It's the hardest thing I've ever been through." He says meeting her eyes. "People keep asking me what I'm going to do now and I just…don't know."

She stands up from the table and pats his shoulder. "You'll get it all back." She smiles. "In no time you'll be back out on that court."

He watches her walk into the living room and can hear her as she takes the stairs up to her bedroom. It's the thing he's been waiting to hear since he's had the accident. That promise that it will all come back. That this isn't the end of Nathan Scott. He wanted to hear it from his wife and his brother and maybe even from his own father, but no one said it. No one believed in him.

Except Peyton.

The girl who's always believed in him and has had faith in him. And even if Haley or Luke had said it, none of those words would have mattered as much as Peyton's.

He gets up and takes the stairs like Peyton had done minutes earlier. He's surprised (though he really shouldn't be) that her bedroom is still the same.

"Whoa…blast from the past." He says earning a glare from Peyton. She returns to her drawing leaving him to wander and it really does feel like they're back in high school. Her drawing and he doing…something.

"Are these yours?" He asks spotting the paintings that lay across the room. She looks up from her drawing but doesn't say anything. He moves on to the next one and carefully touches it to get a feel of the texture. "Peyton, did you paint these?" He asks smiling up at her.

"Yeah." She says overcoming that lump in her throat. She's not sure why, but having Nathan inspect her art is weird for her. She's afraid of his opinion, even though she knows he'd never tell her they were bad, but she feels like his opinion is most important. It might be.

"They're really good."

She gets up from her seat and grabs his attention. "They're just something I do in my free time."

"Looks like you've had a lot." He says looking around at all the paintings. She swats his chest and the two laugh. "Seriously though, they are great."

"Thanks." She says looking up at his blue eyes. "You want to go sit out on the porch? Like old times?"

"You got hot chocolate?"

"Of course." He nods and follows her down the stairs and outside, each with a cup of hot coco in their hands.

They sit outside for what feels like ever just talking and joking like they did when they were kids. He gives her his jacket when she shivers and lets her lay her feet across his lap. Neither really question what's going on with the others. Neither wants to know the feelings they share. He's afraid to know and she…she has Lucas.

It's nearly eleven o'clock when he asks the question she hasn't even answered to Lucas yet.

"So, what happened out in L.A.?"

She shrugged, trying to play off the whole thing. "It wasn't what I wanted. I just feel stupid that it took me four years to realize it."

"Well, what do you want?" He asks with that smirk.

"I don't know." She says. "I mean, the whole L.A. music scene is just filled with…no one important. You know? Like people that don't give a rat's ass about the artists, but the promotion and the money. I thought I could change that or learn to deal with it."

"Peyton, you shouldn't have to learn to deal with stuff like that. You remember what your dad used to tell us?" He asks leaning forward, knocking her feet out of his lap, "You find something you love and do it every single day and you'll never have to work in your life."

Peyton smiled, loving how he remembered that, loving how he was there when her father said that.

"Maybe music isn't what I want to do anymore, you know? I think L.A. kind of sucked my love for it out of me, as tragic as that sound." She says earning a laugh form Nathan. "It's like every time I see a new album out, all I can think of is the promotion they're getting, the management they have, and all this stuff that never mattered to me before."

"Then don't do music. Do something else."

"It all sounds so easy."

"It can be."

She looks up at him through the few hairs that fell in front of her face. He's staring at her with a knowing smirk and sipping from his mug. She knows he's right. L.A. wasn't the thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life, she knew that, it just took him saying it for her to really understand.

"So," She says to rid the silence, "how's Haley?" It's something she's been avoiding, and she notices how Nathan doesn't bring her up.

There's a crinkle in his forehead that she's not sure how to take and a disappointed sigh that she's not happy about.

"Haley and I…Haley thinks it's best if we get a divorce." He says keeping his eyes away from hers.

"What? How…when?"

"About a week ago."

She leans over to him and wraps both of her arms around his big arm. "Nathan, I'm so sorry."

He shrugs off her arms and sighs. "It's OK. Things have changed a lot between us. That accident just ruined everything."

"You can't blame it on the accident, Nate." She says quietly. He glances over at her, knowing she's right.

"I was trying, you know. We fought constantly, and we never slept in the same bed, and we never talked to each other. But at the end of it, I did try, Peyton." He says in a voice that needs her to believe him.

"I'm sure you did." She says taking her hand and rubbing it up and down his arm.

"I don't know, maybe I should've listened to that voice in the back of my head screaming _'don't marry her'_."

"Nathan…" She says, wishing that she would have said something other than _'It'll all work out' _to him when he first got married. She wishes she would have really listened to him when he was telling her of his doubts about the marriage.

"I know she doesn't want me, Peyton. I'm not going to fight for her…because I'm always going to love her, but deep down I don't want her anymore either." He says looking over at her wondering what she's thinking. He's never noticed how her green eyes sparkle at night and it's just another thing that reminds how much he loves this girl instead.

He doesn't tell her the whole truth of why he's getting divorced and they both know that. He doesn't want to. That's admitting too much to a person that doesn't need to hear all of it.

"I…I better get going. It's late." He says standing from the swing and making his way for the steps before turning around. "I'm really glad you're back, Peyton."

"Yeah, me too." She says with more meaning than when she said it to Lucas.

He sees her then, fumbling with the hem of her shirt, looking nervous and unsure of what to do or say next and he knows his next move is stupid and not well thought out, but just seeing her there he can't help himself.

_She reached for the knob and before she could even touch it he was pulling her back and planting his lips on her._

_The only reaction she could have was to kiss back. She settled into his arms and they just felt right together. His lips were soft and great in every way imaginable. He loved the way she tasted like strawberries and smelled of coconuts. _

_He pulled away and for no reason at all they were both panting like they had just ran a marathon._

"_Why'd you do that?" She asked._

_He shrugged, not really sure himself. "I brushed my teeth this morning."_

She still smelled of coconuts and her lips tasted like strawberries like they did all those years ago when he first kissed her. He loves how she hasn't changed everything about herself.

She kisses back. He knows she does, he can feel it. And they both know it's wrong in every way possible. He's technically still married and she has a boyfriend. But his lips are still soft and gentle.

It's a two second kiss, but it still feels like time stopped especially for them.

When he pulls away neither are ready for that awkwardness. Her eyes flutter open and stare up at him. They don't want to call it what it is. And she doesn't question why he did it. Because they both know exactly what_ it_ is and they know exactly why he did it.

"Goodbye kiss?" She suggests, knowing it could never be anymore than that, even though it already is.

"Yeah." He nods, his breath being knocked out of him from the two simple words.. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then or whenever." He says, knowing that that awkwardness he never wanted between them is probably going to be there now.

"Yeah." She nods. "I'll see ya"

He walks down the steps and listens for the door to shut behind him. He walks the whole way back to his hotel room cursing himself for being such an idiot. But if he could take it back he wouldn't. He wouldn't dare.

Because that night when he tries to sleep he's still thinking about Peyton and he has a good idea about whom she's thinking about.

* * *

Well? What'd ya think? Haley's going to seem like a bitch in this story and I'm not enitrely sure how much Peyotn/Lucas interaction I'm going to have. But I hoped you enjoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

I wrote this whole thing in like 2 hours, so excuse any misakes. The next chapter's not written yet and I have no clue what's going to happen next. But I hope you enjoy and thanks to everyone that reviewed.

* * *

She's not sure who she's more afraid to face. Nathan or Lucas. She doesn't want Lucas to look at her and just _know_ what happen. She doesn't want to look at Nathan and_ want_ to kiss him again. Because she's afraid if she does both, both will happen.

So she avoids Nathan and she acts weird around Lucas. Both know what she's doing and only one knows why.

Because she knows that kiss was wrong. She's not going to tell Lucas. It'd only hurt him and cause unnecessary drama between the two brothers. It's not going to happen again. She's not going to allow it to. But she liked it all the same. She felt like she was twelve years old again and he kissed her in his doorway. He wore his boyish grin and blue eyes both times it happened. And she loved it. When she was twelve and a week ago.

She wakes to the silence of her house knowing today is a different day than any other. Lucas got her a job interview at the high school. She never saw herself teaching art, but really what choice does she have? She's been sitting around this house for an entire week. And she can't sit around her house all day waiting for Lucas or someone to call.

And she kind of likes the idea of working in the same place as Lucas. Not necessarily the idea of working in the same place as Haley. But no matter what, it's still a job and it might not be a job she wants for the rest of her life.

But it's a start.

Her phone starts ringing right as she's dressed and ready to leave and she instantly knows its Nathan. She doesn't take the call.

"_Peyton, I really need you to answer my calls." _His voice has a hint of desperation in it that only she would catch, but other than that he seems…okay. And that's all she wants for him. She doesn't listen to anymore of that though. No matter what, no matter how close she is to him, it still hurts to hear his voice. She's not sure if it's because of the distance they went through during that four years. Or if it's because they're not as close as they used to be.

Or because she knows how much pain he's going through.

--

He's happy. Really happy. It's the best he's felt in a _long_ time. All he needs now is for her to answer the phone.

"Peyton, I really need to talk to you. I have something really important to tell you. Call me back when you get this." He shuts the phone and slips it back in his pocket, without that smile ever leaving his face. Peyton's still not answering him, but what he has in store is just too good to bring him down.

He's been trying to get in touch with Peyton for a few days now. He knows she's avoiding him, he knows why, and it's killing him. He knows what he did was wrong, but she never pushed away. She never said it was a mistake either and he loves that. It's the reason for his smile.

It gives him that slither of hope that maybe, _just maybe_, Nathan and Peyton can actually be a Nathan _and_ Peyton. He still hasn't lost that hope, even after these last few days when she hasn't returned his phone calls.

But he knows how to make her cave.

He's walking out of the bank feeling like he's on top of the world, when he really has no reason to be there. His divorce is the last thing on his mind and that little kiss is still lingering in the air around him. He's still walking with the cane, but he seems to be lighter on his feet because of it.

He pulls out his cell and begins typing, ready to put his plan into motion.

_Important! Meet me at the warehouse on the corner._

He knows she'll know exactly where it is. It's sent before he can question himself. He knows what he's doing is right. He knows she'll want this. And he likes the idea of him being the guy that gave her what she wanted. He likes always being that guy for her.

"Nathan?" He turns around to meet those doe eyes that he fell in love with not too long ago. They don't shine like they used to he notices. They're dark and beaten down and he knows who did that to the girl.

"Haley." He says, still in a state shock to see her. He hasn't seen or talked to her since he went back for his things a weeks ago.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Good." He nods. "I still got the cane, but it won't be too long." He says trying to stifle a small laugh. She smiles what he's sure is a proud one and he's happy that she's not as mad as she was. "You look good."

"Thanks." She blushes, wishing he still didn't have that power over her. "I was just on my way to work."

"Oh." He says, not sure how to respond to that. There's an awkward silence between the two as they both watch other civilians go on with their lives. They're trying to do exactly that. He figures out he's not doing too well when he looks at Haley, no matter how many times he tries to convince himself he is. But he's really trying. "Well, you better get going." He says moving out of her way.

"Nathan," she sighs, "you got a call from the lawyer, right?"

"Yeah." He nods. "I'll be at the meeting on Thursday."

"OK. Good." She shows a small smile he's not sure how to take. He's glad she's getting what she wants. "I guess I'll see you Thursday." She says clutching her purse. He sees the hard time she's going through. He hates that he caused it all, but he can't find himself to do anything about it.

"Bye, Haley." She offers a small wave and continues on her way. He takes a second to watch this girl really walk out of his life.

He's happy he can get up and walk out of hers now.

--

"Nathan, what is so important that you send me an urgent text and make me drive all the way across town?" Peyton asks moving around some boxes and over to where Nathan's standing. She was preparing for her job interview when Nathan had texted her. She's not sure why he made her show up at an old warehouse that hasn't been used since the late 80's. It's covered in dust and boxes that are filled with junk. The walls are covered in mold and it looks as if the ceilings are about to cave in. There are cracks and squeaks in the floor and even some of the windows are broken. This building has been sitting her since before they were born. No one's came near it, for fear of it being haunted.

She's not sure why she's here now.

"Nathan?"

He peered around his shoulder to her curious face and turned to face her with this excited smile. "Do you like it?" He asks motioning to the room.

"You mean this dump?" She asks kinking her brow. "Yeah, I love it."

"Ha, ha." He mocks.

"Seriously, why am I here?"

His smile grew wider as he reached for her wrist. "Picture it." He says motioning to the empty wall. "This wall covered in your paintings. You could have art shows showcasing your newest stuff. And people would actually by them hang them up in their homes." He moves her to one wall facing the entire room. "This wall could have like…I don't know…you're best painting or something representing Tree Hill or something."

Peyton watched his enthusiasm for a few seconds before stopping him.

"OK, what the hell are you talking about? Nathan, what is this?"

He let go of her wrist and spread his arms apart, throwing his cane in the air with them. "It's your art gallery!"

She scrunches her brow, shooting him a questioning look. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard what I said. I mean, it doesn't have to be just a gallery. You could teach classes too and you, you could have like…amateur art shows and have other people's art shown here."

She's really never seen him so happy and it's not even himself he's talking about. She can tell he's thought a lot about this.

"Nathan, I have a job interview at three. I don't have time to stand around and talk about this." She says turning away from him and walking towards the door.

"Peyton, wait!" She stops and turns back to him, placing her hand on her hip and scowling towards him.

"Will you just explain all this to me, please? Without such enthusiasm."

He sighs, still having that smile intact. "You remember when we were little kids and we ran away from home?" He asks with that smirk. She chuckles to herself and nods. They were only gone for a few hours and were only eleven. He was pissed at his dad and she wanted some space from hers. Nathan came over late at night and asked if she wanted to leave. Back then she'd go anywhere with him.

"This is where we went, Peyton." He says watching as she looked around the building and remembered the night they spent in this old warehouse. "We sat over there in that corner with like twenty candles around us" He says motioning to the corner behind him that's now filled with boxes and wood. "And we stayed all night eating gummy worms. You remember?"

"Yeah." She nods. "But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, I was driving by this place the other day and was thinking about how this place is a piece of junk and it's been sitting here for over twenty years and its still standing. And I think to myself that it's a sign that this place needs to be Peyton's." He smiles. "So, I gave Brooke a call and I told her my idea and she's all for it. She even wants to help with renovations and whatever else you need to get your business up off the ground. And you know I'll be here and…"

"Nathan." She stops him. She needs him to stop rambling. "I can't do this right now."

"What? Why?"

"Because…because you can't just buy me a warehouse and expect me to fill it with art." She says like it's the most ridiculous thing in the world.

"And why not?" He asks, not waiting for an answer. "Peyton, you told me that music is over for you. Then make it art! OK, you can't sit around your father's house anymore, Peyton. You got to get out there and do something." He says sounding like such a hypocrite. He can't even find his own apartment for himself let alone a job.

"That's what I'm trying to do, Nathan! But you're the one keeping me from this very important job interview."

"What? You want to work at Tree Hill High for a bunch of bratty teenagers?" He asks incredulously, limping towards her to where he's mere inches away. "Peyton, you're better than that."

She scoffs, tearing her eyes away for a spilt second. "Nathan, Lucas is the coach there. Haley works there. Are you saying I'm better than them?"

Yes.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. They_ wanted_ to work there. You had no choice - until now! Just give me one reason why you don't want this?" He says letting out a frustrated sigh and backing away and turning away from her.

"Look, I don't need you and Brooke paying for my business" She says kind of liking the sound '_my business'_. "If I really wanted this, I would do it by myself."

"You do want this." He says walking back over to her. "I've known you since I was six years old. I know when you want something. You get that sparkle in your eyes." He says pointing to that exact sparkle. "And you want this really bad, but you're too damn stubborn to admit it." She rolls her eyes, really believing he doesn't know her as well as she thinks he does. But he always has. "Peyton, just take Brooke's money to help start it and if it really bothers you, you can pay her back later. Just do this, Peyton."

She sighs, running her fingers through her hair. "I got to talk to Luke first."

"No, screw Lucas!" He says watching her head whip back towards him. He smiles, telling her he's kidding before turning serious again. "Peyton, this isn't Luke's dream. This is yours. Do you want this or not? Don't think about Luke. Don't think about me. Don't think about anyone. What do you want?"

What does she want? There's a question that has multiple meanings. She doesn't want to do music. She really does want to do art. She doesn't want to work at Tree Hill High.

"OK, fine. This is an awesome idea." She sighs, admitting defeat. He smiles and walks over to her, hugging her before picking her up and swinging her around in the air, even though the pain in his leg is telling him not to. "But, Nathan you better be there to help me." She warns once he places her back down.

"Of course I will be. Congratulations, Peyton." He says laying a hand on her shoulder. "You're fulfilling your dreams."

"Yeah." She nods, looking up at him. "Don't you think it's time to start fulfilling yours?"

--

She never planned on being this type of girlfriend. The kind that waits by the phone, but acts casually when he finally calls. The kind that laughs at all of his jokes, even when they're not funny. She used to make fun of these girls. She used to hate them.

She never planned on being one.

But low and behold her she is cooking dinner for her beloved boyfriend before he gets home from work. She let herself into his house and thought maybe doing something nice for him was a good idea. Plus she has to tell him the good news.

"What are you doing here?" Luke smiles walking in the door and dropping his bag by the couch and making his way into the kitchen. He wraps his arms around her like this is a normal occurrence. He likes the idea of it, loves the girl doing it.

"I wanted to fix you dinner."

"Well, do you need any help?" He asks, taking the knife from her hands before she can protest. "Hey, where were you today? I worked hard to get you that interview, Peyt, and you just bailed." He says in what should be an angered tone, but really isn't.

"I know and I'm sorry. But Nathan called…"

"Nathan?" he stops in his tracks and turns around to face her. "Peyton, we're not in high school anymore. We can't run away from our responsibilities and act like kids all day."

"I know that, Luke." She says seriously. "If you would just let me explain." He motions for her to continue, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed across his chest. "Nathan called and we went to that old warehouse on the corner and he had the idea of turning it into an art studio."

"OK?"

"And I could sell my paintings there and have local art shows and maybe I could teach some classes a few times a week."

"What about the high school? You can teach there." He asks, unsure of her and Nathan's little plan.

"But it's not the same, Luke."

He's trying to keep his jealousy in tact. He knows about Nathan. He knows his little brother loves this girl and soon he'll be a free man. And that scares Lucas. His little brother was one reason why he didn't want her moving back to Tree Hill. Though he never told her that.

"Luke, I never wanted to teach at the high school. I was just going to do it because I needed the money." She shrugs. "I mean, I'm only living one life, Luke. I might as well be following my dreams while I'm doing it."

He doesn't really think it over. He doesn't think he really has a choice in the matter, because, to him, if Nathan says it, Peyton's doing it. He pushes himself off the counter and walks over to her. His arms fall on her shoulders and he looks her straight in the eye with a boyish grin on his face. "Is this what you really want?"

She nods. "Yes." She says quietly.

"OK." He smiles. "Go follow your dreams, Peyton Sawyer." He says wrapping her in a hug, leaving their food forgotten. "Only because you are destined for greatness."

--

"_Don't you think it's time to start fulfilling yours?"_

It's the only words that linger in his mind. Hers always seem to be the only ones that do that.

He's played in this gym a thousand times. He's made what seems like millions of shots in here. He's been harassed by hundreds of opposing fans. And he had the time of his life doing it all. But none of it seems significant to right now – when it's empty and quiet. He loves it most at this time.

It's late and he shouldn't be here, but he's never really been able to resist. This has been his place to go since he stopped drinking. Haley never knew about it, or Luke, he never even told Peyton. It's that one secret (or two) he's not ready to tell anyone just yet.

But he's here. With a ball in one hand and his cane in the other. One's holding his future; the other is holding him back from living it. One's safe and the other's everything he's ever worked for.

And he thinks of that window. That window that took everything away from him. And he feels stupid because he's letting a little window scare him. He thinks back to that night when there's a shard of glass in his body and Luke by his side yelling at him to stay awake. He can feel that pain in his side and it feels like it does that night. And he wants to scream out.

His life was flashing before his eyes and he thought of his mom and dad, of Haley and Luke, Brooke – but most importantly, he thought of Peyton. When they're six and nine and sixteen and in the airport watching her chase her dreams and in his apartment watching her walk away from the one thing they can't admit.

It's not his dream or twenty-two years of hard work that makes him want to start following his dreams again. It's Peyton.

It's always been Peyton.

He's thinking back to high school when he was in this gym as a freshman and a sophomore and a junior and a senior, and there's Peyton on the sidelines in her cheerleading uniform. She was always on those sidelines. There's Peyton with that smile she only wore on game days and every time he would glance her way, she'd roll her eyes because she always said she never wanted to really be there.

He always knew better.

She loved every minute of it. He knows that because so did he. He loved this court and this game and that girl on the sidelines. He loved everything about it and he would give anything to have it back. Not to change it all, but to take that one opportunity he never did. The one he's been kicking himself over for the past six years.

Maybe he can. Not by building a time machine or anything crazy. But by taking this game back. By being as good as he used to be. By being better than who he used to be. Because if he can have it all back he's not going to miss that chance again.

He drops the cane and traps the ball between both his hands. He looks up to the basket that's only a few feet away, rolling the ball in his hands. He dribbles a few times, thinking that might help him in some way.

His hands fall exactly where they should on the ball, his knees are bent, and, like always, his father's words ring in his mind. They're threatening and somewhat encouragement for Nathan. They've worked all his life and he's not going to stop now because of a bad leg. He looks back up to the basket, thinking about exactly how much strength he'll have to use. He used to make this shot look easy back in high school.

He knows it's not going to be easy to make it now. Nothing's going to be easy anymore.

"Here goes nothing."


	5. Chapter 5

The only reason this chapter is written right now is becuase I had two cavities filled today and didn't want to talk to anyone, so instead I wrote something. Sorry it took me so long. Hopefully next one won't take me as long to write. I have the whoe story planned out now down to the very last chapter, so maybe that will help me.

But really, I have to thank cabot007 for this update, becuase she sent me Neyton videos and it helped me get in the mood to write some Neyton-ness.

* * *

He can remember reading a quote from high school. It's stuck with him all these years. He's not sure why, it's just there replaying itself in his head. _'It's the failures that make us human. It's the one thing we express with real, bare emotions, whether it's through sadness or not. Everything else makes us robots.' _

It's him in a nutshell. His accident is really the only time he's felt so alive. That and when he's had a basketball in his hands. Or…when he kissed Peyton. As wicked as it sounds, it's the truth. Having the feeling of watching everything leave your grasp brought him not a feeling of anger or depression, but life. It made him feel like a failure, but it's him that has to prove to everyone that he's really not. Because, he's realized, in life you got to work hard for the things you want. Not just to get them, but you have to fight like hell to keep them.

Right now, he's got to fight like hell to get it all back.

It's a long journey and not the safest of ones to take. He knows that, but he doesn't care. Because it's basketball and it's always been basketball for him. While everyone was dreaming of being doctors or teachers, he still held onto that childhood dream of playing professional ball.

He knows no one believes he can do this. He knows he's not just going to be able to walk right into the NBA. There are certain things he's going to have to do before he gets that call.

But it's no reason not to keep his cell close by.

So he works at it everyday. Whether it's lifting weights or sneaking into the old gym at night just to shoot a few hoops. He goes to the Rivercourt when he knows Lucas won't be there and tries his best to run as long as he can in the early hours of the mornings.

He doesn't want people to know he's trying again. He doesn't want to see that look of disbelief on their faces when he tells them he's playing. He couldn't bare that. Peyton's the only one that hasn't given him that look. But he won't talk to her about it. All he tells her is that it's a slow process and _one day _things will be different for him. She doesn't know that one day might be coming fairly soon. Hopefully.

He spends more and more time in the gym than he should. He should be looking for an apartment and finding a job. But he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to get too comfortable with anything until he has everything. He's moved from that crummy motel room back into his old house with his dad. He's never there; always off on some business trip, so it's pretty much just Nathan in the house.

He doesn't plan on staying there long either.

Peyton's been busy, so he doesn't call her but once every few days. He's happy she's working so hard this gallery. He knows this is exactly what she needs. After her time in L.A., she needs to be here in Tree Hill creating masterpieces that he knows everyone will love.

He just hopes Peyton knows that to.

As for his divorce, it seems like a slow process. Both Nathan and Haley just want to sign on the dotted line, but there are things that need to be said and things that need to be separated. He wants it to be over. She just wants to move on.

She's not the same Haley as he remembers and he's not the same Nathan that she fell in love with. Their time together was sweet and great. It was also hatred and fighting. But he still can remember the first day he met Haley.

_He's failing. And this isn't high school failing. This is if he gets one more bad grade then college is over for him failing. He's never actually had that happen to him before. He's never worked for good grades, nor has he ever cared to. Teachers just gave them to him because he was the star of the team. Basketball's always been his main priority._

_But now they're threatening to take away basketball and throw him out if he doesn't get his act together. He's managed to get all through high school without help. Hell, he even managed three years of college without it. Actually, he ignored it for three years and let the work pile up until it became one big problem. _

_He has assignments to makeup, projects that need to be finished, and a few major tests that need to be passed. He's come to the realization that he can't do this alone. _

_So he finds her number on a bulletin board in the cafeteria. She's a tutor, one of the best so he's heard. He has a feeling this girl can help him. So he calls her and he's told to meet her in the library after class the next day. _

_He's there early with coffee for both of them. He's munching on cracker jacks waiting for her as he skims over his books. He throws the prize from the box, some bracelet, in the trash when he sees her walking towards him._

_Her blonde hair falls past her shoulders and her hips sway in the jeans she's wearing. Brown eyes and a smile to go with them as his heart's melting in a different way than it ever did before. She looks familiar, but he can't place her face._

_She looks up at him sitting at the table and her smile fades. She stops in her tracks and readjusts her bag on her shoulders before turning back towards the exit. _

_He watches her turn away from him and his brow scrunches. He's out of his seat and out the door in search of her in a matter of seconds. When he sees her he reaches out for her arm and spins her around._

"_What!?" She screams._

"_Where are you going?" He asks in a calm voice. _

_She runs her fingers through her hair, a move he finds very sexy. "I can't tutor you." She simply says before turning around. He spins her around again and she lets out a frustrated sigh._

"_What do you mean you can't tutor me?"_

"_You're Nathan Scott." She says like it's that simple. He shrugs his shoulders. "Do you have any idea who I am?"_

"_You're Haley James. My supposed to be tutor." _

_She shakes her head, letting out an annoyed laugh. "I'm Haley." She says looking straight at him. "As in the girl you went to high school with for four years!" She yells at him. He still can't place her. Even after that piece of information he still can't ever imagine going to high school with this girl. He definitely would have noticed her. "Haley James." She says again. "As in Lucas' best friend. You know the guy you tortured all throughout high school."_

_He knows her now. She's his brother's best friend. He can't believe he hadn't recognized her until now. She's changed a lot. Her hair isn't brown anymore, but blonde. She's beautiful. How come he didn't notice her in high school?_

"_I'm sorry." She says, pulling him from his trance. "But I can't tutor you."_

"_Why?" He asks as she's about to turn away from him._

"_Did you not just hear what I just said?"_

"_Yeah, I did, but what does that have to do with anything?"_

"_You're a jerk!" She says loudly, turning a few heads of the people walking by. He stares at her. He hasn't been called a jerk in a while. He'll admit, in high school he was to most people. But this is college and a lot of things have changed._

_He shakes his head. "I used to be a jerk." He corrects her. "I'm not that guy anymore."_

"_Really?" She kinks her brow at him, not believing him. "What guy are you now?"_

"_I'm the guy asking for your help." He pleads. "Look, if I don't finish my assignments and pass these tests its bye, bye basketball and I can't have that. It's everything to me. So I'm asking for your help. Please?"_

"_I don't know, Nathan." She sighs. She can already feel herself giving in. And she hates herself for it, because now she's like those girls in high school that could never say no to his smirk. _

"_Look, I'm sorry about high school and for torturing Lucas, but…if I get into the NBA I'll probably never even come back to Tree Hill and you and Luke will never have to see me again." He's relieved when he sees her chuckle._

_She doesn't agree because of his offer. She agrees because of the desperate look in his eyes. She knows basketball isn't just a game to him. He's willing to get on his hands and knees and beg for the thing he wants most in his life. That's why she agreed. Neither knows what they're up against. She thinks it's just going to be tutoring and nothing more._

_He has a feeling Haley James will change his world._

He never thought asking her to tutor him would lead to marriage. He fell in love with Haley. He fell head over heels for her. It just wasn't the same as most would think.

He knows this is hard on Haley. They married young and here they are at almost twenty-three and already divorcing. He went against his father's orders when he proposed and she said it was all going to be OK. He feels like he ruined a part of her life. And he knows most of it is his fault. But he doesn't want to see Haley hurt.

Because no matter what he says or what she says, Nathan does love Haley. He's just not in love with her like he thought he was.

It sounds bad to say that. And part of him feels like he took advantage of Haley. Like she was just a place holder for someone else that was supposed to be there in his life. Sometimes it came across in his mind that she kind of was.

He's glad she doesn't have to be that anymore.

His game has gotten better. He can feel it. It's all different to him now. In high school he played because his dad wanted him to. In college, it was because he wanted to get into the NBA. Now, it's because he loves this game and he knows what it feels like to have it taken away from him. And he'll be damned if her lets that happen again.

But today, he's played enough. He grabs his bag and walks into the locker room for a quick shower and to change and before he knows it he's walking down the old blue and white halls as memories of high school rush back to him.

_He's always been excited to see her. Even though he looks into those green eyes every single day, there's still a chill that runs up his spine when she smiles at him. They're eighteen and they still can't get their act together. In a few months they're going off to college and then what?_

_Peyton hasn't made a decision on college yet. She doesn't even know if she's going. He made her apply to at least a few (Duke especially), but if she had the choice she wouldn't leave that red bedroom and face the world._

_Nathan's still waiting for that one offer. He's gotten a few from NC State and UNC, but it's always been Duke for him. He doesn't want to settle for anything less. His dad says any day now and he'll get the call. _

_He never expected it to be today. _

_He's standing on her porch, reaching for the door knob, not bothering to knock, when his phone starts vibrating. He expects it to be Peyton, wondering where he is, but he doesn't recognize the number._

"_Hello?" He listens to the man introduce himself and he can't believe he's really talking to the one and only Coach K on the other end. A smile forms on his lips when he hears that he's going to Duke. _

_Nathan listens to the other not so important information before managing out a 'goodbye' and a 'thank you' before the call ends. He can't move from the shock of it all. He can't even bring the phone away from his ears. That smile's still intact when Peyton answers the door._

"_Nathan?" Peyton says with a small smirk on her face. His goofy expression is amusing to her. "You OK?"_

_He can't form words yet, but he looks down at the new noise. Those green eyes. They've always seem to be there when the most important things in his life happen. Those green eyes. And, to him, nothing else._

"_Duke." He mumbles under her gaze. She kinks her brow stepping towards him and shutting the door behind her. _

"_Excuse me?" She sees the phone in his hand and her stomach seems to sink. "Nathan? Nathan, what's wrong? Are you OK?" She's expecting bad news, thinking he didn't get into Duke or something._

"_Duke." He says again. His smile grows wider when her hand lands on his arm. "I just…I…" He lets out a chuckle. It all seems so unreal to him. "I just got a full ride to Duke." _

_He looks down at her, his smile showing all his pearly white teeth. She lets out a laugh before jumping up and hugging him._

"_Nathan!" Her arms swing around his neck and he has to check his balance before she knocks him over. "I'm so happy for you." She mutters into his ear. He holds her a few more seconds until he feels her lips against his cheeks. His smile is turned into a shocked one and his grip on her hips loosens. _

_She just kissed him with her strawberry lips and suddenly the recent news he's just received doesn't seem as important as that kiss. This really is the best day of his life. _

_She lands back on her feet and looks up at him, not thinking anything of the kiss. He doesn't drop his hands from her hips just yet when an idea forms in his head. _

"_Peyton?" He says to her. She's already walked away from him to take a seat on the porch swing waiting for him. He takes his normal seat and turns to face her with a serious expression._

"_Come with me." He breathes out faster than he should. _

_She kinks her brow and gives him a mischievous smirk. "What?"_

"_You and I both don't want high school to be over. If we both go to Duke then it won't be as hard then it would be if we were separated."_

"_But I haven't even gotten my acceptance letter yet."_

"_You'll get it." He says leaning closer to her. His voice is so sure of it that even she believes it. She can see it in his eyes that he really wants her to go. She's just not sure if she can take four more years of just pretending they're really just friends. _

"_Look, Peyton, you've always been right there when my dreams have come true. I want to be right there for yours. You're my best friend and I don't want to go off to Duke and you be here or at some other college or some where else in the world. I want you to be right there, Peyton, like you have been for most of my life."_

"_Nathan…" She shakes her head trying to protest. But she can't really come up with any argument without too much spilling out. Without the truth coming out. _

"_Promise me if, when, you get your acceptance letter…you'll go to Duke with me."_

_She stares at him. Looking into his eyes on the happiest day of his life. She knows she'll never forget that look for as long as she lives. They're filled with joy and dreams and everything he wants. She can't say no to those eyes. She wouldn't dare._

_She nods her head, feeling as if tears will spill out. "OK."_

He never realized how much of a liar Peyton could be.

"Nathan?" He hears his brother's voice at the end of the parking lot. He doesn't want to turn around, but he's been spotted and anything else would be plain rude to do.

He watches Lucas walk towards him in a grey polo and jeans. He's wearing one of the biggest smiles Nathan's ever seen and his eyes are shining. Nathan wishes he didn't notice these things. He wishes he didn't know why he knows these things.

"Hey, Luke." Nathan says with his best fake smile. It's not that he's not happy to see his brother. He loves Lucas. It's just hard to see him when he knows there's Peyton involved.

"What are you doing here?"

He searches for an answer. One that doesn't give him away. He's thankful he changed into simple jeans before walking back out to his car. "Taking a walk down memory lane I guess." He says. It's not a lie really. Being in that gym makes him feel like he's in high school again. Sometimes it feels great. Sometimes it feels like a burden.

Lucas glances to the school and then back to Nathan. "Must be hard seeing all that."

"Not really." He shakes his head. "That's in the past. It's time to move on."

Lucas nods and shuffles from foot to foot. He sees his brother's nervousness and wonders why the guy is acting like this when it should really be Nathan acting nervous. Lucas has the girl. Nathan's the one pining for her.

So," Nathan draws out, "I haven't seen Peyton in a few days."

"She's up in New York with Brooke discussing payment plans or something." Nathan nods, thinking that explains everything. "Speaking of, Peyton told me that you were the one that convinced her to open the gallery."

Nathan shakes his head, ready to protest. "You gave her the idea and everything. You convinced her to not take that teaching job. That's all you, man." Lucas says trying not to sound jealous. Really, he wishes it was him that had the idea and not Nathan. "Why'd you do it?"

Nathan shrugs. "I just gave her what she wanted. I could never see Peyton teaching. Haley, I could definitely see it and for you it just made sense, but Peyton…that wasn't what she wanted. I just had to give her a little push."

"Well, thanks, I guess. She's really excited. She hasn't stopped talking about it." Lucas smiles. Nathan smiles too, only his is different. He wants to be that guy Peyton talks to about her business.

"I got to get going." Nathan announces and gives his brother a small wave before hitching his bag up and turning away.

"Hey, Nate!" Lucas calls out and waits for Nathan to look back at him. "I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. It's just with the whole divorce going on, I, I…I don't want to take sides." He admits with a sigh. "I know Haley's my best friend, but you're my brother and…"

"Luke." Nathan stops him. "Its fine, man. I'm fine. Haley needs you." He says only because he feels as if he _has_ to say it. Like he needs to prove that he doesn't need his own brother to help him get through his divorce. But he does. He may not show it, but this is hard on him. Really hard. And he wants to hear from Lucas that he's not taking sides or something that just helps. But he doesn't. Instead he sees a relieved smile on his brother's face.

"OK." Lucas nods. "You know I'm here if you need me." Nathan nods and watches as his brother walks into the school building, leaving Nathan standing there wondering about his own trust for his brother. None of the words his brother spoke seemed real.

He never realized how much of a liar Lucas could be.

--

She knew Brooke could be stubborn, but this is just ridiculous.

"Brooke, I'm going to pay you back every cent." Peyton states for what feels like the hundredth time in the past twenty-four hours. They're sitting in Brooke's penthouse living room sipping coffee, relaxing from the day they've had.

Brooke's dragged her everywhere. In and out of stores and even showed off her office. Peyton knows Brooke's proud of the things she's accomplished and so is she. Brooke's done a lot for herself in these last few years, from making clothes online to a multi-million dollar business. She's done most of it by herself which is an accomplishment in itself.

But she can't understand why Brooke won't take her money.

"No, Peyton!" Brooke yells, even though she's only two feet away. "Whether you have the money now or a year from now, I don't want it!"

"Brooke, I'm not gonna just let you buy me a building. It's not normal. Why can't I pay you back when I get the money?"

"Because, Peyton…" Brooke trails off.

"Brooke…"

"I know!" Brooke scoots closer to her on the couch and sets down hers and Peyton's coffee before taking her hand. "Peyton, I have millions of dollars that I'm never going to spend or know what to spend on. Now if I want to buy my best friend a rusty, worn down warehouse to make her dreams come true you better sure as hell believe I'm going to do it. And I don't want any of your money. So stop."

Peyton smiles, knowing the fight's over. They both knew Brooke was going to win. She always does. "Thank you, Brooke. It means a lot."

"No problem." Brooke smiles, slapping her friend's thigh and leaning back in her seat. "Now tell me about Lucas."

"Do I have to?" Peyton asks, not liking the idea of 'girl talk'.

"Peyton, Lucas is a boy. We talk about boys. It's what we do best."

Peyton chuckles. "He's amazing. He's sensitive, and he has the lamest jokes that he thinks are so funny, and…he writes these words, Brooke, that just melt my heart. You have no idea." She says staring off into space thinking about that smirk.

"Sounds like you really like him." Brooke comments.

"I do." Peyton says running her fingers through her hair. "I've never felt this way about a guy before."

"Not even Nathan?" Brooke lets slip out before she can really think about it.

She can see Peyton's blush and doesn't miss the fact that she tries to hide it by laughing. "You know Nathan and I are just friends."

"You've been saying that since high school." Brooke says. She knows Nathan has feeling for this girl. She also knows this girl has feeling for that boy that surpass being just friends. Who don't know it is the two themselves.

"Brooke, Nathan's divorced, or almost divorced, and he's Luke's brother."

"That's a weird threesome." She says expecting the kick from Peyton followed by laughter.

But Brooke didn't mean it like that. She meant it as a love triangle. And no one likes to be in a love triangle.

--

"So, how's New York?" Lucas asks when he's talking to Peyton on that night.

"It's great. I forgot how beautiful it could be until you're up at three in the morning begging for sleep." Peyton laughed into the phone as she walked around Brooke's penthouse looking for something to do while her friend slept. "But tomorrow I'll be in my own bed sleeping peacefully." She sighed, earning a chuckle from Lucas.

"You having fun?"

"Yeah, I really missed Brooke. It's hard having her in New York and being in Tree Hill."

"Well, you guys have been doing it for years and you're still friends. That really says something."

Peyton couldn't help but smile. Lucas always knew how to make her feel better. "So what have you been up to these last few days?"

"Oh, not much. I'm trying to keep my mind on the team, you know? We're expected to win big this season."

"You'll do great." Peyton assures.

Lucas goes off talking about something or another and she listened for a full minute before her mind wandered off. She cared about what he was saying; she just saw something that caught her eye. Lucas didn't even mention Nathan and still she's thinking about him.

She picks up a picture that she sees herself in. It's of her and Brooke and Nathan when they were teenagers not too long ago. They're outside at school sometime during lunch. One of their friends took it when none of them were looking. It was a game day. Peyton and Brooke were in their usual cheerleading uniforms while Nathan's wearing a dress shirt and tie.

She always liked it when he dressed up. It made him look more mature. It was one reason why she loved game day so much. It really felt like high school to them.

_It's a decision she's not ready to make. It's one she doesn't want to make. _

_She has two choices. Two pieces of paper that just showed up in the mail on the exact same day. If that's not a sign she doesn't know what is._

_She expected to see her acceptance letter to Duke and for a second she was excited she was going to be going to college with Nathan and they didn't have to leave each other. But then she saw that other letter. The one to a summer internship in L.A. And her heart stops almost immediately._

_She knows it's just an internship and it's not really an official job and it's just for the summer. But she knows if she goes to L.A. for that internship she's not coming back and that it will turn into a job. A job that she wants and is dying to have. _

_She can't tell Nathan that, not yet anyway. So she calls her dad. He tells her that he's proud of her and that whatever decision she makes will be a great one. That doesn't help her much. She calls Brooke over and her friend's too excited thinking they're going to spend the summer together in L.A. Brooke wants her in L.A. and never even thought twice about Duke._

_It helps to know that if she does go to L.A. then Brooke would be there. But it doesn't help to ease the feeling she has about growing up and getting a job and leaving her best friend. She doesn't want to break her promise to him._

_But she really wants to do this. _

"_You OK?" Nathan asks walking up the steps to her house. He sees her tears and knows that she's not OK. "Peyton…"_

"_I got to tell you something." She whispers._

"_OK." He nods, preparing himself for anything. She removes her arm from under the blanket she's under and hands him a piece of paper. He doesn't bother to read, only skims over it. "What is this?"_

"_I got accept to an internship for Sire Records in L.A." _

"_Peyton, that's great." He smiles, not noticing her sad little face._

"_It's not."_

"_What? Why?"_

"_Because, it's L.A. and you'll be here." She starts to ramble and he lets her for a long while until he can't take it anymore._

"_Peyton, it's only for the summer. I mean, so what, we have to cancel our summer plans. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Peyton. You can't pass this up."_

"_Nathan, you don't understand." She looks up at him for the first time and sees his confusion. "They say if I do well then there might be a job offer for me. A paying job."_

_She sees the disappointment wash over him. "Which means you wouldn't be coming back for college."_

_Peyton scoots closer to him. "Look at it this way, Nathan; I didn't even want to go to college. And music is what I really wanted to do, so why should I go to college when I can start a career now?" She's trying something they both know she won't succeed at. She knows he doesn't want her to go and knows that he'll never really be OK with it. But she just needs to hear it. Then maybe she can pretend that he really is._

"_Yeah…you're right." He nods._

"_Nathan, I'm really excited about this. And I want you to be happy for me."_

"_I am." He assures. He really is. It's what she wants. "I'm just kind of sad you're leaving." _

"_Summer's not for a few weeks. We have plenty of time together."_

"_You sure?" She nods and his smiles seems real that time. They sat on that same porch just weeks ago talking about his acceptance to Duke, with him making her promise she'll be going along with him. Now they sit there as their hearts break because she's breaking that promise and following her own dreams. He can't help but feel how none of it feels right._

_She wishes she could make herself feel that._

She never told Nathan about the acceptance letter to Duke. She never thought it was important. Sometimes she'll whip it out and stare at the black and white page and wonder if she should've gone to Duke with Nathan.

Sometimes she wishes she did. Things would be a lot different if she did.

"Peyton?" Lucas pulls her out of her trance.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing over there? You seem distracted."

"Sorry, I was just…making something to eat." She lies, setting the picture back on the table and heading into the kitchen for a drink.

"Well, my mom called today. She told me she's coming into town in a few weeks and would really like to meet you." She's still not paying attention as her mind wanders back to Nathan again.

"That sounds great." She says without even hearing him.

"OK. Well, I'll tell her." He smiles. "I got to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, Peyt."

"Goodnight, Luke." She slams her phone shut and slumps down into the stool beside her. She rests her head against the marble counter letting out a large sigh.

It's another night she goes to bed thinking about Nathan instead of Lucas.


	6. Chapter 6

We start planning out our lives before we even start living them. We dream of being celebrities with big houses and expensive cars. As we grow older, we start to think more realistically. Being doctors and teachers with mediocre lives. For Nathan, that famous lifestyle he'd always dreamed of only grew as he did. He wanted it all. Money, the big house, and all because he played a game he loved.

But life is funny sometimes. Or to Nathan, just cruel.

It's not what he ever expected for himself.

A two bedroom apartment with one bathroom on the outskirts of town. In college, maybe. His and Haley's first home definitely. But when he's twenty-three years old and doesn't have a job…not so much. For most, it'd be the dream, but this was never his dream.

He planned on being in the NBA by now, living big in a mansion and a pool in the backyard with a full court. Not…this. But it's kind of like what they say. Life never turns out the way you planned.

So he moves his things into this new apartment by himself. He doesn't want anyone's help. He can't feel helpless. He won't feel helpless. That's not Nathan Scott. It takes him longer than most, but he finally gets it done.

Now all he has to do is unpack it all.

It's hard enough putting your memories in a box, but having to take them out and think back to those times again is even harder. Mostly because all those memories are of Peyton.

For the night, he leaves the boxes there, not bothering and not wanting to open them. He looks at his pale walls. He doesn't want to paint them, wouldn't know what color to pick or how much to get. He's never had to decorate his own place. He's never wanted to. A fridge full of food and a big screen TV and he's set. That's all any man ever needs.

But he might know who to call for everything else.

--

She's late.

And being late has never bothered her before, in fact she kind of enjoyed being late. But she's an adult now and she has a business she's trying to start and she can't be late. She has contractors to meet with, renovations to do, and phone calls to make. She doesn't have time to mess around. She can't be late.

Lucas is making her late.

She knew staying the night with him would be a bad idea. Now she has to drive back to her house to change and then into town.

The thing is she doesn't want to go home. She loves her room, she loves her house, but she wants one for herself. Not one that her father pays for. She wants to do things for herself. She doesn't want other people's help. That's not Peyton Sawyer.

She's busy today. She's looking for an apartment on her lunch break, making sure everything is how it should be over at the warehouse, and others things she's not entirely sure she can control.

So being late wasn't the best way to start off the day.

And Lucas following her out the door isn't the best way for her to leave.

"Just stay for breakfast. You haven't eaten anything." He pleads following Peyton into the kitchen as she's rushing to put her shoes on and grabbing her purse.

"I can't! I have to go." He grabs her hand and twirls her back around to face him. His hands wrap around her hips and he's giving her that smirk that she finds she can't resist. "You know, this is all your fault."

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm." She nods. "I believe your exact words were, 'Stay a while and I'll make it worth your while'."

"I said that?" He kinks his brow earning a nod from her. "Damn, I'm good." He mumbles into her neck.

"Yes, you are, but nothing you say is going to get me to stay now." She says pushing away from him and reaching for her keys. He breathes out a defeated sigh and sits himself down at the table.

"So, what are your important plans today anyway?" He asks reaching for a mug to make himself some coffee.

"Well, I have to call Brooke and discuss that whole money thing. The contractors are coming today. The roof is getting fixed and I have an inspector to come and check mold or whatever else is growing in those disgusting walls. Design some business cards…"

"Shouldn't you have a name before you go making business cards?" Lucas interrupts.

"I'm going to think of one. Oh and when I find a break from it all, I'm going to find an apartment."

Lucas' head shot up at the sound of _apartment_. He knew she wanted to get out of her old house. He knew she wasn't going to stay there forever. But an apartment is totally useless.

"Hey, Peyt." Lucas calls out to her just as she's walking out the door. She stops in her tracks and turns back to him. "Can I ask you something?"

--

He wakes up to nothing but the quiet.

He's been doing that a lot lately. It doesn't bother him. It's just, for some reason, he always expects there to be a noise when he opens his eyes in the morning. A crash, a bang, a shatter, something. But there never is. It's just…silence.

He fixes breakfast for one. It's not much, just a bowl of cereal. But he doesn't miss the days when it used to be a bottle of Jack Daniels.

He eats in silence. He doesn't turn on the TV in fear of hearing, and missing, basketball. He doesn't listen to music, because that was kind of Peyton's thing, not his. So he eats, and he eats slowly, in no rush at all. He doesn't have anywhere to go anyway.

After he eats, he finds himself wanting to work out. He goes back to his room and throws on a tee shirt and some shoes. He'll go to the Rivercourt. Its school hours so Lucas or anyone won't be there. Just like he likes it.

There's a knock on his door just as he grabs his ball and when he opens the door it's a shock to see Haley standing there. She's in those skinny jeans he loves and a red tank top. Her hair's pulled back with a few strands falling out. She looks nervous to be here as her fingers outline the papers in her hands.

She looks beautiful and all he can he wonder is how she found out where he lives.

"Hey." He says holding himself up by the door.

"Hi." She says looking up into his blue eyes. They stand there for a few awkward seconds wondering who should speak next. She figures she came here, maybe she should say something. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah." He says shaking away the complete shock from him and opening the door wider for her. She walks in and he watches her as her eyes travel around the room taking it all in. "I'm, I'm sorry, but how did you…how did you know I was here?"

"Lucas told me." She says turning back to him. "I just wanted to bring you your mail. Technically, you still live at the house." She says handing him the stack of envelopes.

"Thanks." He says glancing at the papers before throwing them on a nearby table. "How are you?"

"Good."

"Good." He nods.

"This place looks great." She comments taking another glance around the house.

"You think?" He says walking into the kitchen to grab himself a water bottle before returning to the living room. She gives him a questioning look and he chuckles. "It's just…at twenty-three I never expected myself to be living _here_."

"I know." She says softly taking a seat next to him on the couch. "Is that why you've been avoiding unpacking?" She says motioning to all the boxes around them.

"Kind of. Other reasons." He smiles.

"If it bothers you that much, Nathan, you can move back into the house. It is _your_ house by the way. I'll move out."

"No." He says sternly.

"Nathan, you bought that house with your shoe contract money. The cars, the house, it's all yours."

"I know." He nods. "But I don't want it. I'm not going to ask to move out. I'm not going to take away your car. I'm not that kind of guy, Haley. You can have it all."

"I know you're not that guy." She says looking over at him. "But I'm not going to live in that big house by myself."

"Then sell it." He shrugs. He really doesn't want the house. He doesn't want to make Haley move out of it. He doesn't want it if it's something he gets out of a divorce. He doesn't want it if it's something he bought from a past life. "Do whatever you want with it, Haley, because it's not my house anymore. For the time being, this is my home."

She smiles at him. Really smiles at him. It's real and beautiful and it's the same smile he fell in love with. This girl is beautiful. She's gorgeous. But he's not in love with her anymore like he used to be. And he can tell she's not in love with him anymore.

"So, if this is gonna be your home, how about I help unpack?" She says reaching for a box and opening it.

He sits there, staring at her, wondering if she's just trying to hide the awkwardness. He's sure she's not, because he can't even feel it.

"Don't you have work today?"

"Actually, I'm kind of paying hooky. I called in sick."

"Haley James, you rebel." He chuckles. She smiles and turns away because of the blush. Neither notices that not too long ago he was calling her Haley James Scott.

"Hey, sometimes I need a break too. Now do you want me to help you or not?"

"Of course."

--

"Hey, Peyt." Lucas calls out to her just as she's walking out the door. She stops in her tracks and turns back to him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." She says walking back inside and shutting the door behind her.

Lucas stands from his seat and strides over to her, taking her in his arms. He stares down at her green eyes and wonders if what he's about to ask is truly the right thing to do.

She huffs and repositions herself so her hand's on her hip and he loves to see her aggravated. Her brow's kinked and she opens her mouth to say something until he cuts her off.

"Move in with me."

She freezes, trying to process his words. Did he just say what she thinks he just said? She looks up at him to see if he's joking, but he's not. He's wearing that boyish grin and his eyes tell her he's totally serious.

"Lucas, don't be crazy." She says pushing away from him, only to have him pull back.

"I'm not." He says seriously. "I've never been more serious, Peyt."

"I can't just move in with you though." She says as if it's the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard.

"Why? You're practically here all the time anyway. And it's closer to town. It will save you a lot of time and money." He says pleadingly. He wants her here. He loves having her here. He doesn't want her to leave. He doesn't want her anywhere else.

"You don't think this is too fast?" She asks looking up at him with her glossy eyes.

"I think this is what feels right."

She smiles and ducks her head into his chest. She doesn't think it over like she should. She acts on impulse and she seems to be doing a lot of that lately. "I guess I'll have to pack then." He wraps his arms around her and she can feel his smile in her hair. Her worries over being late are long gone. She finds herself laughing and leaning up to meet his lips.

It's what feels right to her too.

--

"_Nathan, stop!" Haley squealed as she and Nathan sat on the couch in his apartment. _

"_What? I'm not doing anything!" He laughs at her, reaching around her side and tickling her. She squeals again, moving further down the couch._

_They've been doing this a lot lately. Instead of studying, they watch movies and goof off. He'll take her to the bar down the street for a beer and she'll take him to small coffee shops where there's always artists playing. She's introduced him to Lucas a few times and he knows it's going to be a while before start calling the other 'brother', but maybe one day._

"_Nathan Scott, if you don't stop I'm leaving!" She says standing from the couch and taking one step before being pulled back down beside Nathan._

"_No, no, no. I'm sorry." He says sincerely. "You can't just leave. The movie's not even over yet." She looks up at him and gives him a stern look. "I promise I won't do it again."_

"_Good." She smiles turning back to the screen to finish the movie._

_It's not long before he's not watching the movie anymore, but staring down at her. She's stunning. And she doesn't judge him like everyone else. She doesn't put up with his BS like most would and she made him prove to her that he really wasn't that person she thought he was. He likes that about her._

_He's still staring at her when her body repositions sometimes during the movie and he thinks maybe it's now or never. _

_So he kisses her._

_He just leans down and captures her lips with his. She's too shocked from it all to push away. She's stiff at first but after that first second she falls into a comfortable atmosphere. The kiss doesn't last for more than three seconds at most, but he thinks it might be the greatest three seconds he's ever experienced. _

_He pulls away, staring down at her, looking for any sign of regret._

"_Why'd you do that?" Haley asks looking up at him._

"_I've wanted to do that for a long time now." He admits quietly. "I…I don't want to be just your friend anymore, Haley. I want to be able to do this," He says taking hold of her hand and looking back up at her, "and have you smile at me with that beautiful smile." _

"_I'm your tutor." She musters out._

"_I know."_

"_And we're friends."_

"_We were friends. Whether we're more than that or not is up to you."_

_She doesn't look up at him. She can't. Those blue eyes are too intense for her and for this situation. Maybe she does want more. Nathan's proved he's a great guy. He's sweet and sometimes gentle. He'll do anything to keep his dream alive. And she knows he's really trying with Lucas. _

_He's not the Nathan Scott he was in high school. That's all he's ever wanted her to know._

"_Lucas isn't going to like this." She says quietly; finally look back up at him. He breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees her smile. That one line and that simple smile tell him that it's OK. That this is what she wants to._

_He leans forward a bit more, brushing his lips along her cheek. "We'll just have to convince him that maybe we're perfect for each other." He says before planting his lips to hers._

There was a time when Nathan and Haley were_ just _friends. Before dating, and young marriages, before NBA drafts, and shards of glass in your spine they were actually really good friends. What happened along the way was that he realized he wanted more with her.

He took that step. And he got what he wanted.

After that night, Haley called Lucas about her news. He wasn't happy at first, but eventually dealt with it. Lucas knew that if Haley was making the decision it was most likely the right decision.

Nathan didn't call Peyton after his and Haley's first kiss. He didn't feel like he had to and it had been so long since they had spoken that any form of communication would have been just…weird.

So, he and Haley started dating. They spent hours in the park, him trying to learn math, her trying to teach it to him, and then they'd enjoy the others company for the rest of the day. She wouldn't sleep with him and that really didn't come as a surprise to him. Haley's not the type of girl that just sleeps around. He likes that about her. She has morals and knows what she wants in a relationship.

He fell in love with her for those reasons. It didn't take him long to either. Just a few months. They had said their 'I love you's' and hearing her say it to him, he just knew this was the girl.

So, he took his grandmother's wedding ring she had given him before she died and placed it in his pocket for what felt like weeks. Nathan took her to the library of all places he could have gone to propose. It was kind of special to them. It's where they had their first tutoring session.

With students crowding them, he got down on one knee, took the ring out of his pocket and asked the question he's dying to here an answer for.

It's funny how life works out. He planned on spending the rest of his life with Haley. He never planned on having her help unpack his things into his apartment when they're in the middle of a divorce. But he can't complain.

"You really have known Peyton your entire life haven't you." Haley says looking at a picture of Peyton and Nathan when they looked to be about seven years old.

Nathan looks over the shoulder at the picture of him and Peyton when they spent an entire day at an amusement park together with their parents.

"Yeah, I guess I have." He says turning away from the photo and moving around some more boxes. He doesn't really want to talk about Peyton and everyone seems to want to bring her up to him.

"Lucas told me she was starting some kind of art gallery. How's that going?" She asks turning around to face him.

"I'm not sure actually. I haven't talked to her today."

"Oh." She says turning back to the pictures. All the pictures of him and Peyton as they grew up together. She knows he loves this girl and would do anything for her. But that tone in his voice has her thinking that maybe her earlier predictions of the two friends might have been wrong.

"Hey, look what I found." Nathan says picking up a picture and handing it to Haley.

She stares at the photo for what feels like forever. It's of her and Nathan at an old ice cream shop near Duke. He took her there when their reservations got cancelled at some fancy restaurant he planned on taking her to. He snapped the picture when he leaned over with chocolate all over face and kissed her. She's laughing that beautiful laugh he used to hear a lot of and he's smiling this wide smile that's seemed to disappear lately.

Nathan takes the seat beside Haley and they both continue to stare at the picture.

"That was our two month anniversary." Nathan says for no reason other than to remember.

Haley looks over at him, shock and a smile gracing her face. "You remembered."

"Of course I did. That was a pretty great day."

"Yeah it was."

Haley sets the picture down and begins sifting through more pictures. There's some with him and his dad and him and his mom. A few with Lucas and others of his old buddies from high school. Most are of Peyton. And when Haley comes across one of the two them at some high school party the silence in the room becomes awkward.

"What happened to us, Haley?" Nathan asks noticing she's staring at that one particular picture. Haley sets the picture down and looks over at him. "Things used to be so great between us. Even in those first few months of our marriage we were happy. What happened?"

"The accident changed us, Nathan." She says softly.

"I guess so."

They both wish they could blame it on the accident. But they can't. Things did change after the accident, but that's what marriage is. Facing change and being able to be the same person in the end. He couldn't be that same person without his dream and she couldn't be that person without the old Nathan.

Without basketball, Nathan turned back into this guy he hated. Haley sat by and watched it all happen. The accident isn't what changed them. They did.

"Haley," He says waiting for her eyes to meet his. She thinks he's going to say something sweet, like he misses her or still loves her, but then again she doesn't want to hear any of that. That part of her life, of_ their_ lives, is over. "Thanks for helping me unpack today."

She gives him a small smile while bowing her head. "Thanks for letting me help."

"I just never would have gotten around to doing all of this without you."

"No problem." She says softly. "I better get going." She stands from the couch and maneuvers around him to get to the door. He stays seated on the couch waiting to hear the door click.

"Nathan." He turns in his seat to see Haley standing in the doorway awkwardly, clutching her purse to her chest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He nods.

"Lucas told me he saw you coming out of the gym the other day." His heart stopped when she told him that. It's not some sort of secret he's been keeping from the world, it's just something he doesn't want a lot of people to know about.

"Are you…are you playing again, Nathan?" She says trying her hardest to keep her eyes on him.

He stands from his seat and strides over to her. "Yes." He says quietly, staring into her brown eyes. "And I know it's dangerous and I know no one thinks I can do this, but I have to try."

"You know what the doctor said, Nathan, you're lucky to be walking right now. Are you willing to risk everything for basketball?" She already knows the answer. Of course he is. He always has been. To him, basketball is everything. And that chair and that inability to play are the only things keeping him from playing.

"I know I can do it, Haley."

"OK." She nods, as if giving him some sort of approval. He knows he doesn't need it, but it's comforting to have. "Just…be careful." She says placing her hand on his arm. "No one liked the person you became when you were in that chair."

"Thanks, Haley."

--

"Whoa!" Nathan says upon entering Peyton's bedroom only to see clothes and boxes strewn everywhere. "Looks like your closet blew up."

Peyton stops what she's doing to throw him a scowl causing him to laugh. "What are you doing here?" She asks throwing more clothes into boxes.

"You were supposed to be over at my place at five."

She freezes, remembering her and Nathan's plans to unpack his apartment. She'd been so caught up in her happiness that she'd forgotten to help out her friend. "Nathan, I'm so sorry. I forgot. We can do it tomorrow."

"It's OK. Haley actually came by and helped."

"Really?" She kinks her brow, dropping the shirt in her hand and walking over to her bed. "No fighting?"

"No." He chuckles. "We just talked. I forgot about how sweet she could be."

She doesn't make a comment about Haley. Peyton doesn't know enough about her to say something nice or even mean. She just assumes (from Nathan's words) that Haley James really is a sweetheart.

"So, you don't really need my help with the apartment?" She asks seeing him shake his head. "Good, 'cause I need your help packing up my stuff."

"You found a place." His smile grows. "Peyton, that's great! Where is it?"

"Umm…" She trails. She bows her head and avoids his eyes. It's something she knows he won't like. "Lucas, kind of asked me to move in with him." She says quietly seeing his smile fade.

"Oh."

"What…what was that?"

"What was what?"

"That 'oh'." She says seeing the confusion fall over him. "It wasn't an excited 'oh' and it wasn't an angry 'oh'. So, what kind of 'oh' was it?" She rambles. And he chuckles because she's always been cute when she rambles.

"It's just…you guys just started dating a few months ago. Don't you think it's a little fast?"

"Coming from the guy who got married two weeks after asking the girl out." She jokes, both knowing it's just a playful joke.

"And look how well that turned out. Peyton, I know you and you've never been one to just jump into something. And with Lucas it's like everything I ever thought about you is different. You're different."

She sighs, running her skinny fingers through her hair. She knows where he's coming from. He's being protective and she loves it, but this is her decision and it's something she wants to do.

"I know this all seems sudden, but you of all people should know that Lucas is a great guy. And he makes me happy, Nate. And moving in with him would be so much easier for me. It's closer to work and I'm already always there anyway…"

"OK, so not the picture to have…"

"And maybe…" She trails, "maybe…I think I'm falling for him." She says quietly, somewhat hoping he didn't really hear that.

"Oh." She really hates that that's the only thing he can say regarding Lucas.

Nathan knows Luca sis a great guy. He knows Lucas would take care of her. But he always kind of hoped it'd be just him taking care of her.

"Nathan," She says turning in her seat, "I really want to move in with Lucas and I want to be with him and I want it to be OK with you because you're my best friend, Nathan, and no Lucas or Haley is ever going to change that."

He stares at her emerald eyes and all he can see is how much she's changed.

"You know, I unpacked all these same memories this morning." He says smiling. "It's going to be a pain in my ass to pack them back up." He says before she jumps on top of him with a hug. "Come on, Sawyer. Lets get to work."

They both stand from the bed and start moving around the room trying to find a place to start. She's folding clothes while he labels boxes and everything's quiet until she turns on that old record player.

He looks over at her when he recognizes the song playing and she smiles back because she knows exactly what he's thinking. And he loves that she just _knows_. She knows these little songs that played through out their childhood and stupid jokes he told her to cheer her up. He still knows her favorite flavor of ice cream and she can still remember the cheat codes he told her when he tried to teach her how to play video games.

They know these things about each to her that no one else does. And he knows Lucas will never know as much as Nathan does about Peyton Sawyer. He wouldn't have it any other way. But packing up these little memories and knowing where they're all going is really hard for him.

They've packed in silence for what feels like hours and they've managed to get most of it done. She can see the floor now and all of her paintings are gone, having been sent to the studio that morning. Her artwork from her teens, though, still lies on those walls.

"You remember this?" Nathan asks pointing to one drawing in particular. It's her stoplights, like the one her mom ran, and her high school motto. _People always leave_.

"Yeah." She says quietly walking over to him. It's not exactly a happy drawing and neither is her reply.

"Things were pretty dark back then, huh?"

"Sometimes. You helped me out a lot with that." She says smiling up at him. "Thanks for not being one of those people by the way.

"Never." He grins, watching as she goes back to her work. It's that motto that she used to live by that's been ringing in his ears for the past few months. She's always said that and most times it was true. Especially with Peyton. Her dad was never there, her mom was dead, Brooke was too caught up in her world, and sometimes it seemed as if Nathan was the only one that was _really_ there.

And he thinks of how _people always_ _leave_ and he thinks of how _she_ left.

"So, how's the studio going?" He asks for the sake of a conversation.

"Good. I never realized how much work it could be. You couldn't manage to find me a building that was you know…up to date." She laughs.

"Sorry. It just screamed Peyton Sawyer."

"I'm glad to know that when you see a moldy, bug infested building you think of me."

"Always." He jokes. She laughs and throws a sock at him before he shoves it inside a random box.

"Nathan?" She says from across the room. He stops what he's doing to look over at her. She's just standing there, staring at him, in all her beauty. "What did you mean earlier when you said I was different?"

"You've just changed that's all." He says nonchalantly.

"You think so?"

"What? You haven't noticed?" He asks with a smile. He chuckles when he sees her shake her head innocently. "You look different to start off with. Those curls," he says flipping a finger at the end of her hair, "They're gone. And those legs somehow seem longer. Your voice is different and…"

"My voice?" She kinks her brow.

"Yeah. And the way you dress it's…more mature, but not the Peyton Sawyer I remember." He says. "But I guess that thing kind of happens when you grow up."

"Is there anything that hasn't changed?" She asks playfully.

"Oh yeah." He nods. "That laugh and those eyes, the sarcasm." He chuckles. "I don't think those things will ever change."

"You're still the same." She says quietly peeking up to see if he caught it. He did. They share that quiet little moment together. Their going to lock it away in their minds with all the others and protect it with everything they have. They have a lifetime of these moments. A lot of them are missed opportunities.

Nathan breaks his gaze first and looks around to the now clean room. "Well, I guess we're done." She turns away from him to see the room to.

"Thanks for helping me, Nate."

"No problem.

"I'm gonna miss this old room." She says.

There's a lot to miss about this place. He's spent practically his entire life in this red bedroom with her. Sleepovers and late night talks. Music and movies that filled up their summer. Her father and mother cooking breakfast every Sunday. The pictures along the wall as you walked up the stairs. Now it's all packed into a few boxes. He's going to miss everything. But there's one thing that's always going to stick out.

"Yeah me too." He nods looking down to meet her eyes. She smiles up at him and he does that same. "You know what I'm gonna miss most about this place? Other than the red bedroom."

"What's that?"

"The girl who used to live in the red bedroom."

* * *

I know a lot of you are waiting for a good NP chapter and I PROMISE it's coming. Just give me like 2 or 3 chapters for _something_ to happen. The story is progressing. And I know I said Haley may seem like a bitch, but after last night's episode and then sitting down and trying to write mean Haley, I just couldn't do it. And plus, Haley doesn't seem like the typeperson (at least to me) that would be so bitter about it, but try to understand it.

So tell me your thoughts. I want to know what you think of LP moving in together and even the NH interaction.

Update may be soon. But wish me luck just in case =)


	7. Chapter 7

Oh, this chapter was hard for me to write. I just really want to go ahead and write the next one (which is going to be pretty big), but I finally got it done thanks to some sudden snow that got me out of school. It's weird how I only write when it's snowing, maybe I should move to like Alaska? But anyways, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

They say the eyes are the mirrors to your soul. You can tell a lot about a person by there eyes. You can see love and hate and secrets that aren't meant to surface.

If you looked into Peyton Sawyer's eyes you'd see a lifetime of tragedy, you'd see empty space for things that could've been, and you'd see a lot of mistakes. In Nathan Scott's you'd two things, a man that's given up on the thing he's always wanted and a man that's fighting for his life just to keep that one thing in his life.

As for Haley James, if you'd looked into her eyes you'd see nothing but a kind soul. But behind it all are all the built up emotions she's trying to escape.

Peyton watched the woman's eyes as she moved around the counters in the restaurant. Though, Haley wasn't looking directly at her, Peyton could still see it. All the pain this divorce is putting her through and all the questions she's been asking herself for the past few months.

She didn't want to be notice, but getting out was harder than expected.

"Peyton?"

No matter how fast she tried to leave or how many times she ducked behind someone, Haley still caught her. Peyton froze when she heard her name leave Haley's mouth. She's not sure why she's so nervous around this woman she's barely even met or talked to. She's not sure if it's because of her affiliation with Nathan or Lucas.

Peyton turns around, putting on a fake smile. "Haley?" She walks over to the counter, taking a seat on the stool. "Hi."

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Coffee break." She shrugs. Haley smiles and moves around the counter for the pot of coffee then going back to fill up a cup for Peyton. "Thanks. I didn't know you worked here."

"Oh I don't." Haley stammers. "Lucas' mom still owns the place and it's kind of hard to have Karen's Café without Karen, so I come in every once in a while and help out. I've been doing this since high school." She shrugs.

"That's cool." Peyton nods, not truly interested in the story.

"So, Lucas told me you moved in with him. How's that going?" Haley asks with a sly smile.

"Fine." She shrugs.

"Luke's a great guy, it's just he can be a slob sometimes. It can get kind of aggravating." They both laugh and it's real and for a second it feels like they're actually _bonding_.

"Nathan's kind of the same way." Peyton chuckles earning a nod from Haley. It doesn't feel like Haley was married to Nathan and Peyton's dating Lucas. It feels like these two women are just friends from high school and aren't connected through the men they've dated.

"Have you talked to him in the past few days? Nathan?" Haley asks just for the sake of conversation.

Peyton shakes her head. "Not really. I've been really busy with the gallery." The truth is Nathan hasn't been answering her phone calls. She's thinking he must be busy with basketball.

"So, how is the gallery by the way?"

"Really good." Peyton nods. "I'm hoping to get it running in a few weeks. You should come to the opening." Peyton suggest for a reason she can't think of. She knows Haley's not a bad person. She knows she's not the reason for Nathan's unhappiness. Nathan and Haley were just two people that didn't _fit _together. Peyton knows it. And so does Haley.

"Yeah, that'd be great." Haley smiles. "Well, I got to get back to work."

"I got to get back to the gallery anyway." Peyton says standing from the stool grabbing her purse and throwing down a few bills for her coffee. "It was nice seeing you, Haley."

"You too. Come around anytime." She says giving a small wave. Peyton waves back and turns to walk out the door. This doesn't feel weird to her. She's never had a conversation with Haley James in her entire life. And it doesn't feel weird. Haley feels like a person that_ needs _to be in Peyton's life.

"Peyton." The voice stops her. Peyton turns back to Haley to see her still standing behind the counter. Their only a few feet away, with a few customers surrounding them, but they feel like miles apart.

"Do me a favor…just don't hurt him." Haley says with a sad expression. She's late so she doesn't think much into it. She just gives a small smile and nods before walking out the door.

But later, when she really thinks about it, she wonders which '_him'_ Haley meant.

--

He's not mad at her. He's not avoiding her. It's not that he doesn't want to see her. It's that he can't see her.

It's looking into those eyes and seeing someone happy. Someone that looks content with the way things are. Someone that doesn't need him as much as he thought. He loves Peyton. He loves her as a friend; he loves her as more than that. But he's not going to be that guy that stands around and waits for her. He's never been that guy and he doesn't want to be that guy.

That's not Nathan Scott. And he's not going to change who Nathan Scott is for some girl.

So, he plays. He's in the gym everyday now. He doesn't care who walks in on him or how much pain going through. He doesn't care about the 'what if's' anymore. He just doesn't care anymore.

All he wants to do is play. He wants to play like he did back in high school. He knows that's probably a pipe dream, but so was being in the NBA.

And he's gotten better. He can run farther than the day before. He can shoot a three with little pain and he's so close to dunking he can feel it on the tips of his fingers.

This ball in his hands feels like it's all he has now. He knows Peyton's there for him, he knows him and Haley can be _just_ friends again, he knows his brother can be a brother, but this ball has always been there. And it makes him kind of sad to see that.

He knows it's a typical thing to say, but he really wants to be back in high school again. Back when Haley and Lucas were nothing to him. When Peyton was his best friend. When he could play like a pro. He wants all of that back.

And he's trying to get it all back.

And looking into those green eyes he feels like, for a split second, that he has it all again. He knows he doesn't, but it's just that feeling. And he knows he can't not see her.

"Hey you." He says walking up behind her.

She turns and there's that smile she's had since high school. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

He shrugs. "Thought I might come by and see the progress." He smiles. "This place looks great."

"You think so?" She asks, almost scared of the answer.

"Of course. It looks better than the day I saw it. Has Lucas seen this place yet?"

"No." She shakes her head. "I want him to be surprised when he see sit. He's kind of mad that I've banned him from it." She chuckles as does Nathan.

"He'll love it." Nathan assures her.

"Thanks." She says following his gaze. "There are just some things that I can't figure out."

"Like what?" he scrunches his brow.

"Like this wall." She says walking over to this blank wall. It's blank, covered in bricks. Her desk sits under it with papers strewn over it. "It's the first thing people are going to see when they walk in and I don't know what to put there. I don't want it to just be blank. There's got to be something important there."

"Well, what about one of your paintings?"

"I was thinking about what you said and putting a painting representing Tree Hill, but I don't know if I'll be done in time. Things are really crazy around here that I don't have anytime to paint."

"You'll get done." He assures her. "And it will be great, but until then, how about I help?"

"You sure?" She smiles up at him. He nods. "Well, then grab a brush and help." She says handing him a paint brush and going back to her own little spot on the wall. He dips the brush into the red paint and swiftly moves it up and down against the wall, the red paint rubbing in smoothly.

It's a relaxation from his day and something he really needs now, but he knows Peyton's sensing his awkwardness and a small part of him wants her to ask. But he knows she won't. Because that's not Peyton Sawyer. She's going to wait for you to say it. She's never been that person to force it out of you. It's something he loves about her.

They paint a whole wall and half of another one before one of them breaks the silence. There's music in the background and construction workers drilling and hammering nails and they've blocked all the noise out. That seems to happen when they're around each other. She stops and looks over at him and just stares at him. Blue eyes, raven hair and it's now that she realizes how…sad he looks.

He stops his painting and notices her staring and he shoots her that smirk and she lets out a small laugh before his smirk disappears. She wants to tell him about her encounter with Haley that morning, but she's not sure if he really wants to hear about it.

"Peyton?" He looks over at her again. "Can I tell you something?"

She nods. He reaches behind him and pulls out an envelope from his back pocket and hands it to her. He's wearing that sad expression he wears and a small part of her already knows what it is.

"It's the divorce papers." He says before she even gets a chance to open them. "I got them this morning with Haley's signature already there. I already signed on the dotted line." It was signing them that was easy, what he has to do now is mail them and he knows it's going to be hard and he doesn't really want to do it. But he knows Haley and he knows she wants this.

She musters a sad smile and hands him back the papers. "I'm sorry, Nate."

"It's fine." He shakes his head. "It's for the best, right?"

"You gonna be OK?" He nods and she can tell he's lying. Peyton makes that one step over to him and hugs him. His arms instantly wrap around her small frame and he takes in the smell of her hair. And he loves how she holds on for that extra second like most friends would. She knows he's hurting.

And maybe that's why he always comes to her.

Because she knows exactly what to say and what to do and she just knows how to comfort him. She doesn't say much and she doesn't do much, but that's always been enough for him.

She unwraps her arms from around his neck and looks back up to meet his eyes.

"Thanks, Sawyer." He smiles. He picks up his brush and continues painting like nothing ever happened and she's still just standing there.

"Nate." She breaks the silence. "You don't have to be here, helping me paint."

"No, Peyt." He shakes his head. "I want to be here. I want to help you."

She chuckles. "Well, thanks." She says softly. "And things will get better, Nate. I promise."

He looks back over at her and she's back to painting. Her eyes mesmerized by the movements of her paint brush. Her hair pulled back away from her face and she's wearing paint covered clothes.

He'll always believe her promises.

--

Nathan leaves and Peyton's left with the sudden hit of this news. It just hits her when he leaves. The fact that he's _single _now.

Nathan's had girlfriends and he's had friends that are girls, but he's never been married. And the fact that he's single now is different for her. She knew the ending of the divorce was coming, but now that it's here, it just doesn't feel right.

He needs to be married. He needs to have someone there for him. He can't be single. She doesn't want him to be. She can't explain why, but she just needs him to be with…_someone_.

"Luke! I'm home!" Home. It's good place for her to be now. Lucas is home. She doesn't want to be alone right now, so home is probably a good place to be.

"Hey you." He smiles walking out of the bedroom and into the living room where she's setting down her things. When he says those two words she instantly thinks of Nathan. Those words don't sound as good coming out of Lucas' as they do Nathan's.

"Hey. How are you today?" she smiles at him.

"Good, now that you're home." She chuckles and moves past him to the kitchen. He walks behind her the whole way explaining his day to her. It's the same. He wrote a few sentences, coached a few boys, came home and wrote a few more sentences. It's not that she's not interested. It's that today has been hectic. She wants to hear about it, she does, but not now.

"So, what'd you do today?" Lucas asks leaning up against the counter beside her.

She sighs. "Not much. Helped paint. Went by the bank." She says reaching for a glass. "Nathan came by." She throws out there and if her back wasn't turned she would've seen Lucas stiffen.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She turns to face him. "The divorce is final."

"Oh."

"He seems really beat up about it." She says not looking up at Lucas. But her head whips up when she hears the scoff to leave his mouth. "What?"

He looks over at her and sees her hand already on her hip and knows that's not a good stance. He knows he did something wrong. "Nothing."

"No, what? I want to know."

"It's just…this is kind of Nathan's fault." He says shoving himself off the counter and taking a step towards her. She takes a step back. "Look, Peyton, I didn't mean…"

"No you did, Luke!" She yells. "You think Nathan's the reason his and Haley's marriage failed. It's not!"

He scoffs again, not caring if she hated it or not. "The man sat around in a wheelchair for months, wallowing in his own self pity."

"He lost everything he worked hard to gain. How would you feel if you couldn't write for the rest of your life?"

"That's totally different."

"No, it's not!" She says moving around the kitchen, for something to distract herself with. "Haley should have understood. She should have encouraged him to try basketball again. She should have told him that he could still be great."

"What? Like you did?" He says. She looks up at him, not believing the words that just left his mouth. He's standing there with his mouth hanging open, his blue eyes drilling into her. "I didn't mean that." He shakes his head and takes a step towards her.

"Sure you didn't." She backs away and storms down the hall and into their bedroom. She slams the door and in one swift movement she's in the bed crying.

She can hear Lucas outside cleaning up the messy house and she's sure he's trying to come up with some way to apologize. The thing is she doesn't know if she wants it.

She doesn't know if she deserves it.

--

"Peyt?" Lucas knocks on the door again. He can hear her music playing. He can hear her moving back and forth the room. He doesn't dare walk in. He wants to talk to her when she's ready, not because he just barged in.

"Peyton?" He sighs, bowing his head. "If you're not going to open the door I'm just going to say it from here. I'm sorry."

There's a pause and he still doesn't hear anything. His head still hangs low. He's ready to give up and just go sleep on the couch when he hears the door click. He opens it gently, peeking in to make sure she's still not mad.

She's lying on the bed, her legs curled. She's wearing one of his tee shirts, which is way too big for her. He walks in quietly and lies down beside her. His hand runs smoothly up and down her leg. She won't turn towards him and he doesn't expect her to.

"I'm sorry." He whispers in her ear.

"I know." She says softly. She shifts her body some and he adjust to the new position. "I just can't understand how you would blame your own brother for his failed marriage."

"Hey," He shakes his head, "it wasn't his entire fault. You were right; maybe, Haley should have done something other than fight with him."

Peyton leans up and turns to face him. She clutches the blanket around her. He looks at her, curls falling down around her face, her green eyes staring at him so innocently. He knows she's beautiful, but seeing here so vulnerable makes him think that he might like her a lot more.

"Nathan was kind of jerk during it all."

He nods. "Look, Peyton, I'm always going to take Haley's side. She's my best friend and I've known her a lot longer than Nathan. And I know you're always going to do the same for Nathan. He is your best friend."

Peyton nods and lies back down. She nestles into his chest as his arm wraps around her body. "It's kind of weird that our first fight was about Nathan and Haley and not us." She chuckles.

He laughs and lets out a sigh. "Yeah, but it did make me realize something." He says.

She looks up at him, her head still on his chest and hand on his heart. "What's that?"

Lucas leans up and the sudden movement causes Peyton to do the same. He takes her hand and looks deeply into her eyes. His heart's pounding and he's wondering if now's the right time for what he's about to say. He wants her to know. He needs her to know.

They say the eyes are the mirrors to your soul. You can tell a lot about a person by their eyes. You can see love and hate and secrets that aren't meant to surface. Lucas Scott's eyes are filled with love. When he looks into Peyton's eyes that's all he can see.

The thing is he can't tell who the love is for anymore. But still he tells her his feelings; because he tells himself it's better for her to know than to keep them bottled up. He needs her to know that he's not going anywhere. And she's still here, so he knows she's not going anywhere either.

"I love you, Peyton."

It's like her heart stops. At least that's what it feels like to her. She feels her body stiffen and she feels as if she'll break out in a sweat. He loves her. He's in love with her. She likes him. Does she love him?

She loves his blue eyes. His beautiful words. His determination for a basketball team that he's never played for before. She loves his boyish grin and his squint and his broody expression. She loves his laugh. She loves all these things about him, but does she love him?

Her mind swirls with answers she could say. Excuses she could come up with. But she doesn't want to give him excuses or answers. She wants to tell him. And there's only one thing she wants to tell him.

"I love you too, Lucas."

* * *

Again, not very proud of this chapter. It could have been better, but I really wanted to UD and it's like midnight here. LP fighting over Naley. NP friendship getting back to the way it used to be or becomming something more? Nathan's getting better with basketball and Haley confronts Peyton.

Next chapter's a big one (No NP action sadly), but it's all coming. JUST TRUST ME


	8. Chapter 8

No snow this week, just some sudden sickness that has me skipping school. I feel like there's an elephant on my head, I swear. But the time to myself got this chapter done and I hope it's as good as I planned it to be. So I hope you enjoy!

* * *

He wouldn't miss this for the world.

No matter how awkward it is between him and his brother. Even though his wife is now his ex-wife. Even if he has to dress up in this monkey suit and put on a fake smile he still wouldn't miss this.

The chance to see Peyton so happy. He'd wear a gorilla suit to see that. As he watches her from afar mingling with all the other guests he can't believe she really did this. The building is up to date, the paintings are beautiful, and the painter is looking stunning.

No, he wouldn't have missed that smile for the world.

She wore a green strapless dress. Which made her eyes just pop. Her 3-inch heels made her legs seem longer and her hair was in her natural curls. For a second, she looked like the Peyton Sawyer he remembered from high school.

As he watched her greet the other guests around the building he could see her smile. It was big and bright and just one of those smiles where you could see every one of her pearly white teeth. It was real.

And as he watched her walk towards him with that smile and those legs and that…body, he, for some reason, became nervous. He'd never seen her this dressed up and elegant and beautiful. But underneath all the clothes and makeup, she was still Peyton Sawyer.

His Peyton Sawyer.

"Hey you." Peyton greeted wrapping her arm around Nathan's waist. His arm instantly wrapped around her shoulder and he pulled her into a hug.

"Hey." He smiled.

"So, what do you think?" She asks watching as he glanced around the room.

"It looks great." He says as his eyes move from painting to painting. All of them which she painted. "Has anybody bought any paintings yet?"

"One or two." She shrugs.

"Yeah and how'd that feel?" He says looking down at her, knowing she's really excited.

"It felt pretty good. Like I actually accomplished something."

"I knew you could do this, Peyton."

"Thanks, Nate." She says just staring at him for a second. She doesn't think it's fair how he says those things. The old Nathan never did that. The old Nathan hid most of his feeling away and made Peyton come in and drag them out. This new Nathan puts them out there in the open wanting her to just grab them and hold on.

But he's been saying those kinds of things since they were little. Both the new and old Nathan. It's just that she never caught them…and now it's like they're everywhere, waiting for her to grab them.

She opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by the new voice.

"There's my baby." Lucas says slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her forward for a kiss. She gives a quick one on the lips before resting into his arms. "Peyton, this is great. You should be proud of yourself."

"Thanks." She says, her hand landing on his stomach. "I'm gonna go find Brooke."

Before both Lucas and Nathan know it, Peyton's out of his grasp and back into the crowded room greeting all the guests. The two men watch the woman of their dreams as she laughs and smiles and lives her dream.

"You know," Lucas started glancing over at his little brother. "I guess I should say thank you…for doing this for her."

"I just put the idea in her head. Everything else was all her." He says. Nathan's eyes never left the girl of his dreams.

Lucas watched his little brother stare at Peyton. And he wondered if that love he knew Nathan had for Peyton had heightened since she moved back Tree Hill. Was he still willing to wait for this girl he's been waiting for his whole life? He hoped not. He loved Peyton and he loved his brother, but he didn't want Nathan waiting around for something that's never going to happen.

"Well, if it wasn't for you none of this would have happened. I mean look at her." He says motioning to Peyton who's laughing at something Brooke had said. "She looks happy."

No, she doesn't. Nathan can see it. There's just something missing. He thinks he knows what it is. He hopes it's what he's thinking. But he can't disagree with Luke.

"She is."

--

"Nathan."

He turns from his place at the bar to meet those doe brown eyes. He didn't expect to see her here, but of course she's here. It seems as if he sees her more now that it's all over. And he can't tell if he likes that or not.

"Haley."

"You mind?" She asks motioning to the seat next to him. He shakes his head and watches as she sits down beside him and orders a drink. "You doing OK?" Haley asks after her drink arrives and the awkward silence lets in.

"Yeah." He nods. "Why wouldn't I be?" He smirks.

Haley shrugs. "I just worry about you sometimes."

"You know, you don't have to do that anymore." He smiles leaning over and taking a drink from his glass.

"I know." She nods. "But I think I'm always going to worry about you."

He can't help but smile when he hears that.

"Hey," Peyton says appearing out of nowhere and wrapping her arm around Nathan. Both Nathan and Haley laugh when she squeezes her way between the two. "You two getting back together now or what?" She jokes earning chuckles from both Nathan and Haley. It's a sore spot of a subject, but it's one that they can oddly joke about to an extent.

"You having fun, Haley?" Peyton asks.

"Yeah." Haley nods. "Place looks great. You did an amazing job, Peyton."

"You know, I helped out too." Nathan pipes in leaning over the counter to meet Haley's eyes.

"You painted a wall." Peyton informs him earning a laugh from Haley.

"I think I'm gonna go find Luke. I'll see you guys later." Haley says giving a wave before she disappears into the crowd.

Peyton swivels in her chair to face Nathan and she throws him a quick smirk. "Figures I'd find you near the bar." She jokes.

"It's just water." He says holding up his glass. Peyton chuckles and ducks her only to look back up at him.

"I haven't seen you around much tonight. What, are you lurking now?"

Nathan chuckles. "I'm just giving you your space. You know, letting you enjoy your success."

"Yeah, but the best way to enjoy your own success is with the people you love." She kinks her brow and takes a sip of her drink. He just stares at her, watching her happiness grow.

"I like the painting." Nathan points out motioning to the picture up near the front. Peyton turns to glance at.

It's a painting of the Tree Hill Bridge. It's the first thing you see when you pass that _'Welcome to Tree Hill' _sign. It's the beginning of this little town. But she didn't paint it for that. She painted it because it's where she's spent most of her childhood. It's where she and Nathan went to watch the sunrise in the morning. It's where she went when she found out her mom died and Brooke came and sat with her under that bridge for hours on end. It's the last thing she saw when she left Tree Hill and the first thing she saw when she came back.

Nathan gets up from his seat and walks over to that painting to inspect it more. He's never been one for art, nor knows much about it, but the colors Peyton uses and the way the sun looks rising above the bridge is…beautiful to him.

"What'd made you think of the bridge?" He asks looking back at Peyton who's standing right behind him.

"I don't know." She shrugs moving up to stand right next to him. "It's where I always come back to when I think of this small town."

"It looks great." He says turning to her. Peyton's still staring at the picture. Once she put it up there, there was just something about it that didn't look right. On canvas, it looked perfect, a masterpiece even. But here, on this brick wall, it's not right. The only reason it's there now is because it's all she had.

"Hey." Nathan catches her attention. Peyton looks over at him and smiles, easing her shoulders. "I, uh…I, I want to give you something." He states nervously.

Her smile brightens. "Oh a present! What is it?" She asks holding out her hands. Nathan can only chuckle at her eagerness.

"Now it's nothing great or expensive. It's just something kind of important." He says reaching behind him and pulling out his wallet. He flips it over and moves past the few bills he keeps in his wallet, past the recites and all the other junk that's in there until he finds one piece of paper. Something's that's been in there for a_ long_ time.

"What's this?" She asks once he hands over the folded piece of paper.

"Open it." She does and makes sure to do it carefully for the paper seems like its ten years old. And what she finds surprises her. Past the cresses and torn corners is something she hasn't seen in well over ten years.

"_I'm Nathan."_

_She was kind of surprised he hadn't left yet and finally she stopped in the middle of her work and turned around to him. "What do you want?" _

"_Your name." He smirked that boyish smirk that got him out of many troubles. If only he knew it would be his deadliest weapon when he got older._

"_Peyton." She huffed and turned back to her paper. She stared at it and convinced herself that it wasn't right. The lines and the color didn't match up. The way it looked could have been better and she herself could have done better. She crumpled it into a ball and threw it to the floor._

"_Why'd you do that?" He asked, noticing the multiple others around her chair. _

"_It wasn't good."_

_He nodded even though she didn't see and decided it was probably best to leave her be. He trapped the ball to his hip and made his way out the door and to the playground. _

"Nathan…" She trails. She knows what it is, but feels the need to ask anyway. "What is this?"

"This is an original Peyton Sawyer drawing." He says gently taking it from her hands and staring at it himself. "One of the firsts."

"How did you get this?"

"The first day we met." He simply says. "You were…a bitch." They chuckle. "Even for a six year old."

"I just wanted to spend the day with my mom." She says quietly.

"You threw that on the floor and I just happened to come by and pick it up."

"I can not believe you kept this after all these years." She says letting out a small laugh and staring at the picture that's now in her hands.

"Of course I did." He crinkles his brow. "You said this wasn't any good, but every time I looked at it all I saw was talent. And look at you now. Over time, that talent's only grown greater." He smiles. He can see tears welling up in the corners of her eyes and he knows she doesn't want to cry.

"Thank you, Nathan." She says giving him a hug, but making sure to hold the picture gently between her fingers. She leans back down and wipes the tears that managed to fall. In an act of instinct, he reaches up and wipes away a few. His hand falls under her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"Hey," He says quietly, "this is your night. Don't cry." He shakes his head. "Go have fun. Go give a speech or something." Peyton nods and again reaches up to hug him. His arm clutch around her small frame and in a second she's gone, walking away from him.

And of course he's watching her go.

--

"Hey, everyone!" The crowd erupted in applause once Peyton took the microphone with her wide smile. Nathan stood at the back of the room listening to Peyton give her thank you speech. Peyton was right, he is lurking. "I just wanted to thank everyone that came out tonight and bought some of my paintings. It's…"

"She looks beautiful, huh?" Brooke says coming to stand beside him.

Nathan looks over at her and chuckles. "A Brooke Davis original I suppose." He says taking another glance over at her before letting out a small laugh. "It's good to see you, Brooke."

"You too, Nate." She says wrapping her arm around his waist and hugging him. "How you doing?"

"Pretty good." He smiles. "Hey, Brooke, I never did say thank you for paying for all this. You didn't have to do this."

"You're kidding, right? Of course I would do this. She's my best friend, Nate, and you're her best friend. We just wanted what's best for her." She shrugs.

"Yeah."

There's a pause where they go back to Peyton's voice wrap up her speech and they watch as she descends down from the stage and back into the crowd to meet Lucas. Brooke noticed Nathan's stare on the girl she considered as her family.

Brooke Davis has never been one for love. She's never truly experienced it. But she knows when it's there. And looking into those blue eyes she can see it.

"So, Peyton told me about the divorce." Brooke breaks the silence. "How are you doing since all that?"

Nathan shrugs. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Brooke. Some that I can't take back. The divorce is one of them. And honestly I don't know if I want to take that one back." He says looking over at her. "I love Haley, but we weren't meant to be. I think it's going to take me a while to really get over it, but…I know what we had is over."

"Good for you, Nate." She says reaching up and rubbing his arm. "You know, I only want what's best for you."

"Thanks, _mom_." He jokes earning a slap in the arm from Brooke. "I'm really glad you showed up, Brooke. It seems like everything's different now. It's good to have…familiar."

"That's what happens when you grow up."

"I'm tired of growing up though. Everything's easier when you're young."

"Hey," she says catching his distant look. "It's your life, Nate. Whether you make it easy or not is up to you." She kinks her brow before rubbing his arm and turning to leave.

He lets her words sink in. Making things easy. For the past few months he's been making things hard on himself. The accident, the divorce, Peyton moving back. They've been hard things to go through and he's told himself that it's just a day to get through. But he realizes now that if it's a day he has to _get through_ then it's certainly not a day worth living. And that's what he needs to be doing now.

Living.

"And Nate," Brooke turns back, "Those mistakes. Some of them you can take back." Again he watches her leave. The girl he's known since high school. The one that's secretly been rooting for a Nathan/Peyton hook up. The person that might be the biggest supporter of something that doesn't even exists.

And again he thinks of her words and all those _mistakes_ that he's made and he always comes back to Peyton.

--

It's her party. And still she leaves early.

It's such a Peyton Sawyer thing to do. And it's just like Nathan to be watching her leave with her jacket and purse in hand. He's been watching her all night, keeping out of her way and letting her enjoy all the success she's clearly going through.

No one but him sees her leave and he doesn't think she should be walking home by herself, so he grabs his coat and follows her. But she doesn't go straight home. She walks the back roads, through shortcuts and somewhere along the way she ends up at the pier. He doesn't make his presence known just yet; he'd rather watch her in all her beauty.

She leans against the railing and watches the dark, black waves hit against the shore. She just stands there for a minute before turning around and taking a seat on top of the table behind her. He knows now that she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

"Hey!" He says louder than he probably should. He sees her jump and can't help but laugh. She turns and shoots him a glare before turning back to the water, leaving him to take the seat next to her. "You know, it's not safe for pretty girls to be out all alone at night."

"I had a feeling you'd come." She nudges his shoulder. "So you following me now?" she kinks her brow.

"Maybe." He chuckles. "What's up? Why'd you leave early?"

She shrugs, looking back out to the water. "Too many people, I guess. I needed some 'me' time."

"Is that some hint to get me to leave?"

"No." she shakes her head and smiles. "I've always liked your company."

He chuckles. "How does it feel to be an artist now?"

"Honestly…it feels a lot better than being the assistant to the assistant." They both laugh.

"Look, I know everyone's been telling you this all night, but I'm proud of you, Peyt." He says looking over at her with that smirk and gleaming blue eyes.

"Thanks." She says softly.

"And I know that you already know this, but if you ever need me, I'm here – for anything."

"I know." She nods. They ease back into their silence and go back to the soft wave's crash against the sand. Her head falls on his shoulder moments after his arm wraps around her waist. Its two movements that shouldn't have happened, but they can't help but do it. He's always wrapped his arms around her and her head has always seemed perfect lying right there on his shoulder and in the crook of his arm and basically anywhere that has to do with Nathan.

He listens to her breathe in and breathe out and he knows she's still trying to wrap her mind around this day. It seems unreal to her that now she owns something. Something that's important to her and something that she loves to do. Her dream is no longer her career. It's just her dream.

"Tonight was amazing." She says quietly. "I don't want it to end." He doesn't say anything, doesn't think that anything should be said. He just pulls her in closer and rubs his fingers along her arm.

It's when her phone buzzes that the silence is broken. She reaches for her purse and he wants to tell her not to answer, but it might be Luke or Brooke and he doesn't want to keep her from them.

"It's the gallery." She says, sounding surprised. "Everybody's gone home by now. There wouldn't be anybody there." She opens the phone and gives her Peyton Sawyer _'hello'_ before listening to the person on the other end. He watches as her face drops and her skin looks as if it's turned pale. It looks as if her night's come to an end.

She's still in a state of shock when the call ends and she brings the phone away from her ear. "Peyton?"

"I have to go." She says, not meeting his eyes. Her feet hop off the table and she's suddenly moving faster than Nathan can.

"Wait, Peyton!" He follows. "What's wrong?"

"I can't talk right now. I have to go." She says hastily.

"Let me walk you back." He says reaching for her arm and spinning her around.

"No, Nathan!" She yells, causing him to take a step back. "Just…don't." She says putting her hands up and walking backwards. "I have to go." She says only loud enough for him to hear before she turns around and continues on her way.

And again, he watches her go.

--

She stomped into the gallery, looking for whoever could be here. It was empty. At least that's what she thought before she saw a man standing in front of one of her paintings. His back turned to her; she had no way of seeing his face.

"Excuse me?" Peyton made herself known. The man turned around to face her and instantly Peyton noticed his striking green eyes. The man looked to about fifty, but his hair still had much of its dark color with only few grey strands here and there. His face looked as if it's been through years of exhaustion. He wore clothes that men his age don't wear and he looked almost…rockstar.

"We're closed."

"I'm sorry. I was just…"

"It's fine." She cut him off. "Now if you'd like to come by and buy that painting tomorrow, you're welcomed to, but I need to finish closing up."

"Actually, I'm looking for someone." He says taking a step forward. "I'm looking for Peyton Sawyer."

"That's me." She says wondering what this man wants. "Wait." She says looking at this man again and realizing exactly who he is. "You're Mick Wolf. 60's rockstar?"

"You make me sound old." He jokes.

"I'm sorry. It's just…wow. You are like…I used to listen to you all the time when I was younger." She says, not believing that _the_ Mick Wolf is in her gallery.

"Well, it's good to know that people still know what good music is."

"What, what are you doing here? What can I do for you?" She stammers.

The smile on his face fades and he looks back up at the woman in front of her. Her green eyes and nervous smile are exactly like the one's he's seen before.

"I believe I'm your father."

* * *

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh IT'S A CLIFFHANGER! Just so you know, Mick won't be a big part of the story. He's just here to add in some drama for NP and LP. How? Well, just wait and see. So, this chapter I gave you A LOT of good NP scenes and I even threw in a small Nathan/Brooke for you guys. Peyton's dream has come true, Nathan's still working towards his. The tension is building. I can just feel it. : )

Until next time...


	9. Chapter 9

"Actually, I'm looking for someone." He says taking a step forward. "I'm looking for Peyton Sawyer."

"That's me." She says wondering what this man wants. "Wait." She says looking at this man again and realizing exactly who he is. "You're Mick Wolf. 60's rockstar?"

"You make me sound old." He jokes.

"I'm sorry. It's just…wow. You are like…I used to listen to you all the time when I was younger." She says, not believing that _the_ Mick Wolf is in her gallery.

"Well, it's good to know that people still know what good music is."

"What, what are you doing here? What can I do for you?" She stammers.

The smile on his face fades and he looks back up at the woman in front of her. Her green eyes and nervous smile are exactly like the one's he's seen before.

"I believe I'm your father."

She couldn't believe what she heard. This man, standing right in front of her, looked nothing like Larry Sawyer. This man was not your father.

"You have me mistaken for someone else." She says backing away from him.

"You're Peyton Sawyer, correct?" He asks, seeing her nod. "From what I know, my daughter's name is Peyton Sawyer and lives in Tree Hill, North Carolina. Unless you know any other Peyton Sawyer's, you're my daughter."

"No." She shakes her head. "My father's name is Larry Sawyer. And my mother is Anna Sawyer. Now you, Mr. Wolf, are not my father, so I think it's time for you to leave."

Mick sighs and runs a hand roughly over his scratchy face. "Look, I didn't mean to spring this on you. I thought you would have known that you're adopted by now." That word, _adoption_, it sounded almost unreal to her. Like the option of Peyton being anything other than Larry and Anna Sawyer's daughter is bizarre to her.

"I'm not adopted. You have the wrong person." She said staring him in the eye. "Now, I'm not going to ask you again, but you need to get out of my gallery.

He sees he's not winning this battle tonight. "OK." He nods. He takes a step forward and hands her a piece of paper. "Call me when you're ready to talk." He whispers as he walks past her. She's looking down at the paper with his number on it when she hears the door close behind her.

And she falls to her knees when the silence sets in. The tears pouring down her face and she reaches for her purse for her phone. She dials the familiar number and waits as each ring feels like an eternity.

"Hello?"

"Dad." She muffles out through her tears. With the possibility that Mick Wolf might be her father, the word _'dad' _tastes bitter to her. "I need to ask you something."

--

She still can't move from that spot on the floor.

Tears still running down her eyes and knees becoming numb, she can't find it in herself to _get up_. This was supposed to be one of the best days of her life. And she's sitting here, crying, and ruining any chance that this day could brighten up.

And it's all because of Mick Wolf.

Because he's her father.

And for the last twenty-three years, her parents have been lying to her. Both of them. Her father didn't deny it when she asked. He simply said he'd be on the next plane back, but she demanded for him to tell her now. And he did. He told her about how her mother couldn't conceive a child and how they raised Peyton like she was their own and how they were going to tell her, but then her mom died and everything got…confusing.

But she's more confused now than ever.

And these questions are running to her. Who's her mother? Why did they give her up? She feels like she's been living a lie her entire life. And she can't find it in herself to see her father's point of view of this. She finds herself hating (or disappointed?) in her father because of all this. He should have told her. He should have sat her down and explained all this to her. She thinks she would've understood.

Maybe that's a lie though. Because not a twenty-three Peyton Sawyer can understand this. How's a nine year old supposed too?

She wants to call someone. Anyone. Lucas, Brooke, Nathan, and a small part of her wants to call Mick. But her phone's lying on the floor and her arms feel too weak to reach over and grab it. She doesn't want to tell people yet. It's still fresh, still unreal to her, and in her mind she thinks there's still a possibility that it's not true.

But she knows that's a lie.

He doesn't say anything when he walks back into the gallery. He sees her sitting on the floor, heartbroken, and crying and he knows that she needs someone right now. Mostly him. So, he sits himself down beside her and wraps his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. Still he doesn't say anything and he lets her cry on his shoulder for as long as she needs. And he doesn't mind sitting her all night with her. He'd do it over and over again if that's what she needed. It doesn't matter what they are right now, best friends or not, she needs him and he's here.

And he thinks of the time her mom died and he was there with her. They sat in the cemetery together because it was too hard for her to watch her mother be buried. He found her leaning up against someone's grave. He just sat down beside her and held her and told her it was going to be OK. He told her to cry and she did because she knew it would all be OK, because she believed him back then. And he knew he'd always be there for her. No matter what. Kind of like now.

"It's true." She mumbles out as she wipes her tears on his suit.

"What is?" He asks looking down at her.

"He's my father." Her voice cracks.

"Who?" He asks. "Peyton what's going on? What happened?" He asks fearing the worst. Who's her father? Why is she saying this? Larry Sawyer is her father. He always has been. What is she talking about?

She tells him the events that just happened no longer than an hour ago. And through the cries that come back as she retells the story, he pieces it together. Mick's her father. Her real father. And he doesn't know what to say to her. What do you say? Because, like Peyton, Nathan feels like he's been lied to too. Larry and Anna were like parents to him. They were the ideal parents. They didn't fight all the time like Nathan's did, they didn't have affairs with others, and they didn't leave. At least on purpose.

So, he's just as broken as she is. And it doesn't help that he doesn't know what to say. She once told him that he's always the strong one. He knows what to say and how to get through it. But now, he has no idea. Since the accident, he hasn't had a clue.

"I don't know what to do, Nate." He hears her whisper and neither does he. So, he pulls her closer and pushes the hair out of her red, puffy face and he soothes her the best way he can.

And after a while she calms down and her tears become less and she seems to really be wrapping this around her mind. The fact that she's not Larry and Anna's daughter is going to take a while for her to come to terms with. And he wants to be here for her and to help in anyway he can.

Because helping this girl has always been his first priority, whether they wanted it to be or not. He taught her how to ride a bike and shoot a free throw. He helped with tying her shoes and controlled her little speeding problem when she got her license. He's always helped her. He's never done that for anybody else. He doesn't want to. It needs to be her. Every time.

"Thanks, Nate." She says looking over at him, wiping her tears away. He just stares at her with those blue eyes. Her knotted hair and puffy face, green eyes and legs strewn all over the floor. She's beautiful, even after all this, she's still beautiful. And with all that sitting in front of him, he can't help himself with his next move.

He leans forward, his hand flat on the floor while the other's on her knee, his eyes still open, trying to see if she does the same. She doesn't, but somewhere in her she knows what he's doing and she's not pushing him away at all.

It's the third time they've done this. And it's always started by him and she never pushes away. He thinks that means _something_. And they can never stop doing this. They can't, they don't try not to, they don't want to. And so this is how things end. His lips on hers, her lips kissing back, and it won't last for long, but it's going to feel so great. And then Peyton's going to come up with some excuse because after that kiss she'll think of Lucas and she doesn't want to hurt him.

So, there they are. His lips on hers. She's kissing back. It's a longer kiss than they've ever had before. And he's not sure how to take that. He wants to make the kiss deeper and more passionate, but he can feel her breaking point coming. He can sense Lucas coming to her mind and what's funny is that Lucas never left his mind when he kissed her.

Her hand comes to his chest and pushes him away the best she can. Their lips part and a rush of coldness falls over him. He hangs his head in what feels like shame and he almost hates to look up at her. He can see from the corner of his eye as she runs her hands over her face roughly and sees her take a breath trying to gather all this.

He looks up at her finally and swears her green eyes turn a shade darker. He wants to say something, anything, but of course he can't find the words. He's not going to say he's sorry, because he's not. The last time he did this she didn't get the point, now he thinks she gets it.

"Nathan…" she trails shaking her head. "You can't come here and do that." She can't say it. She doesn't want to say it. They kissed and it's killing her.

"Peyton just let me…"

"Explain?" She interrupts. "Explain what, Nathan? How you just come here and have me tell you something like that I'm adopted and then have you take advantage of me. I've…"

"I didn't take advantage of you!" He yells, becoming angry.

"I think you should leave, Nathan." She says, not looking over at him. He sighs and pushes himself up off the floor. He's not going to go against her now, after everything she's been through tonight.

But he does look back at her when he reaches the door. She's still beautiful lying there on the floor. He's not going to deny that that kiss wasn't great. It was one of their best. He just hates that it just ruined their friendship.

But he thinks it might have been worth it.

Because maybe now she gets the hint.

--

She spends the night thinking of him.

Both of them.

The two Scott brothers that have changed her world. One who's been there since the beginning. The other that she's fallen in love with. She loves them both. One a little more than the other more.

The problem is that she can't remember which one that is anymore.

She doesn't go home. She spends her night wandering the dark streets and in Brooke's hotel room and in this lost world her mind escapes to. And through it all, she's thinking of them. Wondering what her life would be like with only one Scott brother and then imagining her life with the other. They're both great lives.

But she spends most of the night thinking about that one particular life, with that one particular Scott.

--

A part of him doesn't want to go to sleep.

He wants to revel in that kiss forever. As corny as it sounds, he's reliving that moment over and over again in his mind. He knows what he did was wrong. He knows it shouldn't have happened. But he couldn't just let it not happen. He couldn't just let her sit there, broken and helpless. He had to do it.

But there's that part of him that wishes that he didn't. Because now his friendship is ruined. His brother's trust is gone. And now he's not really sure what Peyton's feelings for him are. He wants to tell himself that she loves him and is only hiding in Lucas because she's afraid. But now he's not so sure.

And right now he's regretting that kiss. Peyton's not going to look at him the same way anymore. He doesn't know if she'll even talk to him. And he just risked his whole friendship for a kiss. He regrets it, but he loved it, and all he wants to do is talk to Peyton.

Because having Peyton Sawyer in your life is a lot better than not having her there at all.

--

It's quiet when she walks through the door. It's always quiet when she comes home in the middle of the day. Lucas is either out coaching or sitting in his room writing. He doesn't like music to be played while he works like she does.

But this quietness that she comes home to isn't the normal silence she usually hears. Instead, it's disturbing and feels as if it's going to suffocate her.

She makes her presence known by throwing her things by the door, causing a loud thump. Still nothing. She knows Lucas is home. His car is parked out on the corner and she knows he wouldn't walk to the school. He must be really concentrating on his work.

She's about to knock on his door before it's swinging open and out comes Lucas, walking right past her, not saying a word. She watches as he moves into the living room, switching on the TV and then to the kitchen for a beer. Peyton just stands there, shocked that he hadn't even greeted her yet.

He's clearly mad; she just doesn't now at what or who. But she knows it's best to stay out of his way for a while. He takes his seat on the couch and she sits herself down at the table in the kitchen. She pulls out some papers and pretends to be busy, but she's really just waiting for him to say something.

"Where were you last night?" He goes through two beers and 500 hundred TV channels before actually saying something. His voice is scruffy and rough. It barely sounds like him and it scares her to hear it. It doesn't even sound like him. She's never heard him this angry before.

She drops her pen and runs a hand through her unruly hair. It reminds her that it's been over twenty-four hours since she's showered. Her face is still stained with tears and she just feels dirty. She borrowed some clothes from Brooke so she didn't have to walk through town in last night's dress.

"I stayed at Brooke's." She says loud enough for him to hear. She doesn't know why, but she feels almost scared to answer him.

He scoffs and lifts himself up off the couch. He goes to the kitchen to throw away his beer bottle and just for the distraction; he opens the fridge for something to eat. When he doesn't see anything he slams it shut, causing Peyton to jump. He runs his hand over his face letting out a sigh before glancing back at her.

"What?" She asks, getting annoyed with his intense stare.

"You sure you weren't with Nathan last night?"

Her heart stops. She can feel it just stop. When his brother's name comes out of his mouth she knows that he knows. And it makes her body go numb and her heart stop and she's staring at him with these wide eyes and her jaw's lying on the floor.

"Don't lie to me, Peyt." He says just as she's about to say something. "I saw the kiss and what I didn't see is you pushing him away." He says leaning against the counter and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I did." She says, barely audible.

He scoffs. "Well, I must not have been there for that part of the show."

"OK, Luke, you have _every_ right to be mad at me, but last night I was going through a lot of stuff. I got this phone call and I met…"

"You know what, Peyton; I don't even want to hear it right now. I don't want to stand here and listen to you come up with some excuse…"

"It's not an excuse." She says trying to cut in, but his anger is rising that he doesn't even hear her.

"I thought I could trust you, Peyton. I thought we were in love and then you run off and do something like this." He says not looking her way. He's just spitting out words now.

"I didn't do anything!" She yells, standing from her chair abruptly. The chair falls back and the sudden movement silences Lucas.

"Bull!" He shouts back. "I saw it, Peyton, with my own two eyes! You can't deny it."

"He kissed me!" It's not something she wanted to yell out. It's not something she wanted Lucas to know. How she rats out her best friend is beyond her. And how she's still calling him her best friend is crazy to her. She never thought she'd have to throw out her best friend to save her relationship. "I pushed away, Luke. You can believe that."

He just stares at her, silent, looking straight into her eyes. He knows she's telling the truth, but he still can't wrap is mind around it. Somewhere, deep down, he doesn't believe it.

"He kissed you?" He asks, feeling like he didn't just hear her say it. She can only nod, before bowing her head. "And you pushed away?"

"Yes." She whispers.

Again, he runs his hands over his face and turns his back to her. He stands there for a while, hands on hips, turned away from her, and she can only stand behind him and wait for him to say something. The silence is killing her. She doesn't know if he's still mad at her or what his next move will be. She wants to say something. Say she's sorry, but she can't utter the words.

"Just tell me something, Peyton." He breaks that silence, glancing at her over his shoulders. He turns around at her and stares at her. "Do you have feelings for him? Because that's what it looks like to me and I feel like you're pulling away from me, you're staying out all night, and I just…I can't help but have my suspensions. And I feel horrible because I feel like I can't trust you enough. And lately I feel like you're in love with the other Scott brother. So…" He trails, almost hating to ask the question again, "do you? Do you have feelings for Nathan?"

She doesn't even think about the question before she answers.

"No." She shakes her head. "Luke, you got to know that I love you. I'm in love with you!" She says with tears already in her eyes. "And I'm sorry the kiss happened, but it didn't mean anything. You can trust me, Luke. I promise." She says only loud enough for him to hear.

She's shaking and she's not entirely sure why. Whether it's because she truly loves him and wants him to believe her or because she feels like she just lied through her teeth.

But whatever reason it is, he sees it and he strides over to her and wraps his arms tightly around her and he doesn't let go. He buries his nose into her hair to catch a whiff of her coconut shampoo and his fingers get lost in them. He won't let go of her and she feels safe in his arms. She knows he hasn't fully forgiven her yet, but it's a step forward and it's not their ending.

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"It's OK." He says into her ear.

And maybe, for the first time, she doesn't believe that it is.

--

He's thinking about her.

He can't _stop_ thinking about her. He wants her and needs her and she can't get it. He's been trying to call her, but everything goes to voicemail. He doesn't want her ignoring him, though lately she's been doing it a lot. He gets the hint and stops calling. Tomorrow's another day, another phone call.

His apartment is quiet as usual and now it's just killing him to have all the silence. It leaves his mind to wander back to that kiss, and usually he would welcome that, but looking back on it now, he knows it was a mistake.

When he can't take that silence anymore he goes to the gym and shoots around for a bit. He runs and only thinks of her. He shoots and thinks of her. He lifts and thinks of her. And he can't stop, but he realizes that when he's thinking of her, it's pushing him to do better. So, he continues doing it and soon he feels better. He doesn't feel any pain like he used to. When he stops thinking of her the pain's still gone.

He's healed.

He's better and playing like he used to and he knows it's because of Peyton. Because she told him he could do this. She believed in him when no one else would. Everyone thought he would vanish from this basketball scene, but little did they know is that he never left it. He's just waiting now for his time to shine.

People know he's playing again, important people. Scouts for the NBA and every league under them. He knows he's not going straight to the NBA after being away for so long. But it's worth a shot. He'll play for any team; it doesn't matter, just as long as he's playing. He's learned that it doesn't matter where or who he's playing for. As long as he's playing this game he's OK.

Or almost OK.

He's mid-shot when he hears the door slam behind him. He grabs his rebound and dribbles back up to the top of the key before really turning around and seeing who it is. He's walking Nathan's way with his hands in his jean pockets. His face doesn't express any emotion on it as his chest moves in and out with deep breaths.

"Hey, Luke." Nathan greets him and all he gets is a nod. "You wanna play?" He asks smiling. It feels good to ask that again. It feels good knowing he can play ball again with his brother.

"No, I don't." He shakes his head.

"OK, then what are you doing here? Ravens stuff?" He asks with that smile still intact. He looks at Lucas and his face has changed. He's angry and he's holding it back for whatever reason that is. There's a pause when Lucas doesn't answer him and Nathan shifts on the balls of his feet and traps the ball to his hip. "Luke?"

"I came here to tell you to stay away from her." He says taking a step forward and looking him straight in the eye. "I want you to stay away from Peyton."

"What?" Nathan says, not believing what he's hearing.

"I saw the kiss and I know you started it." He says looking at Nathan seriously. "I thought I could trust you. You think I could be able to trust my own brother, but I can't and I should've known that. I guess I thought you would've respected our relationship and wouldn't have gone after her, but I see now that me being your brother and being in with her love doesn't mean anything to you."

"Luke," He shakes his head. "Man, I…"

"Stop." He interrupts. "I don't care what you have to say to me and right now I don't care if we don't talk ever again." He says. "You're my brother, man, that's supposed to mean something."

"It does." Nathan says, almost desperate. "Luke, things got really intense with her last night and I was there and it just…happened."

"That's your excuse?" He scoffs. "I love her, Nathan. And I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with her and I don't need you ruining that because you still have this childhood crush on her. You're never going to be more than a friend to her. She doesn't want you, Nathan. You had your chance a long time ago, so just stop. You're not it for her." He says stepping forward until he's only inches away from Nathan's face.

"So, don't call her, don't think about her, and when you see her, don't talk to her. Just stay away from Peyton. She's with me now, because you missed out on your chance. She's my girl now, little brother, and we love each other. So, stop with what you're doing."

What he's doing? He has no idea what he's doing. He's just there for Peyton. He's just being her best friend. He guesses he can't do that anymore.

He has this huge urge to just hit him. He wants to push him or knock him down or take his anger out on him and he's never wanted to do that. But hearing Lucas tell him to stay away from Peyton let's out everything he's built up inside. He would have hit him.

But he was too heart broken to do anything.

Instead, he watches Lucas turn away from him and walks back out of the gym. He stands there until he can hear his mustang pull out of the parking lot and he stands there until his legs are numb. He walks home thinking of everything Lucas told him. How he missed his chance with Peyton. How she doesn't want him. How he's not _it_ for her.

And he thinks its all lies.

He just doesn't know how to prove it yet.

* * *

Poor Nathan. I just want to hug him. And a part of me feels bad for Luke. He just can't seem to catch a break.

Next chapter, very little Leyton, A LOT OF PATHAN, and a lot comes out between the two friends.

Until next time...


	10. Chapter 10

This is a big chapter that I've been so excited to write. I know it can never be as good as it is in my head, but I feel that it's close enough.

* * *

That silence, the silence he's been living with for the past few years, that silence is beginning to close in on him.

He eats in silence, sleeps in silence, and most importantly, he thinks in silence. And that's the most dangerous one of all. Because he's thinking about Peyton and his stupid mistake. He's finally admitted it to being a mistake. It wasn't supposed to happen, but he couldn't not do it, he wanted to do it. He wants Peyton to know that he's the guy for her. She's _it_ for him.

He doesn't care what Lucas says or even what Peyton thinks, he knows what love is, at least his version of love. And he's never felt this feeling before. Where his heart pounds and hands sweat, his mind swirls and he's trying to pull off an ego he knows is fake. That all happens to him, when he thinks about Peyton, sees her, talks to her. He never felt this way around Haley.

He believed his feelings for Haley was love, but they weren't. His feelings for Peyton – that's love. He knows that now. He just wants Peyton to know that. Because they say love is the most important thing in this world, that it can conquer all and all those inspirational quotes he's been hearing about. He hasn't witnessed much of it, but when he sees Peyton he feels like he has.

He walks throughout his apartment and of course he sees Peyton. In photos, her favorite movie, the jacket she left here once that he never got the chance to give back. She's everywhere to him, he can't escape her, but he's always running back to her.

When she moved back to Tree Hill, he was so sure that this was their chance. That now they can get their act together and finally be together. He believed, even though he was technically still married and she's with Lucas, he still believes that. Not anymore. After what Lucas told him, he wants to spend the rest of his life with this girl Nathan's already spent his life with. It's not fair.

Because Nathan has spent his life with Peyton. Their six, and nine, twelve, sixteen, and eighteen – he's been there for everything with her. Where was Lucas?

He wants to not think about her, but even he knows that's a fat chance. She's always occupied his mind though. Ever since they were kids, she's always been there, circling his mind 24/7. But mostly he thinks about their past. He does that a lot. He remembers him going after his dream and her going after something. He remembers her eagerness to get out of this town and him almost killing himself to get away from Dan.

And after she left and after he got away from his father, neither of them was happy. He was never happy without her. And it became worse when he married and the accident happened and she came back and fell in love with his brother. It all got worse. He can't say much for her, but his luck is looking up now. He's divorced and now he can play again, really play.

"_People keep asking me what I'm going to do now and I just…don't know."_

_She stands up from the table and pats his shoulder. "You'll get it all back." She smiles. "In no time you'll be back out on that court." _

"Hello?" He says into the phone. The ringing brought him out of his thoughts. Back into this world where nothing is going the way he wants.

"Is this Nathan Scott?"

"Yes, may I ask whose calling?"

"_Hello?" He listens to the man introduce himself and he can't believe he's really talking to the one and only Coach K on the other end. A smile forms on his lips when he hears that he's going to Duke. _

_Nathan listens to the other not so important information before managing out a 'goodbye' and a 'thank you' before the call ends. He can't move from the shock of it all. He can't even bring the phone away from his ears. That smile's still intact when Peyton answers the door._

"_Nathan?" Peyton says with a small smirk on her face. His goofy expression is amusing to her. "You OK?"_

_He can't form words yet, but he looks down at the new noise. Those green eyes. They've always seem to be there when the most important things in his life happen. Those green eyes. And, to him, nothing else._

"_Duke." He mumbles under her gaze. She kinks her brow stepping towards him and shutting the door behind her. _

"_Excuse me?" She sees the phone in his hand and her stomach seems to sink. "Nathan? Nathan, what's wrong? Are you OK?" She's expecting bad news, thinking he didn't get into Duke or something._

"_Duke." He says again. His smile grows wider when her hand lands on his arm. "I just…I…" He lets out a chuckle. It all seems so unreal to him. "I just got a full ride to Duke." _

If he heard right, if his hearing is up-to-date, he thinks he just got another shot at basketball.

He hangs up the phone and places it back down on the counter and stands there, shocked. His hands become sweaty and his legs are numb, in a good way. There's a smile on his face, a real genuine smile, one that he hasn't worn in a long time.

He's playing again.

It might not be the NBA or anything fancy, it's just the B league, but it's something. Something that's going to get him to the NBA and further towards his dream.

His dream.

He's always wanted to live that dream with Peyton. Somewhere in his mind he thinks he still can. He picks his phone back up and dials that number he couldn't help but remember. She doesn't answer on the first ring or the second, but he still waits. He'll always wait.

"_Hey, this is Peyton. Sorry I can't get to my phone right now…"_

He doesn't listen to anymore after that. He doesn't try calling back. He knows she won't answer. Because everything that's happened over these last few days comes rushing back to him. He escaped it all through that one moment of excitement, but then as soon as he hears her voice, even if it is a recording, he remembers how badly he screwed up with her, and with everything.

And then he realizes something.

If he can't live his dream with Peyton Sawyer then he doesn't want to live it at all.

--

She doesn't want it to be awkward with him. But what does she expect?

His brother kissed her and, he doesn't know it, she kissed back. She might have feelings for Nathan, feelings that are stronger than the ones she has for Lucas. But she loves Lucas. She told him so. She can't be in love with _him_.

She won't let herself be.

So she keeps herself busy and avoids Nathan and it comes to the point where she's starting to avoid Lucas. But avoiding someone that you live with is a lot harder than she thought.

"Sneaking away so fast?" Lucas says, stopping Peyton in her tracks. It's early, too early for her, and normally she'd never be up anywhere near this time. But Lucas gets up early and frankly she doesn't want to stick around. "Am I really that awful of a person to sleep with?" He jokes with that smirk.

Her shoulders ease and she sets her stuff back down by the door before making her way to the table.

"No." She kinks her brow in an attempt to be cute. "I just had to get to the gallery. I have a lot to do today."

"That's what you said yesterday. You know, when you missed dinner."

"I'm sorry." She says easing her way into his arms. He reluctantly wraps his arms around her hips, instantly forgiving her. "I'm just really busy." She says with those puppy dog eyes that he can't resist.

"OK." He chuckles. "But are you going to be home for dinner tonight?" He asks. He sees her expression change to a sorry one. "You know when I said you were destined for greatness I also thought you'd be home to eat something every once and a while."

"And I will be, just not tonight. I'm sorry." She smiles up at him. "Tomorrow?"

"Are you gonna cancel on me?"

"I don't plan on it." She smirks.

"I know that's as good as I am gonna get, so go. Go to work, sell some paintings, and enjoy it all." He says watching her grab her stuff and heading out the door. "I love you!"

The door slams and he swears he doesn't hear it back.

--

She's not busy.

She's never busy.

She's an artist. She owns her own business. All she does is paint and pay bills and sell paintings and every once in a while give a class on how to paint. She doesn't do hard labor or something that is completely out of her league. She doesn't hate her job or behind in it in any way.

She just doesn't want Lucas to know that.

Really, all she does is paint and look after the gallery since she hasn't hired any other employees yet. But Lucas doesn't know that. She'll keep herself here till late in the night. She'll find ways to keep herself busy and then read over them to make sure it's just right.

Anything to keep her from going home.

And she doesn't know why she dreads going home so much. Lucas and Peyton, they're good, she knows it. He loves her and she loves that smile he wears when she walks through the door. But she hates herself for that kiss and Nathan and for hurting Lucas. And she's afraid that if she sticks around she'll only hurt him more.

But she can't break up with him. She doesn't want to. Because Lucas is safe. He gives her everything she ever dreamed of and more. He knows how to be sweet and romantic. He has a way with words and knows exactly what's on her mind. She loves that about him.

But she feels_ too_ safe with him.

With Nathan, he's nothing like that. He knows exactly what to say to piss you off. He knows that smirk of his is something you just can't resist. He knows he's the stuff, and he's not afraid to let you know that he is. He makes stupid mistakes sometimes, but they're mistakes that he does out of goodness.

He's dangerous. And Peyton likes that. She's always liked that.

That's how she spends the rest of her day. Comparing Nathan and Lucas. Listing pros and cons in her mind and she doesn't know why she's doing it. She's with Lucas. She doesn't need to be thinking about Nathan. But that con list with Nathan is all the reasons why they never got together and all the chances they've missed and all the reasons why she doesn't want to be with him.

But they're also the reasons why she wants to be with him.

And seeing him now, with his jacket stretched across his wide arms as he picks the bags up out of his car, is another reason why she wants to be with him.

And she doesn't know why she's doing this. Comparing Lucas and Nathan, saying she wants to be with Nathan. She can't be with him. But she's here at his apartment in the middle of the afternoon to talk to him instead of being at work or at home with Lucas. She's here.

He lifts the last of the bags into his arms and shuts the car door. Peeking over his shoulder he spots her, all blonde hair and chicken legs. He's always said she's beautiful, but seeing her now, she's more. He doesn't know if that's because he's practically forbidden to see her or not.

But he plays it off, like always. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw that I had a missed call from you." She says raising her phone in her hand. "I wanted to see what was so important."

"Nothing." He lies, walking to his door. He doesn't want to tell her. He's supposed to be mad at her. She doesn't deserve his good news. He can hear her follow behind him and he kind of likes that she's the one following him now. "Look, what are you doing here, Peyton? Does Lucas know you're here?" He asks turning around to face her.

"I just wanted to talk to you."

He just stares at her, vulnerable. That's all he sees when he looks at her, but now, she looks like an innocent child ready to cry. "Well, I don't want to talk to you." It kills him to speak to her like this, but he's just following his brother's orders, as much as he hates too.

Nathan turns back to his front door, puts the key in to unlock it, and walks in. Before he has time to shut it, Peyton barges in and moves around his apartment. He just sighs and takes his bags to the kitchen. It's typical Peyton Sawyer behavior. He should have known she wouldn't have taken no for an answer.

"What is up with you? Why are you angry?" She asks when he's only a few feet away standing in the hall.

"I'm not." He nods, shaking his head. "Does Lucas know you're here?" He watches as she shakes her head no and now he knows that she has to leave. She can't be here. If Lucas finds out, not only will he be in trouble, but so will she. And he hates himself that he still finds ways to get her out of trouble even when they're not really friends anymore. "You have to go."

"No, I want to talk to you." She says sternly. "I want to talk about what happened the other night and me and you and…"

"I don't want to talk to you! You have to go. Lucas is probably waiting for you." He says moving towards the door.

"Why are you mentioning Lucas so much!?" He doesn't want to tell her about his brother's encounter last night. He won't do it. He won't rat out his little brother. Even though he thinks he should. "This has nothing to do with him."

"This has a lot to do with him, Peyton!" He yells. He takes a breath and bows his head to calm down. He doesn't want to yell, but she's making it easy for him. He knows she's not leaving. She doesn't know it, but he knows her a lot better than she thinks. "You want to talk about the other night? Fine. Let's talk about it. I kissed you and if I'm not mistaken you kissed back."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Why'd I do it?" He scoffs. "Why do you think I did? Peyton, are you really that dense?"

"So, you like me?" She says, cracking a smile she can't really explain. "Is that it? You like me?" He doesn't tell her that he doesn't like her. He loves her. But that would just make things worse. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because there was Julian and then there was Lucas." He's still angry. He's angry about her barging into his apartment and demanding him to talk. He's still angry that she ignored his phone call. And he's furious that she pushed him away when he kissed her. But this conversation isn't turning out like he expected.

She just stands there, not saying a word and for a second he thinks she's not even breathing. He thinks the conversation's over so he moves to leave the room and leave her to leave whenever she wants. But then he hears that voice.

And this conversation is going back to the way it started.

"What about before that?" She says when he's halfway down the hall. He turns back to her and he sees her standing there with tears ready to burst out of her eyes. It's the first time, he thinks, that he doesn't run to her to comfort her.

It's the first time it's his fault she's crying.

"What about when we were fifteen or sixteen or at our graduation ceremony when we were sitting right next to each and you were holding my hand? What about then? Why didn't you make a move then?"

"I don't know."

"Why didn't you answer my phone call?!" She screams, ignoring his voice.

"What are you talking about?" He scrunches his brow.

"Six months after I was out to L.A. I had a breakdown and called you. You didn't answer and because you didn't I met Julian and didn't come home." She explains letting a few tears stray.

"You can't blame me for not answering the phone, Peyton." He says loud enough for her to her. "What about you, Peyton? Every time I kissed you, you ran away. I held you in my arms the first time your dad left for a job. I went to the cemetery with you on your mom's anniversary and held your hand every single year. What about all those times, Peyton?"

"You kissed me, Nathan." She says quietly.

"That's what you take out of all this?" He kinks his brow. It's not a joke or even funny. They're being serious and he's never been this intense with her. "Guess what, Peyton. I might have kissed you, but you kissed back. No matter how hard you want to deny it. Every time you kissed back. And every time _you_ ran away." He says locking eyes with her. He's right, she always has kissed back and every kiss she's had with him has been better than any other kiss she's ever had with any other man before.

"I can't have feelings for you." He knows that. She's with Lucas. He knows that. But he can't deny that she already does.

"It doesn't matter if you do or not." He shakes his head, looking away from her. "You'll just keep running away from them." He looks back over at her. "You want to know why we never got together in high school or in college or at all. Because you were afraid that I might have feelings for you and I do, Peyton. I have since we were little kids and I still do after all this time. But the real reason you keep running away is because you're terrified that you might have feelings for me too."

She stares at him; she can't stop staring at him, because he's right. And she hates to admit it but he's right. She's been so afraid of being rejected by him that for all these years she's hidden away her feelings in her art and men and in everything that wasn't him.

And kissing him now isn't making it any better. She doesn't mean to. It's that impulse thing we all have. She hears him say that he still has feeling for her and she can't help but run over to him and kiss him.

He's not rejecting, though, in fact he's kind of enjoying it. Even though they just kind of got into their biggest fight ever and she still has a boyfriend and he's not allowed to see her. Kissing her right now is the only thing that matters to him.

Her fingers in his raven hair and her hands running up and down his muscular arms, she doesn't stop, she doesn't think she can stop. Because she loves it. She loves his scent, his smile, his lips. She loves everything about him.

She thinks she always has.

But doing this is wrong. It's wrong to her, to Lucas, to Nathan, but she doesn't want to stop. Because stopping means facing that reality. That reality that means she kissed him first. She cheated on her boyfriend. She told Nathan that his feelings for her aren't just nothing. Because facing that means having to deal with it.

She pushes away from him and only glances up at him for a quick second before she turns around and walks out the door with a slam. He watches her run away for what feels like one too many times in his life. And he's left standing there, shocked for the second time today. And a thought flashes across his mind. Maybe he can live his dream with Peyton Sawyer.

Because_ she_ kissed _him _first.

And it's always been Peyton.

--

She's sitting in her office late at night in the quite. Probably not the best thing for her. That kiss replays in her mind. She can't help it. It just does. Someone's rewinding and playing it over and over again. She can't say that she hates it, but it's not such a bad film to watch.

Lucas should be on her mind. She should be home right now with him, eating dinner and laughing at his jokes. But she can't go home, not yet, maybe not even tonight. She knows she has to face him. She knows he doesn't even know about the kiss and she doesn't plan on telling him, but she's afraid that by looking into those blue eyes he'll know. He just seems to know a lot about her with those eyes.

So she stays in this office, ignoring the outside world as everyone else goes on with their lives. She hears cars go by and people walk by the window and she hates that she can't get up and go home and be one of those people living their life day by day.

She can't be that because she's too busy wondering if the guy she picked is better than the guy she kissed. A part of her wants to be with one brother and the other part the other. And she wants to rip herself in half and be happy with both of them.

Lucas is a nice guy. He's sensitive and great to her in all ways. He's the kind of guy you bring home to parents.

And Nathan. Nathan is…Nathan. He's never needed more of an explanation. Because he's always been that guy she's brought home. He's always been there to hold her hand and wipe her tears. Knowing that now, it puts her feelings and their relationship in a whole different perspective.

Facing both of them for now on is going to be hard. Because things are going to get hard. Looking at Nathan means looking at a guy she might want to spend her life with. Seeing Lucas means she's going to have to break his heart eventually.

Which she can't do. She doesn't want to do. She's never been one for dating or relationships. And she's definitely never been one for break ups. They're hard and something she doesn't like to go through. Especially when she's the one doing it.

But she can't break Lucas' heart. She won't do it. She won't hurt him. He's too good of a person to do that to. And she wonders if sacrificing her happiness for his is worth it?

She reaches into her desk, searching for one particular thing. She shifts through stacks of papers and pens and other things she's let pile in her desk until she finds that paper. That drawing Nathan gave her on her opening night.

Her fingers carefully hold it between her other fingers. The soft paper feels old and almost as if it's going to rip any second, but she doesn't care. She brings the paper to her nose to see if it smells of Nathan and she's not surprised when it does. It has been in his wallet for the past ten years.

She manages to tear her eyes from that picture to the one above her. The one she worked her ass off to paint and still it didn't feel right when she hung it up there on the wall. Looking back to the tiny drawing, she smiles and stands from her chair. Carefully, she removes the painting off the wall and sets it aside. She reaches for the tape and grabs the picture she'd been staring at for the longest time.

It looks perfect up on that wall. Like that's exactly where it belongs and she knows that's where it's always going to stay.

Because it's always been Nathan.

* * *

Well, what'd you thnk? A lot of stuff, right? Good stuff I hope. Peyotn kissed Nathan first (didn't plan on that happening, but had to put it in there) and she FINALLY realized her feelings for Nathan (or has she?). Only 4 more chapters to go till we're finsihed here so I hope you're enjoying this!

Next chapter: Nathan's aftermath of his kiss with Peyton - some Lucas and Peyton (fake?) happiness - and even some Naley - sadly, no NP : (


	11. Chapter 11

Hi! So, sorry it's been a while. School's been kind of hectic and I got distracted with a new show for a while and lost my Pathan spark. But it's back now and hopefully I won't take so long to update again.

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Her initials are stitched into his old jersey.

That has to mean something, right? He wants to believe that it's that one thing that just proves to him and to her and to everyone that they're…something. Anything. Soulmates. That they're meant to be together and that they love each other. It's supposed to mean _something_.

That's what he keeps telling himself.

He can't do this to himself. Not again. He can't let himself sit here and revel in these awful memories of her and him and _them_. He's done this too many times and since the last time, he's made his move with her and lost his best friend. Nothing he does now seems of any importance if it doesn't involve Peyton.

But their not awful memories. They're great memories. Ones he doesn't ever plan on forgetting. Because they involve her. His life involves her and he doesn't want to give her up. But he never had her. He thinks he never will now. But these memories - these memories he's packing up again - are all he has, of Peyton, of his childhood, of everything. He doesn't want to give any of it up yet. He's not sure he's ready to pack it up in boxes again for it to sit in his basement for years to come.

But he has to.

He's leaving for Charlestown in two days. He could stay and just travel back and forth every other week, but frankly, why would he want to? What has Tree Hill ever done for him? What does this place have to offer him anymore?

A broken marriage, a more than best friend, his dysfunctional parents, and a brother that wants nothing to do with him aren't things he wants to deal with anymore. It's something he doesn't want in his life anymore. He can't take it in his life any longer.

He hasn't told Peyton yet. He hasn't told Lucas or his parents. He hasn't told anyone. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to hear their goodbyes or face that awkward moment of whether or not this is truly right.

So he's just going to leave without saying a goodbye. It's a shitty way to do so, he knows that, but it's better than the alternative. For so long he's been stuck in Tree Hill, living what seemed like to him a mediocre life. Though deep down he knows it was more than just that. So for the first time he's reaching out of the barriers of Tree Hill and grasping for something more. Something better, hopefully. But for now he has to pack.

He sits in his living room and stares at the old jersey in his hands. It's from middle school and his fingers graze over her initials she stitched into the hem of his shirt. _P.S._ He still remembers the day she stole his jersey only a few hours before his game and refused to give it back until the very last minute. He didn't know what she wanted with it or what she was going to do to it and when he got it back there seemed to be nothing wrong with it.

But then he's sitting on the bench, resting, clutching his jersey and he feels something different on his fingers that have never been there before. He lifted his shirt up and there he saw the two letters stitched in gold yarn. When he looked up to find her, their eyes met and he smiled and she knew why.

He's kept that jersey after all these years. Every game until he left for high school he wore that jersey and when the game got close he'd rub his fingers along those letters and pray for a miracle to happen. It seemed to always work.

Nathan traced his finger along the letters for what seemed like the hundredth time before throwing the shirt back into the box. He has to move on. No miracle's are going to happen today. If he ever plans on being out of here by Friday then he has to get to work. He can't distract himself with these memories of Peyton. He just can't help himself.

She's always been distracting him.

--

She wakes up to his arms wrapped around her waist. She can feel his breath on her neck and the hairs on his legs rub up against hers and it gives her chills. It feels good to wake up in Lucas' arms. He's comfy to sleep with and she finds herself waking up every morning with a smile on her face.

She almost hates to move from her spot in the bed. But when she turns around and sees those blue eyes staring back at her she doesn't regret it. He gives her that half smile and she only buries her head farther into his chest. His arms tighten around her, pulling her as close to him as he she can get.

"We slept in too late." He says. It's the first thing either of them has said all morning and she almost hates that he broke whatever this was. She doesn't turn around to peak at the clock or ask what time it is. She knows it's at least nearing one in the afternoon and he's right, they have wasted half of this day away. But they've been like this all morning and if this is how they're going to spend the rest of their day, they don't care about the outside world.

"Don't move." She mumbles into his chest. He's not sure how she knew he was about to get up, but he eases back into her and smiles.

"Let's do something today. Something fun."

"Like what?" She asks looking up at him, even when her curls have fallen in front of her eyes.

"Like…go to the park. Or we could take a drive through the back roads. Anything. Let's not sit here all day and stare at each other."

She smiles and pulls herself up to meet his lips. "Even that sounds fun."

"Keep kissing me like that and I might reconsider." He moans leaning in to taste her lips again. Suddenly, she jumps out of the bed with a mischievous smile and heads towards the bathroom.

"You better get dressed. We have a big day ahead of us."

He watches her walk into the bathroom and shut the door. He's still staring at the door for a few seconds before he decides to get up too. He hears the shower turn on and he fights an inner battle to not go and join her. He opens his closet and picks out her favorite shirt of his and the jeans she bought him the other day. He smiles when he thinks about what her face will look like later on today when he asks her that question that's been on his mind for a while now.

Yes, today's going to be a big day.

--

He doesn't want to be here, but he has nowhere else to go.

It's the only bar in Tree Hill and he doesn't want to sit at home and drink alone. For some reason, he'd rather get drunk with other drunks. It's the first time he's been here since his accident and even the bartender is surprised to see him when he walks in the door. Nathan orders his usual and sits himself on the far end of the counter, scoping out the rest of the crowd. A few couples, mostly drunks, and a group of people on the far end enjoying themselves.

He lifts the bottle up to his mouth and the alcohol almost tastes sour to him when it's going down his throat. He's been drinking since he was fifteen (his first drink was with Peyton), but having this be the first time he's actually had alcohol since he started walking again, it feels different, tastes different, and it's all the same setting. It's just him that's different. But that doesn't stop him from continuing drinking.

He's on his third drink and not even close to being drunk when he sees her walk out of that group of people on the other side of the room and up to the bar. He watches her order her drink and he can't really decide if he should call her over or not. But then she lifts her eyes and they meet his and before he knows it she's walking over to him.

She's wearing that green dress he loves and he can smell her sweet perfume even in this run down bar. Her smile seems to grow wider the closer she gets to him and her doe eyes shine in the dark room. She's always been beautiful, but this is just ridiculous to him.

"Hey." Haley says standing beside him.

"Hey." He replies quietly. She motions to the stool next to him and he nods, wanting her to sit down. "What are you doing here?"

"New teacher started today, so we went out to celebrate." She says pointing back to her group. He looks behind her shoulder and sees it's filled with middle aged men and women with only a few in their twenties. "What about you?" She asks in what seems like a concerned voice. "I thought you weren't this Nathan anymore." She says referring to the Nathan Scott that drank himself to sleep every night for four months. The Nathan Scott that snuck out in the middle of the night and rolled himself to the bar.

"I'm not." He shakes his head. "I just had to get out of my apartment. I didn't know where else to go." He's sure she'll know what that means. He knows Haley knows about his and Lucas' encounter, he knows his brother tells this girl everything. They are best friends.

"No basketball tonight?" She smiles, bumping against his shoulder. He stays silent for a few seconds when the bartender brings Haley's drink.

"I'm moving to Charlestown. I'm playing for the B league now." He blurts out, still staring down at his beer. He's not sure why he's telling her. He's not sure why he's telling anyone. He knows Peyton should be the first person he tells, or Lucas or even his parents. But he can't bring himself to tell them. Peyton won't talk to him, Lucas won't let her, and he won't talk to his parents. Haley's here. That means something. At least, to him it does.

He looks over at her and she looks speechless. Like she wants to just jump up and give him a hug, but is debating whether or not she should. A part of him wishes she would.

"Nathan, that's…that's great. Congratulations." She says placing her hand on his arm. That simple touch soothes him.

"Thanks. I'm leaving tomorrow night."

"Does Peyton know?"

"No." He says firmly, letting her know that that's that and he doesn't want to speak anymore of it or of her.

"Well, I'm really happy for you, Nate. I'll be the first to admit that I thought you would never play again. I'm glad you proved me wrong." She says giving a small chuckle. Nathan just nods and stares down at his beer. "I'll see you around." She moves to get up and from the corner of his eye he watches her walk away.

"Haley!" He calls out to her. She stops in her tracks and turns back to him. He won't say this in the middle of a bar. He won't yell it out to her so everyone can hear. He just waits for her to come back and take a seat.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. "I'm sorry I was a lousy husband. And I'm sorry that I was a different person after the accident." He says shaking his head and fixing his eyes on hers. "I'm sorry that I didn't try hard enough to fix our marriage and to fix us. And it's my fault that we got a divorce and I know that…I'm just sorry."

"It's OK."

He chuckles and bows his head. "That's all you can say? It's OK? Haley…"

"It wasn't your fault, Nathan. Sure, things got hard" She shrugs one shoulder. "I could've been more understanding and I shouldn't have been so hard on you. But the accident made me realize that we can't get through everything and maybe…maybe we're not meant to be. Maybe _always and forever_ doesn't really exist."

"Or maybe I could have fought harder." He says quietly staring up at her with his deep blue eyes. "I know that I did some things and said some things that I wish I could take back."

"Said some things? Like what?" She asks kinking her brow, seeing if he'll actually admit it.

"You know." He nods.

"Yeah, I do. But do you?" She smiles that cute smile that always had him melting, except now it's different and again it all feels different to him.

"I know what you're thinking, Haley, and you're wrong. We're just friends." He says shaking his head. He can't even mutter her name. She knows that at least means something.

"Lucas told me she came home crying the other night." He listens to her and his heart races at the thought of Peyton telling Lucas. "She wouldn't tell him why, but I have a good idea."

"It's never going to happen." He shakes his head, taking a sip from his beer.

"And why not?"

"She knows my feelings for her. She doesn't care."

Haley scoffs and shakes her head. "You can't really believe that. I don't really know Peyton and I don't really know much about love, but I do know when there's a connection."

He looks over at her and sees the girl who's changed parts of his life in a lot of ways. She's not the innocent tutor he met in college. She's this woman that's seen everything. Or at least he thinks that. She's changed this past year. It's still hard to believe that it hasn't even been two years since they got married and their already divorced.

It feels like he's known Haley his entire life. He knows her secrets and her passions and dreams. He knows what parts of the world she wants to see. He knows her favorite song and food. He knows so many things about her and he remembers how it wasn't too long ago when he knew nothing about her.

He leans in closer to her and she can smell the alcohol on his breath. "Maybe…maybe we still have a connection." She knows he's not drunk. She knows when he's being serious.

"We never had a connection." She says quietly, but seriously.

He closes the gap between them and takes her lips in his. She doesn't pull away because she knows what he's doing. He's trying to prove to himself that there's nothing between him and Peyton. That she's not the one for him. It feels just like their first kiss, unexpected. Haley doesn't see it coming and she doesn't kiss back. She doesn't want to. This man isn't her husband anymore.

He pulls away and stares at her closed eyes. They flutter open and meet his desperate blue eyes.

"Feel anything?" She asks.

"No." He shakes his head. "I felt nothing."

Haley stands from her seat again and grabs her drink. She places her hand on his shoulder and a part of her knows that this might be the last time she'll this side of Nathan Scott.

"She'll come around, Nathan. Just give her some time."

"I've been waiting for her since I was a kid, Haley." He says desperately, finally admitting that he _does_ still have feelings for Peyton.

"I know." She nods. "But you know Peyton Sawyer better than I do, and from what I hear she's pretty stubborn." She gives his shoulder one last squeeze and he looks and sees her smile before walking back to her group. He watches her go and deep down he knows him and Haley are nothing now. He thinks he knew that from the start.

Now he just needs him and Peyton to be_ something_.

--

They walk the pier hand and hand for what seems like hours.

Every few minutes she'll squeeze just a bit tighter just so she can get a glimpse at those blue eyes. They'll smile and go back to looking at everyone else on this warm night.

Things are good between them. Things are great. For the first time he doesn't feel threaten and she doesn't feel like she's trying to prove herself. They're just having fun and loving it.

She excuses herself to go get a coffee and he asks for one of his own before he watches her go. He sneaks away to his own little shop while she's gone. She doesn't even notice.

She orders their drinks and smiles at the woman behind the counter when she tells Peyton to have a nice night. Walking outside, there's no sign of Lucas in sight. Peyton scans the crowd for that blonde hair and blue eyed boy. She takes a second to actually see all the other couples around her. They're all so happy and loving. If this was the Peyton Sawyer from a few months ago she would've hated to see all these people

Now she's glad to be one of them.

She spots Lucas maneuvering around the other people and he smiles when he sees her. She closes the gab between them and hands him his coffee.

"There you are." She smiles. "I thought you ditched me for a second."

"Never." He says taking a sip from his coffee. They continue their way up and down the pier for another few minutes before walking home.

The entire time his hand is in his jacket pocket as he spins the small box between his fingers.

* * *

Well? Reviews make me happy. : )


	12. Chapter 12

Good news! I've written out the rest of this story, so chapters will be updated quickly. This chapter is a bit short for my usual chapters, but it's a big one so I hope you enjoy.

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After the text he just received, he can't help himself but run to her.

_Need 2 c u!_

He stumbles into her house after driving by both his place and Lucas' and seeing she's not at either one of them.

He's not entirely sure why she needs to see him until he hears her sobs from outside her door. Lucas and Peyton broke up…or something. Somehow he knew this was going to happen. And he can't help but wear that knowing, cocky smirk when he sees her on the couch crying her eyes out. He knows it might be insensitive, but…damn he's wanted this girl since he was eight and his brother knew that and he tried to tell her about his feelings.

And it meant nothing to either of them.

He sits down next to her on the couch. He doesn't touch her or face her or give any form of contact. He wants to help her in anyway, because there's still a small part of him where she's still his best friend no matter what, but he's not entirely sure how to help her. Or if he should help her. It's when her mother's funeral pops back into his mind. All he did was hold her and told her that it was going to be OK.

So he grabs her hand and holds it tightly. And she still doesn't speak. He tells her that whatever it is she's going to be OK.

And there's this feeling in the pit of his stomach that's telling him to just stop. Stop comforting her and lying to her and to his self. But he can't. He can't not help her. Because no matter his feelings for her or her for him, he's still her best friend. He told himself a long time ago that he'd always be there for her.

And out of all the people, she came to him.

"He proposed." She says quietly after all her tears are gone and what's left is her tear stained face. Nathan looks over at her and he's sure he just got whiplash. His little brother proposed to this girl. The girl of his dreams.

And he starts to imagine this life without Peyton Sawyer. He imagines going to her wedding and watching the girl of his dreams marry the wrong man. His brain wraps around the idea of blonde haired, blue eyed kids running around Tree Hill and Peyton being a mom.

He doesn't know what he would do if it wasn't Peyton he was spending his life with.

"I said no." She clarifies letting Nathan let out the sigh of relief. "I told him I'm not ready to get married yet. We got into this fight about how I wasn't putting any effort into our relationship and how I didn't love him like he wanted me to. So he left. He took the ring, told me not to call him, and he left."

He knows he should say something comforting. That's why she came here, because for some small reason they're still best friends and she still comes to him with these big problems. Even after everything that's been said between the two and she's still running to him.

He can't decide if it's a good thing or not anymore.

But he looks over to her and usually, he'd see the little girl he fell in love with a long time ago. But now he sees the woman that broke his heart no more than just a few days ago. He's supposed to be angry at her. He's supposed to be ignoring her and leaving for Charlestown tonight. But he gets her text and he can't help but melt.

He has to stay angry though. He can't let himself fall for this girl all over again. She's broken his heart too many times for him to even put it back together again.

"I thought things were good. I thought we were good." She rambles as he zones in and out. "I'm just not ready to get married, you know? Why can't he understand that? I mean, why does it have to be the beginning or an end?" She asks somewhat expecting an answer.

He still doesn't look over to meet her eyes. He doesn't want to, he's not sure if he even can. His hand falls from hers and she looks down at the two body parts shocked. He's never done that before. He's never broken away first. And now that she thinks about it, she doesn't like that very much.

"I guess if you can't have one Scott brother you can't have the other." He says staring down at the floor. What he says doesn't hit him until long after it leaves his mouth and as soon as it does he regrets it. He doesn't like being mean to her, but she's pushed him to this point.

He hears her scoff and feels the rise in the couch when she gets up.

"Just get out." He hears her mumble.

"Peyton." He stands from the couch.

"Just get out, Nathan. Calling you was a mistake." She says walking away from him. He hears the creaks in the floor boards as each step she takes becomes less and less.

"What do you want from me, Peyton?!" He yells, stopping her in her tracks. He waits until she turns around and meets his eyes and his blood seems to boil when he sees those sad green eyes staring back at him. "You want me to stay, you want me to go. You want me to be your friend or you want me to be nothing. What do you want?!"

"What do I want?" She says incredulously, closing the gap between them. "I wanted you to be here for me in a time that I needed you the most. I want you to be the best friend like you've always been and hold up your end to all those promises we made all those years ago."

"Well, I can't give you that." He can see how badly she wants to question that. But they both know exactly what he means when he says he can't be that guy anymore. He won't be that guy anymore. That guy that's being pulled along. It's time he's cut those ties.

"You know my feelings for you, Peyton, and this little stunt you just pulled by calling me down here doesn't help me get over you."

"And you think marrying Haley helped me." She spits out throwing in a scowl his way. He gives her a skeptical look, wondering if what he just heard was true. His mouth opens to say something, _anything_, but soon closes it, not knowing how to respond to that.

They stand there for what feels like an eternity, staring into what feels like pools and pool of blue and green. He looks at her and knows this version is a Peyton Sawyer he's never seen before, one that he'll probably never see again. It's her admitting the feelings she's harbored for him for years.

It's her admitting that she's wrong.

"I come back to town to tell you that I love you and that I want to be with you and I find out, from someone that isn't my best friend, that you're married. How do you think that made me feel?"

"I had to move on." He says sternly. "OK, you were off in L.A. pursuing a dream that didn't even come true!" He yells not caring if it hurts her or not. "I watched you get on a plane and fly across the country. I listen to your sad voice on the phone as you talked about how much you hate your job and every time I wanted to tell you to come home, to come back to me."

"Well, why didn't you?"

"Because I'm not that guy." He says quietly. "I'm not that guy that asks you to give up everything to be with me." He says thinking it might all be a big lie. He wanted to be that guy. He wanted to watch her turn back with her bags in hand and run into his arms instead of getting on that plane. He wanted to be that guy that followed her.

But he could never be that guy. He had his own dreams to figure out and a scholarship waiting for him. If he can go back and change it, change everything to where he could go to L.A. with her, he's not sure he would. He's not sure he could give up that kind of opportunity. He knows the result of his choice. He knows he can't give it up.

"So when we had a falling out. When the phones stopped ringing, I moved on and you did to."

"OK, but I dated; you got married to a girl that you didn't even love!" She yells making him flinch. "You did anything to forget about me, right? You fell in love with the first girl that looked your way because waiting for me was too much work for you."

"Waiting for you?! I've been waiting for you since I was sixteen and when you just up and left I realized that maybe you're not worth waiting for!"

"Just go." He hears her whisper from across the room. He sees her sigh and run those skinny fingers through her hair before she turns her back to him.

"You can't handle it, can you?" He scoffs. "You can't handle anytime I tell you that I love you or that I want to be with you. Why are you so afraid to be with me, Peyton?!"

"Because you're not like them!" She yells turning back around to face him. He can see the few tears that have fallen since he last looked into her eyes and it's another one of those rare occurrences where it's his fault they're there. "You're not like Lucas or Julian. You're different!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Just go, Nathan. Make it easier on both of us and just go." She says turning back around and walking out of the room as he stands there frozen to the hardwood floor.

"I said… 'I love you, Peyton.'" He says with a sigh, stopping her in her tracks. He doesn't wait for her to turn around for him to continue. "We were standing in the living room and my arms were around her waist. She said 'I love you' and I said 'I love you, Peyton' to Haley. That's why we got a divorce. It wasn't because of the accident or that I didn't try hard enough. It was because I was in love with someone else."

He takes a step forward, not even knowing his next move.

"Even Haley could tell how I feel for you. This whole town can. Everyone can, except you." He takes another step towards her and his hand somehow lands on her arm. He's not sure why there's a hint of a smile on his lips. He wants to say because he's finally letting go, he thinks it's because she finally knows everything.

"Maybe one day you will too." He leans down and kisses her gently on the cheek. "Goodbye, Peyton." She hears him whisper in her ear.

She listens for the door to click on his way out before every ounce of energy she has left comes pouring out and she finds herself on the floor crying. It reminds her of the night of the gallery opening when Nathan seemed to have come and save her.

She knows this time he won't be coming though. She's not sure if his goodbye is for good or not. A part of her knows which one she wants.

She stays in the spot for what feels like hours just crying and thinking about Nathan. He's always been there, but now it's the first time she really feels alone. She doesn't know why she couldn't just admit the things she feels for him. That she loves him. She can't explain all the lies and the times she ran away when they ever came close to something. But there's a first time for everything.

It's the first time she admits that she loves him.

The first time they've really had this conversation.

The first time_ he_ ran away.


	13. Chapter 13

He's really not that bad of a guy.

Mick.

Her father.

She can't remember the exact moment when she picked up the phone and asked to have dinner with him, but now that she's sitting here she's glad that she did.

It's awkward at first. What do you say to the man that gave you up when you were only a baby? She's not entirely sure, but then they get into this conversation about some band that's coming to town and she realizes that this guy isn't that bad. So, they sit like that talking about music and bands that she had been listening to since she was a little girl.

He tells her stories about his years on the road and playing for packed stadiums. He leaves out the drugs and sex though. But she sees character traits in him that are her. The love for music, for one, his green eyes and smile only reminds her of her. His laugh seems to be contagious and she loves the excitement he gets when he's telling a story.

Ellie. She learns is her mother's name. He doesn't divulge in her though. He'll tell certain things and what she knows so far is that this Ellie, her mother, seems conflicted. Kind of like her.

She's still debating on whether or not she'll ask. Why they gave her away and what her mother's really like. Maybe it's too soon, maybe it's not the right time. But she wants to know. And these stories about him and the road are great, butt there are something's that are more important to know.

She looks at his smile and bows her head to get a glance at the discarded food they never ate and she knows he's just waiting for her to ask. She kind of likes that about him. That he just knows things.

"Mick." She says quietly. "Just why? Was I not good enough?" She shrugs.

"The very opposite." He smirks. "You were…you were perfect."

"Then why'd you give me up?"

"Have you not been listening to a word I've said?" He laughs. "We weren't fit to raise a kid. The environment we were in wasn't suitable for children, too many drugs, loud music, and unwanted sex. And Ellie and I weren't ready to give that up." He says with a shrug, trying to play it off, but even she can see the wall he has up right now.

"You didn't even want to try?" She asks with such a desperate voice.

"Of course we did." He assures. "Your mom especially. But…we weren't on the best of terms at that time and it felt like a child would make everything harder. Ellie and I didn't want to be with each other. We didn't want to give up drugs or rock n' roll yet and we were being stupid kids. We knew that we couldn't give you the life you deserved."

The way he explains it makes both him and this Ellie sound like horrible people. They sound conceited and selfish, but at least he was being honest.

Sometimes giving up the things we love the most for the people we love is the hardest thing we can do. We're too selfish and think our dreams and our lives are more important than others. It's the talented people that can have both their dreams and the people they love. It's the great people that give up their dreams for the people they love.

She looks at Mick and sees where being selfish has gotten him in life. He might have multi-platinum records and have seen ever corner of this world, but he doesn't have a family or love or the things that matter most.

She can't help but think about herself and wonder where being selfish has gotten her.

"Do you have a good life, Peyton?" She hears Mick asks, pulling her from her trance. "I mean, your mom and dad are they good people? Do you have good friends?"

"Yeah." She nods. "Yeah, I got all that. My dad, he's…he's an amazing guy. He did everything he could do to keep us stable after my mom died. And my friends, you know, they've always been there."

He nods a silent nod when she assures him that her life is good. But he can see pain in those green eyes. Pain from her mother's death and pain from something he can't really point out. He doesn't question it though.

"What was she like?" Peyton asks. "Ellie. What was she like?" She loves the smile that forms when he hears her name. He still thinks about her everyday and the things he screwed up.

"I look at you and I only see Ellie looking back." He says and she blushes a bright red. "I remember being backstage at a Stones concert and seeing this tough looking chick in a leather jacket. And when I tried to ask her out she told me to fuck off." He says laughing and Peyton chuckles. "I knew I was in trouble then."

"It seemed like the more shows I played the more I saw her. But she wasn't a groupie or anything like that. I could tell she was only there for the music. It seemed to me that that was all she cared about. We started dating and soon enough we were in love."

"What happened?"

"The road." He shrugs. "Musicians are not the best people to have relationships with. There are too many drugs and cities and people that you just don't need to be around. Ellie and I got into this fight and I was stupid enough to say if she wanted to go then go. What I should have said was that I would go with her." He admits looking Peyton straight in the eye.

"Two or three months later, I get this call from her. My heart stopped when I heard her voice and…my world stopped when she told me she was pregnant. Next thing I know, I'm on the next flight out to see her and when I get there she's as angry as I've ever seen her. She won't even let me in the door. She starts yelling about how I ruined her life and how she doesn't want a kid. I tell her I'm gonna be there every step of the way and even I knew that was a lie coming out of my mouth."

"She never did let me in the door." He says sadly. "And everyday, I regret leaving her there. After that I would call her every few weeks to check in. I never went to see her; I knew she didn't want to see me. And the day you were born I get this call from your mom saying they took you away. She told me that your name was Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer and that her parents were amazing people. I never heard from Ellie after that."

"Wow." Peyton says sadly. It's all she can think to say. It's not your usual love story and she hates the way it ended. She can see that her mother felt tormented and lost, but she wonders how lost she really was. And she hates to think about lonely she must have felt when she was pregnant with Peyton. "After all these years why didn't you ever try to call her?"

"She died, Peyton." He musters out, overcoming the lump in his throat. "A few years back. Breast cancer."

There's something inside of her that just breaks and she feels like crying over a random stranger. Over this woman that she's never met or talked to or seen a picture of. This woman that gave her up for drugs and music. The woman that gave her life.

She never knew she could feel so horrible. And she hates that she didn't know about the adoption sooner. Then maybe she could have met this woman that her father was still in love with.

"Do you ever miss her?" Peyton asks for a reason unknown to her.

"Every day." He nods. "She was the only woman I ever loved – the only woman I ever will love. It took me a long time to admit that and by then it was too late to do anything about it. You know, after…after all the rock tours and lines of coke and stupid shit I used to do, there was always Ellie. Whether I was thinking about her, calling her, or just wanting her."

"Love is hard, Peyton." He croaks out. "Trust me." He smirks. "Whether it's facing it or running away from it, or finding it, but once you do it's the most beautiful thing we could ever experience. And opening your heart to it is the hardest thing we could ever do, but once you finally do it's the greatest feeling in the world. Remember that feeling whenever you fall in love" He says taking out his wallet and throwing down a few bills.

He stands from the table and she grabs her things before standing beside him. She doesn't know why she loops her arm through his when they're walking down the street, but she likes the feeling of it when she does. If anyone saw them you'd think they were just another father and daughter. But they're far from it. He's the man that's full of life and mistakes and he's not afraid to admit it.

She's the girl that's ready to start living her life and finding that love her father is so sure of. She knows she already has. She just has to find him.

Because Nathan Scott is the only guy that's ever gave her that feeling.

--

He hates these boxes. He doesn't touch the boxes; he doesn't look at the boxes. He doesn't care that most of them have his clothes and important necessities in them. He just doesn't go through _those_ boxes. The ones where she's in them. Where every little thing has something to do with her.

He's put himself through that too many times to do it again. So he's just going to leave them there. He'll wear the same clothes for days and eat take out instead of cooking, anything to not go through those boxes.

They just sit there now. In the corners of his new apartment collecting dust. He doesn't really care. He doesn't really care much about anything if it doesn't involve basketball.

It's really the only thing on his mind lately. Basketball. His team has welcomed him with open arms and he's playing his first game in only a few hours. He's nervous, but he knows he's worked hard enough to know he's better than before. He knows that it's going to be hard to get noticed by the scouts and he plans to bring his A game to every single game. He'll play until his knee gives out. He'll play until they won't let him play anymore. That's how much he loves this game.

That's what's going to get him in the NBA.

When he left Tree Hill, he didn't say goodbye. Not to his mom or dad or even his brother. He told Peyton goodbye, for what he thinks is for good, but that's what he thought before though and then she came back and nothing will ever be the same again. Between her or him or anything.

Leaving wasn't that hard. It actually felt pretty good. Seeing that _'Now leaving Tree Hill' _sign made a wave of relief wash over him. It's the first time he's left Tree Hill for good.

He knows the way he left wasn't the best way he could have done it, but there was no one there for him. His brother seemed to despise him and his parents have never been there. Haley's the past and it's time he starts looking forward to the future.

Grabbing his gym bag, he walks out the door and locks it before walking outside and getting into his car. He checks his phone for any missed calls and sees there's only one from one of his teammates and a text from Brooke telling him good luck tonight.

He's not really sure how he'll play. It's been a while since he's actually been on the court and played in a real game. But he's been doing it his whole life. He's sure he'll do fine.

His coach gives him and the team some inspirational speech that's just like all the others. Nathan's heard it before and sort of zones in and out as he fumbles to tie his shoes. The team stands and makes their way out onto the court. Nathan seems to lag behind, not wanting to get too into all this hyped up crap he used to love.

The gym is packed.

Something Nathan didn't really expect.

But when he sees all those people and hears all the cheering, he smiles and laughs and remembers what it's like to be the best.

The game starts and Nathan finds himself open for an easy lay-up. He's forgotten what it's like to feel this good. To be this invincible and feel like you're on top of the world. He loves it. He doesn't ever want it to end.

He finds himself with six points within minutes and he's already dominating this game. His defense is incredible and he can block like he was back in high school. He never expected to be starting within a year of his accident, but he also never expected to be playing again.

Near the end of the second quarter he feels something that reminds him that he isn't invincible. His knee starts to become sore and he spends the rest of the 1st half and most of the second on the bench. He doesn't mind it actually. It's only his first game and he knows his coach only started him to see if Nathan really had it in him. Apparently he does. And soon enough he's back on the court for the fourth quarter.

He drives the ball in and does something he never expected to do. He dunks it. Hard. And it leaves the whole room and the other team in a state of shock. Nathan just gives off that cocky smirk he hasn't worn in a while and runs back to the opposite side.

He finishes the game with twelve points under his belt. Not his personal best, but good for a guy that could barely walk a few months ago. The buzzer sounds and his team runs out onto the court to celebrate their victory.

Everyone congratulates Nathan for finally making it back to the game and his coach gives him a good handshake before walking back to his office. Nathan just stands there, shocked by this whole scenario, and smiling like he's a little kid again. He looks around at his teammates and some are with their wives and families. He looks up into the crowd and sees something he never expected to see.

A blonde head of curls.

Before he can ever get a good look she's gone and he's left standing there wondering if it's really her. He convinces himself that it's just a figure of his imagination.

--

He walks out of the gym feeling like he's on top of the world. It's not the NBA yet, but he feels that it could be. Maybe soon, maybe a while from now, but whenever it comes, he's not going to take it for granted anymore. Because tonight was one of his best nights ever and he knows he'll never forget this.

There are these moments in his life that he's collected. When he made his first basket, when he made varsity in high school, and when he went on to play college ball. He realizes now that all those moments were shared with Peyton.

"Hey, Superstar!"

So when he sees that old comet parked a few feet away from him and that head of curls leaning up against it, he knows it's a moment he won't ever forget.

She's leaning up against the comet wearing nothing but a traditional Peyton Sawyer outfit, jeans and a band tee. It's simple and yet he's always found it sexy as hell.

"What'd I tell you about breaking those records?" She says smiling. He's too shocked to even answer her. He takes a step towards her and he's no longer mad at her. He thinks he never was, because he never could be with this girl. It's nearly impossible.

"What are you doing here?" He asks because honestly he didn't expect her to be here or even show up for his first game. He didn't even know she knew about it.

"Did you really think I'd miss your first game?" She smirks.

"So it was you in the crowd." He says, only inches away from her face.

She wraps her arms around his neck and takes a step closer where their only inches away. She can smell his cologne and feels the left over energy from the game following throughout his body.

"It's always been me, Nate." She says only loud enough for him to hear. He looks into her green eyes and for the first time their meeting halfway when they kiss.

Her fingers are running through his hair and his arms wrap around her hips and pulling her closer. He can taste the strawberries on her lips and can smell the coconut in her hair. It's two scents that have always had him going and it's all thanks to this girl.

This girl that's always been there. Whose art and music has changed his life forever. The girl he shared his lunches with and had ice cream dates with every Saturday. The girl he was always there for and stuck up for. The creative, beautiful, intelligent, sarcastic woman he fell in love with when they were little kids.

The girl that always ran away from him. But she always came back.

Because they both know it's always been Nathan and Peyton.

* * *

One more chapter to go :)


	14. Chapter 14

"Marry me."

The way he says it is so demanding, like any answer but yes isn't even an option. But that's Nathan Scott. He gets what he wants out of people, always has, always will. So when he asks this question, he already knows her answer. He's always known her answer. He never once doubted that she would say no. Besides, who can say no to Nathan Scott?

But the way she looks at him, the brightness of her green eyes is just different this time. Like the word 'no' is actually an option in her mind. But her eyes are screaming yes, but he can tell she's just trying to tease him. The way she looks at him, like she always knew the answer to this question.

"Yes." She whispers, too nervous to even look him in the eye. It's a vulnerability that she hates to show around people, but it's all Nathan sees when he looks at her

"Yes?" Its still comes as a shock to him when he hears that word leave her lips. He never doubted that she would decline his offer, but there was still that fear in the pit of his stomach when he bought the ring.

"Yes." She lets out a small laugh before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. "Yes, yes, yes." She kisses him hard as his hands wrap around her waist and pulls her closer.

She's everything to him. And he's getting to spend the rest of his life with Peyton Sawyer. He kind of already has.

It doesn't matter that they're only twenty-four. It doesn't matter that a year ago he was going through a divorce with Haley and recovering from his accident. Or that he's always on the road all the time with his team. It doesn't matter that after this season there's a chance he might be in the NBA. It doesn't matter that she doesn't want to leave Tree Hill or her gallery or that she turned down a marriage proposal from his brother.

Because she's getting married to Nathan.

"What day do you want to get married?" It's the first thing he says when she pulls away from him. Her arms are still wrapped around his neck and his hands never left her body. He smiles as she really thinks about his question.

"September 15." She says smiling up at him. Out of all of the days in the year, that's the one that sticks out to her.

"Why September 15?"

"It was the first day we met." She says quietly. "The first day of Kindergarten."

He chuckles, leaning his forehead against hers. "September 15th it is then." He says before leaning in to kiss her again.

He doesn't care about how young they are, or his track record with spontaneous weddings. He doesn't care that he'll have to dress up in another monkey suit or how crazy he knows Peyton will get planning this thing. He doesn't care about the massive amount of money Brooke's going to make him spend on this wedding. He doesn't care that September 15 is a little less than a year away. None of it matters.

He's getting married to Peyton Sawyer…finally.

--

She's not sure if she should be here.

She doesn't know if Nathan would approve of this visit she's about to have. But she feels that it's necessary. She's doing it for Nathan, because she knows this is what he wants.

It's been a while since she's really seen him. She'll see him walking down the street or in his car or just around town somewhere. They haven't talked since that day she can't relive. But this visit isn't about her.

She doesn't know where she got the strength to knock on his door, but it's strong and powerful. But when she sees those blue eyes staring back at her, that power and strength disappears.

"Peyton." Lucas says, shocked to see his old girlfriend.

"Hi."

"What, what are you doing here?"

"Can I talk to you?" She asks stepping back and forth on her feet. Lucas glances over his shoulder, thinking of any excuse to say no, before stepping out on to the porch and shutting the door behind him. He leads her over to the porch swing and takes a seat.

She takes the seat beside him and there's an awkward silence they both knew would come. Where does she start? Her hands rub up and down her knees as they become sweaty. He's staring at the wood that makes up his porch, waiting for her to start.

"Nathan and I are together." She says, not to make him feel bad, but to just get where she wants to go in this conversation.

"I heard." He nods.

"We're getting married." Like ripping a Band-Aid.

His head whips over to her, his eyes bug out, and when he realizes that he's shocked he tries to play it off. "Oh." He says quietly. "Well, congratulations." He moves to get up, but Peyton stops him.

"Luke, I know things ended badly with us and I know I'm not your favorite person, but…but I'm not here for me. I'm here for Nathan." She sighs, waiting for him to meet her eyes. Telling your ex-boyfriend that you're marrying his brother isn't something Peyton wants to do. It's something she never thought she'd have to do. But neither was falling in love with Nathan. "He misses you."

"He said that?" He asks with a hint of a smile on his face.

"Not exactly, but I know that he does. You know Nathan, he's too…he's too macho to admit anything. But, Luke, trust me, he misses you. And we want you to be at the wedding." She says the last part quietly.

If there's any person Lucas shouldn't trust right now its Peyton. She broke his heart, made him believe that she was actually in love with him when she wasn't, and then she runs off with his brother and marries him. He shouldn't trust her. But looking into those green eyes, he knows he can't resist.

"You want me to come to your wedding?" He chuckles at the irony. A year ago it would have been his and Peyton's wedding, not Nathan and Peyton's.

"Yeah, I do." She nods. "But I understand if it's too weird for you, but it would mean a lot to Nathan if you came. He really does miss his big brother." She smiles, placing a hand on his arm.

"I'll think about it." He says. Peyton flashes a smile and gets up to leave. "Peyton." He calls out to her when she's almost down the steps. "I'm not angry about what happened. I know I wasn't the guy for you."

She nods. "You're gonna make one hell of a husband one day, Lucas Scott." She smiles. "Thank you." She says quietly before turning around and walking off down the sidewalk back home to her fiancé.

--

He'd do anything for this girl he's known his entire life.

He'd scale walls and climb mountains – he wouldn't even think twice about risking his life for her. That's why his decision to ask her hand in marriage was made so quickly. That's why he found the perfect ring for her, why he didn't get mad when she suggested writing their own vows. He's too in love with her to be mad at her. He can't be.

He doesn't want to be anything but in love with her.

So today's going to be good. Today's going to be great and it's going to go down in the history books. Because he's marrying the most beautiful girl in the world today. He's putting on this monkey suit one more time and by the end of the day he's going to be the happiest guy on the planet. How could you not be with Peyton Sawyer?

There's not a doubt in his mind that what he's doing is wrong. It's perfect. His life, his girl, his dream. Nothing is going to stop him from doing this.

"Damnit." He mumbles fumbling with his bowtie. He takes a breath and looks back at himself in the mirror before giving it another try. His fingers fumble over the fabric and letting out a frustrated sigh he finally gives up.

"Need any help?"

Nathan looks into the mirror to see his brother standing in the doorway wearing a matching tuxedo.

"Luke." Nathan says quietly, turning around. It's been awhile since they've actually talked, a long while. "What are you doing here?"

"You'd think I'd miss my little brother's wedding?" He smirks walking over to Nathan and taking his bowtie in hand. Like the way his uncle taught him, Lucas ties a perfect tie and straightens up his brother's jacket. "You look good, man."

"I didn't think you'd come."

"Why wouldn't I come?" Lucas grins.

"Have you seen the girl I'm marrying?" Nathan asks raising an eyebrow.

Lucas chuckles and bows his head. "Yeah, I have and she's pretty hot. Don't screw this one up, man." He says patting his brother's shoulder. Nathan chuckles and he can't help but hug his brother. "Look, Nate, I don't mean to end this, but you have this amazing girl out there you got to marry."

"Right." Nathan nods.

"I'll see you out there, man." Lucas says walking out the door.

"Wait, you got to be my best man."

Lucas turns back to his brother and gives him a confused look. "Don't you already have one?"

Nathan shrugs. "One of the guys from my team, but I'd rather have my brother."

"I'd be honored." Lucas replies hugging his brother again. Today's not going to be about the awkwardness of this old love triangle. Lucas isn't in love with Peyton. Peyton doesn't want to be with Lucas. She's marrying Nathan. Today, that's all that matters.

"Hey, Nate." Lucas calls out to him once he's in the doorway and waits until his brother turns back to him. "I never did say congratulations. For making the Chiefs and…getting it all back. I wish I could have been there for your first game."

"It's OK." Nate shakes his head. "There's gonna be plenty more games."

"I sure do hope so." Lucas smiles patting his brother on the back again and walking out of the dressing room.

Yes, today's going to be a good day.

--

It's everything she's ever imagined.

Though, marrying her best friend wasn't on her list of things to do. It's still something she wouldn't give up for the world.

She sees Brooke at the end of the aisle just glowing with cheeriness. She always did love a wedding. Across from her she sees Nathan and she has to say that he looks pretty sexy in a tux. She's not surprised when she sees Lucas on the other side of Nathan. Peyton smiles at Lucas and he can only send her a knowing wink.

Her father's grip tightens around her arm once they reach the alter and she knows this isn't easy for him. Losing his only child to the love of her life was something he never really wanted to face. But Larry knows Nathan and he knew these two kids would one day tie the knot together and he's just happy that it's Nathan and not someone else.

Larry looks over at his daughter and lets out a reluctant sigh before leaning over and kissing her cheek and shaking Nathan's hand before taking his seat. Peyton takes her place across from Nathan and takes his hands into hers. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Mick and a few of her classmates, some employees from work, she sees the two empty seats in honor of both of her mothers, and she's glad to see Haley there as well. The two, to Nathan's surprise, have become close friends over the last year.

They don't find it weird that both their ex's are here. Lucas is Nathan's brother and Haley is…Haley. They're apart of this thing Peyton and Nathan have created for themselves. Part of this story their going to tell their kids one day. Having them here isn't the slightest bit weird.

Her green eyes don't leave his blue while the preacher gives his speech. They're zoning in and out of what he's saying and all they can really focus on right now is each other.

Because they're finally getting married.

They've waited for this day for a long time.

"Peyton." Nathan's voice brings her out of her thoughts. He smiles at her, knowing she wasn't paying a bit of attention. She smirks at him and he continues with his vows.

"We were six years – almost twenty years ago to this day – when we first met. You were so mean to me." He chuckles as does everyone else and she can't hide the small blush on her cheeks. "But I saw you and I just knew that this girl was going to change my life. And you have." He smiles. "I grew up believing that love was this superficial thing that was only real in books and fairy tales. I never thought it would actually happen to me. I thought I would go the rest of my life never feeling that kind of love. But every time I looked at you, into your green eyes, I knew. I think I've always known that that kind of love was with you. It just took me a few years to realize it. And I promise you that I won't ever forget what it feels like to be this much in love with you."

The blush on her cheeks reddens as the preacher says his few words until its Peyton's turn to speak. Nathan's eyes never tear away from her.

"You've always been there." She starts, looking up at him. "You've always given me advice and comfort and these great memories and you've never asked for anything in return. So, I guess now's as good of time as any to give you something back." She smiles. "I'm going to love you forever, Nathan Scott. You can bet on that."

They're practically jumping with anticipation for those six words. He's looking at her in her beautiful wedding dress and he knows he's never seen a more beautiful woman. And he remembers how much this woman has changed him. She's taught him how to use words like amazing and beautiful instead of sexy and hot. She helped him grow from the boy he used to be to the man he is today. She thinks she's never given him anything. She's given him everything.

She's given him her heart.

And when he hears those six words, _'You may now kiss the bride'_, he doesn't hesitate to reach out his hands and pull her in and embrace her lips. His hands hold her head still because he doesn't want her to ever leave his grasp. He wants her right there in his arms forever.

His hand finds hers and soon their walking out of the church, smiling, with their friends clapping and cheering for the couple they've always known were meant to be together.

Hours later they're sitting in a limo on their way to the airport. Their not going anywhere fancy for their honeymoon or any place exotic, but they're together. That's all they want.

He's still kissing her. They can't get over that married kiss. It's different, sweeter somehow, but it feels so good.

"I love you." He says quietly when he breaks apart, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I love you too."

--

He's had two other of these phone calls in his life. This one's different though. This one comes as more of a shock to him than the others. It comes at one of the greatest moments of his life too.

It's mixed in with other missed calls they've had piled up since they left for their honeymoon. Peyton was off in the kitchen fixing a snack when he decided to sort through them and see what he missed.

He never expected to get_ that_ call.

That call that tells him everything he's ever worked for has paid off. Telling him his dream has come true. That call that tells him that he just got into the NBA.

What's even better is that he's gonna be playing for the Bobcats, meaning him and Peyton don't have to go anywhere. They can stay right here in Tree Hill. Where they've always belonged.

Nathan's standing there, frozen in place, when Peyton comes back into the living room. She's seen that look on him before. It's a good look. And she has a good idea on why he's wearing it but she doesn't push him.

He tears is eyes away from nothing when he feels her presence. He sees her standing there, smiling that beautiful smile and he instantly wraps his arms around her and lifts her up into the air.

He yells out that he's in the NBA multiple times and when it finally registers through her head she's screaming louder than he is. He sets her down gently and stares down at her.

"Thank you." He says.

"For what?" She questions, kinking her brow.

"For believing I could do it."

She smiles and her hand rubs up against his cheek. "You don't ever have to thank me, Nathan." He wraps his arms around her again and just holds her, letting her words linger in his mind.

He has everything to thank her for.

--

He dominates in his first game.

10 points, 8 assists.

He's never scored that low before, but it's playing the game that matters, not scoring in it. He's in the NBA, that's all that matters. It might be a while before he'll really be back to his normal game, but he thinks he's just fine for now.

Seeing that curly blonde walking towards him gives him further proof of it.

She's not running to him like he thought she would, her smile isn't as wide as her face. It's not how he imagined seeing her after his first game. She's just walking towards him with a half smile and her hands in her jean pockets. It's not how he imagined, but it's looking pretty damn good now.

He meets her half way and one arm wraps around his neck easily while the other grabs a handful of his white jersey and everything and everyone around them fades away. She kisses him hard and doesn't plan on breaking away.

His hands land on her hips as he pulls her closer. He can hear the small moan that escapes from the back of her throat and he knows this is going to be a great night.

He can hear his teammates in the background and they know not to interrupt his time with the curly blonde. They've learned that pretty quickly.

He can still remember his first day of practice when she showed up with him and waited for him to get done. He introduced her to his teammates and coach and from since then they've had nothing but nice things to say about her. He loves how she gets so into the game when he's playing and how she refuses to sit in the luxury box, but in the stands with the real fans. She meets with the other player's wives and he can tell that she really enjoys this life.

He really enjoys it to.

He doesn't have a big house or a million dollar car. He doesn't need any of that. He refuses to sink into _that_ lifestyle. He's perfectly happy with his two bedroom apartment and his girl in his arms.

He can feel her breaking point and hates it when it finally comes. But her hand stays connected to his shirt and she still tries to move closer to him and then he doesn't hate it so much anymore.

"Best game ever." He hears her whisper into his ear. Her eyes meet his blue ones and he only smiles. He won't mention the few mistakes he made or the few shots he missed. It was his best game ever. It was his dream game.

His lips capture hers again, but this time they don't embrace it. It's short and quick, but still it's one they both love. He breaks away this time and grabs her hand. He's ready to leave but she pulls him back.

There's a hint of worry in her eyes and he knows it. Her hands are sweaty and she feels to be shaking. He's about to ask if she's OK, but then she looks up at him with those innocent green eyes.

"I'm pregnant." She says quietly. He's frozen in place, but his insides seem to explode with excitement. It's probably not the best time for them to have a baby, but he knows and she knows that it doesn't matter when or where they have a kid. They're going to love it no matter what.

Her nerves disappear when she sees his smile and she eases into him when his strong arms wrap around her small frame. His hand moves through her soft hair and he can feel tears on his shirt. He takes a step back with his smile still intact and he wipes the small tears that have seemed to escape from her. He takes her hand again and leads her to the exit.

"Best day ever." She hears him whisper.

--

Six months later and she's still as beautiful as ever. Even when her stomach is as big as a basketball and she has some of the most disgusting kinds of cravings he's ever seen. She just glows, as corny as that sounds.

She seems happier and excited to be a mother. Sure, at times she's a bit emotional and he seems to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but he's willing to take anything from her if it means he can hold that little baby in his arms.

And he's never seen her so prepared for something in her life. She's decorated the whole nursery and bought out the entire store when shopping for toys and clothes. And in good Brooke Davis fashion, she's received clothes from her best friend weekly. Boxes filled with maternity clothes and some things from her supposed new line 'Baby Brooke'.

He loves seeing her so excited to be a mother. But, honestly, he's scared shitless.

"I like Daniel. For a boy." She says one night when they're laying in bed together. His arms are wrapped around her as her head falls in the crook of his arm and things are just so peaceful between the two and with everything.

"No." He votes out immediately.

"Why not? I like Daniel." She whines.

"Do you not know my father's name?" He says smirking down at her.

It takes her a second to put two and two together and when she does finally realize it her face falls. "I hate the name Daniel."

"That's what I thought." He chuckles. "What about Anna? For a girl. After your mom." He asks peaking down at her and seeing the smile she has. "Her middle name could be Elizabeth. After her mom."

"After my mom." She says quietly with a hint of a smile. She doesn't necessarily talk about Ellie that much. There wasn't much she knew about her, but she's seen pictures and she knows now who she gets all her looks from. And from what Mick's told her, she was an amazing woman who just made one too many mistakes in her life and that the only thing she ever wanted was to see Peyton again. Somewhere in her that's what Peyton wants to. Someday she will though. Just not anytime soon.

"I like it." She says.

"Now what if it's a boy?" Nathan asks, pulling her a bit closer. "I'm still voting for Nathan Jr." He jokes, earning a smack from Peyton. The two laugh before easing back into the silence and trying to think of a name.

"I want it to be a name that has both you and me in it. Something special, you know?"

"No matter what this kid's name is gonna be he or she is going to be special."

"Yeah, and how do you know?"

"Because his mom's pretty fantastic." He smiles.

"His?" She smirks.

"I'm hoping for a boy." He tells her. "But it would be pretty great to have a little daddy's girl."

She smiles thinking of their child and what they'll look like. If it'll have raven hair or blond curls. Green eyes or blue. If they'll be smart and into music like their mom or into sports like their dad. But she knows that whatever way their child turns out she'll love it and help them with anything they need to know or do. Because that's what her mom did with her and she doesn't plan on being anything less.

"I'm scared, Nate." He hears her whisper later on that night.

"About what?" He pulls her closer.

"Being a mom and being a good one."

"Me too. About being a dad, I mean." He says. "I mean, we didn't exactly have the best examples." He says meaning his parents. "My dad was a big bully and my mom was always on…something."

"And I practically grew up alone." She says sadly. "Oh God, what if we turn out like them, Nathan?"

"We won't." He says so sure of himself. "We made a promise remember?" He says seeing if she'll remember a promise they made when they were only thirteen. He looks down at her and sees the smile she's wearing and he knows she remembers.

"I won't be like my father, Peyton. If there's one promise I'm going to keep it's that one."

"Good." She hugs him tighter.

"We're going to be great parents, Peyt. I just know it."

--

She was six years old when she first met Nathan Scott in this very classroom.

If she would have known how much he would change her life she probably would have warmed up to him a lot quicker. But she wouldn't change any of it even if she could.

The two have been through a lot together. They've survived broken hearts and shattered dreams. They've realized who they are and have overcome some of life's biggest tragedies while doing so. But they've done it together. He's always been her rock. He's made promises that he tells her he'll never break. And he hasn't. She's not sure why she never saw it sooner. The man that was always there for her and for everyone else.

She still finds it hard to believe her life has turned out the way it has. That she's been living this dream for six years now. That her little boy is growing up so fast and that as every day goes by she sees more and more of Nathan in him.

It feels like just yesterday when Sawyer Lucas Scott was born.

Everyone said he was the cutest thing to ever walk the planet and Nathan and Peyton knew were right. Peyton found out quickly how to be a great mom. Every cry or noise he made, Peyton was there to comfort or just to watch over. She still is.

And Nathan's one hell of a dad.

"And if anyone picks on you, Sawyer, remember the comebacks I told you."

"OK, dad."

"Nathan!" Peyton slaps his arm, and she can't help but chuckle to herself. Sometimes she feels like she's raising two kids. "Sawyer, if anyone starts picking on you, you tell the teacher." She says tighten her grip around her son's hand and throwing Nathan a glare, one in which he chuckles at.

"OK, mom." Sawyer says less enthusiastic at her idea than his father. Peyton smiles proudly and continues their way down the hall.

Sawyer's the spitting image of his father with the exception of his green eyes. There's a hint of a curl in his raven hair, but he keeps it cut short just like his dad. He's a basketball fanatic and gets excited over anything that has anything to do with the sport. He picked up his mom's intelligence at an early age, but what Peyton really wanted him to have was a love for art or even music. But he all he seems to care about is that orange ball. His father is his hero through and through, but there's not a doubt that he's a big momma's boy.

They reach the classroom that both Nathan and Peyton haven't seen in years and their both happy that their boy is attending the same school they did. At the sight of other kids Peyton can feel Sawyer cowering back behind her leg. The teacher comes over and introduces herself and the two parents have a short talk with her before giving their attention back to Sawyer.

"You ready?" Peyton asks, getting down on one knee to meet his matching green eyes. She sees him shake his head no and she remembers the day she was scared to leave her parents too.

"It's gonna be OK, buddy." Nathan says meeting him at eye level too. "You're gonna have fun today. I promise."

"I don't want you to leave." He says quietly. "I don't know anyone."

"I didn't know anyone on my first day either." Peyton says rubbing her hand up and down Sawyer's arm. "But then this little boy came over and introduced himself to me and he shared his lunch with me eventually he became my friend. And he still is till this day."

"Really?" Sawyer asks, more interested in the story.

"Yeah." Nathan cuts in. "Me and your mom couldn't survive one day without each other and believe me we've tried." He says smiling over at his wife. "So, you go in there and show everyone that you're the man and that everyone should be your friend and soon enough you'll be the coolest kid in school." Nathan says smiling, fixing his son's collar.

"OK." Sawyer nods.

"OK." Peyton musters out when she realizes the tears are coming and that her little boy is about to leave. "I love you, Sawyer, and you have fun today."

"I love you too, mom." He says hugging her back. "Love you too, dad."

"Love you, buddy." Nathan says giving him a quick hug before watching Sawyer run inside and set his things down. The two adults stand back up and Nathan wraps his arm around Peyton's waist and pulls her closer. They stand there and watch Sawyer maneuver around the room for a minute or two while Peyton gets herself together.

"He's growing up too fast." Peyton says, wiping away the loose tears.

"That's the only you can grow up nowadays." Nathan says. "Come on. Let's let him have fun." He says taking Peyton's hand and leading her down the hall.

"Hi." Sawyer says to the first person he sees. It just so happens to be a girl sitting at a table all by herself. He's not sure why he chose to talk to her first, she just seemed interesting to him.

"I'm Sawyer." He says when she doesn't even acknowledge him.

"What do you want?" The girl asks, clearly annoyed with him.

"Your name." He says flashing his father's smirk.

* * *

It still amazes me that not too long ago this was only a one shot and now it's turned into a whole story. I loved writing this story and it was probaably the one I enjoyed the most and I'm sad to see it end. But thank you to everyone that read and reviewed. It really meant a lot to me.


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